June 15, 2005

Societies' Fair

Ever get the feeling there aren't enough socs at this university?

Cockney Soc

'Ere! Lawks a daisy guv'na! Well I'll be a monkey's uncle, why ain't there no cock-er-nee soc 'ere? What are us propa workin' class Lahndahners a-gonna do? It's all posh gits and northern nancies round 'ere, wiv their a poncy scarves and flat caps, like Corrie on the telly. We are gonna organise Cockney Soc and have lotsa propa cock-er-nee knees up events. Come visit our regular schedule and see what we can do for you.

  • Cock-er-nee knees up!

Gather round the old Joanna and we'll play time honoured cock-er-nee classics like 'Rabbit' by Chaz And Dave, 'My Old Man's A Dustman' and 'Can't Stand Me Now' by Chaz And Dave The Libertines.

  • Ee-nin Stannat

We get a regular deliveries of Evening Standards which we will read and then discuss whilst driving round in cars, just like the taxi drivers we knew back 'ome.

  • Cock-er-nee Rhymin' Slang Tuesdays

Spent the 'ole day just talking to people on the dog and bone, gettin' into a barney wiv the trouble and strife, and laughin' at people who don't know why a berk is so rude.

  • Man Utd Matches

We regularly organise trips to watch our favourite team – Manchester United.

Plat Soc

Fed up with joining societies and having relationships, flings and one night stands with the people you meet there? Pissed off at the heartbreak, inconvenience and social awkwardness such encounters create? Wondering why you joined mixed netball?

The answer is Plat Soc, the society for completely platonic relationships. There will be no romance to be found here, any lusty looks and feelings of chemistry will be extinguished by our trained mood killers. Rejoice as smoochy love songs are replaced with such libido stifling hits as 'Mogwai Fear Satan' by Mogwai, 'Mausoleum' by Manic Street Preachers and the entire back catalogue of Nine Inch Nails. Delight as we perform raindances to drive away picturesque sunsets. Marvel and thank the heavens as we insist on meetings taking place only after everyone present has obscured their faces and bodies using lint.

To help you we have appointed an anti-social sec who will break up any relaxed atmospheres, and will lead missions to the toilets at meetings to ensure no hanky panky takes place.

(Plat Soc is not affiliated with Plato Soc because Plato is monumentally batshit crazy and is a bit of a crap philosopher really...)

Sock Soc

Why do we love them? Where do they come from? Where do they go? Why can I only ever find three black socks when I clearly require socks in multiples of two?

Yes, get together with other sock lovers and find out the difference between a thick winter sock and a slipper sock. Marvel at our Union funded range of socks, try them on and share your own with other members. We are a friendly club who often have socials with the Foot Fetish Soc guys, who are really lovely and very interested in our socky love as well.

As a special treat we sometimes hire out the Butterworth Hall and put on sock puppets shows for local impoverished children for which we received Coventry City Council's 2003 award for 'Most Helpful Bunch Of Local Nutters.' Go on, sock it to the Man!

- 8 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. I LOVE it!

    I suggested a Misanthrope-Soc on te b-logs many moons ago. As a bona fine wearer of cor-blimey-trousers and militant asexual; I'd consider membership of those two £5 well spent and actually used.

    15 Jun 2005, 01:19

  2. Uhh.. Vag Hole.

    15 Jun 2005, 01:20

  3. Holly, as an authentic West Ham-supporting Cockney I will be organising a boycott of your society, with its crass, stereotyped portrayal of all Cockneys as Man U supporting taxi-drivers.


    15 Jun 2005, 02:08

  4. Also I believe you forgot to mention jellied eels…

    15 Jun 2005, 02:09

  5. Daisy, what you need is

    The Real Cockney Soc

    Actual genuine cockneys who support West Ham, were born in the sound of Bow Bells and have a fatwa on Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. Join the RCS and our weekly trip to Walthamstowe race track. Cripes!

    15 Jun 2005, 02:18

  6. I think Dick van Dyke wins the 'worst fake cockney accent ever' award.

    15 Jun 2005, 11:25

  7. I always thought he was australian… but then I suppose australians are just an extreme form of super-cockney. The most extreme form returns as the same in the eternal return, and it has a barbecue and sets up immigration detention centres.

    15 Jun 2005, 11:51

  8. hehe wicked!! there will never be enough soc(k)s!!

    17 Jun 2005, 19:56

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