April 06, 2006

Phone Smugness

O2 are lovely.

They email me on a semi regular basis to let me know they've been reading Orwell and are assessing my phone usage so they can make helpful informed advice for me, and definitely not to use my habits as part of a nefarious plot to take over my life.

This plan thing is designed to let users know which slightly extortionate plan to waste their cash on for free minutes at times of the day when no one on earth is actually conscious, or more text messages than even the most inarticulate chav can send in a month. Anyway I'm on a plan we will refer to as xxx today they informed me that

the xxx plan is the best for you. You were right all along.

I love the implication of a begrudging tone in there. "You were right all along" as if somehow, in the beginning, they doubted me and my decision. Now I have proven myself in mortal combat or somesuch and they grovel at my feet. I have triumphed over the expectations of a big company and can now grow as a person and fulfill my real goal in life – whatever that is.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

Ring ring...


- 18 comments by 3 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Christopher Rossdale

    When i called them saying i wanted my code so that i could transfer my number to orange, they asked why i was switching.

    "Orange give me a better deal"
    "What do they give you?"

    er….
    "1000 texts a month"
    "We can give you that"

    er….
    "Yeah, it's a contract, it comes with a phone as part of the package"
    "Well you don't send that many texts a month anyway"

    !!!!
    – Chris hangs up
    Tossers

    06 Apr 2006, 00:51

  2. Allan Smith

    I like o2. I upgraded my phone yesterday; I was thinking about that thin Motorola Razr jobby, but the girl I spoke to actually talked me out of it as the keypad can be a bit fiddly; even though I would have been giving her employers more money. Either they really do strive to be helpful, or she's slowly taking them down from the inside.

    06 Apr 2006, 09:59

  3. hehe I got that email this morning too. This thing that they are checking up that its the right tariff is a bit stupid IMHO. Surely you try to keep withhin your limits. If you knew you wernt using all your texts/calls you'd downsize and pay less?

    I assume that most people sign a contract and then try and keep within your free calls/texts limits – as such it seems like thats all you need…

    06 Apr 2006, 10:03

  4. Vodafone go even further and regularly try to manipulate my love life – I get this text every few months:

    Show the women in your life that not all men are hopeless at staying in touch. Send a text. A quick text can work wonders...

    Aside from the blatent attempt to get me to give them more money for no good reason, they obviously haven't researched me enough to know there is no woman/en in my life, and that a cold reminder of that is the last thing I want to hear! So I'm changing over the summer – what's the best deal right now people?

    06 Apr 2006, 11:24

  5. Allan Smith

    Depends on what you're after, inclusive-wise. Online deals definitely seem to be the best way to go.

    I'm on o2 online 50 (50 mins, 200 SMS/ 75 mins and 300 SMS on the 18-month option) for £19 p/m. Orange seem to have some fair deals also.

    My only real advice would be to avoid T-Mobile as if it were a sneezing Scottish swan.

    06 Apr 2006, 13:10

  6. James

    But T-Mobile's flexT deals are amongst the best online, what is wrong with them?

    06 Apr 2006, 16:16

  7. Allan Smith

    The deals are probably good, but I've heard too many bad stories with T-Mobile to ever be tempted. There's every chance the vast majority of people have great experience with them, but I've been more than scared off.

    06 Apr 2006, 17:25

  8. When I was in Turkey the other day, my phone was showing what village I was in on the display. I mean way out of the way places…Uchisar, Nevshehir, Goreme, Urgup, Klaymakli. When I was at the airport it correctly identified my position as "Ataturk Havali Mani", and then it changed to something else when I was on the runway. Weird shit. But helpful when we needed to get to a town and were in the middle of nowhere.

    07 Apr 2006, 16:30

  9. I changed from 3 shudders back to Orange as I'd been happily on Orange all my life and was only duped into signing a 3 contract last year at about the same time as every other fresher was…

    So as soon as the contract expired this year I went and searched out a nice Orange contract phone, from a shop and everything, with 1000 texts and 120 minutes a month which seemed perfect for me as on 3 I'd been getting massively expensive bills for using 600 texts out of the 100 I'm allowed, regardless of the fact that I was only using 200 minutes max out of the 500 the gave me!

    Now I love my orange phone, I rarely use all the minutes the give me (although apparently this month I used 119.9 hehe) and the minutes that I don't use get carried over to the next month! Don't know if the text messages are the same as I apparently used 1040 out of 1000 this month…well if they will set me a challenge…

    09 Apr 2006, 15:10

  10. Christopher Rossdale

    Woah, 1040!? I barely dent my 1000, that's mighty impressive. Entering a lot of competitions? :P

    09 Apr 2006, 22:27

  11. Hehe no, I refuse to text-type, so my texts are generally longer than you're average scally anyway, but I also have somewhat of a tendancy to waffle (see above post) so I'll regularly send text messages that are actually 4 pages long, and it was my 21st this month so I was sending out 4 page text messages to practically everyone I knew to try and sort out what was happening…

    At least that's what I'm blaming it on! Hehe…

    To be honest they did set me a challenge by giving me that many texts…

    10 Apr 2006, 00:32

  12. I've always been with T-mobile, since it was One2One in fact. I wouldn't change because it suits me fine, especially since they seem to be the only company with free voicemail – definitely necessary. They've recently been giving me free credit as well for some reason, not that I'm complaining…

    10 Apr 2006, 12:29

  13. Had cause to hang up on t mobile and angrily make sandwiches so many times in the year I was with them, that the idea of going back to them makes my inner child cry…

    Basically they don't do customer service, or listening to complaints, or admitting their own mistakes…

    10 Apr 2006, 13:50

  14. But I resent having to pay extortionate rates to even ring customer services as I had to when with O2. And no phone company can be anywhere near as bad as Three when it comes to service… or anything else, for that matter. I've never had any problems with T-mobile.

    10 Apr 2006, 14:53

  15. Fair enough… that's why I'm with Orange! They've sorted every problem I've had, and given quality service the whole time I've been with them!

    10 Apr 2006, 21:07

  16. I'm with Orange, and they've fucked me about lately-

    I went into the shop, and chose a better contract than the one I'm on, but I had to open-and-close rather than just say "change my details please." Orange Registration screwed up and it took me a couple of weeks to sort out. Luckily I had the help of the nice "Phone Trainer" from the shop, who helped me get around Orange's typical huge-corporation-inflexibility by bending rules until they FINALLY gave me what they owed me anyway. Bastards.

    But now I am satisfied and have a shiny new phone.

    14 Apr 2006, 18:14

  17. I'm with Orange, and they've fucked me about lately-

    I went into the shop, and chose a better contract than the one I'm on, but I had to open-and-close rather than just say "change my details please." Orange Registration screwed up and it took me a couple of weeks to sort out. Luckily I had the help of the nice "Phone Trainer" from the shop, who helped me get around Orange's typical huge-corporation-inflexibility by bending rules until they FINALLY gave me what they owed me anyway. Bastards.

    But now I am satisfied and have a shiny new phone.

    14 Apr 2006, 18:14

  18. Bridget King

    I have recently contracted with T Mobile on a Flext package.

    It's a long story – but I will never touch T Mobile or Phones 4 U again. Would be interested to here from anyone else who is having a nightmare with the Flext pacakages and if you anyway to resolving the issues. T Mobile just do not want to listen

    16 Apr 2006, 19:14


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