January 17, 2006

Patriotism Gone Mad?

No, this isn't a political rant (for once). I got stamped on during a tackle in football training today and the result was this beauty.

It doesn't hurt as much as it looks but it was bothering me for some reason. Why did it make me think of something else? So I twisted my leg round and took photos (yes, my leg is as narcissistic as I am) and looked on in realistation.

Oh yes, it's not just a wound, it's an affirmation of the country I grew up in, the nation where my mother was born, the land which gave the world crumpets, moaning and the spaghetti junction. A land of rain, grumbling and mild fog on summer mornings. A land where cows run free until they get BSE or tipped by bored rural children.

A land where taxi drivers have more opinions than government does and where badly written newspapers captivate millions with the simple application of tits. A land where we can all live together in mild distrust and animosity.Our national heros, we salute the great Britons like Sven Goran Eriksson, Terry Wogan, Ross from Friends and Ferne Cotton.

I salute it with my leg, a BRITISH leg, a patriotic leg. Stand up and be counted (cos I can't cos my leg hurts).

Still at least it's not celebrating my Irish roots as an orange and green leg would be a concern...


- 23 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Any excuse to show off your legs…
    Nice bruise though!

    17 Jan 2006, 23:24

  2. Christopher Rossdale

    Lol, i've never felt more patriotic

    Well i've never actually felt patriotic, but that still makes this a first! :P

    18 Jan 2006, 00:51

  3. That is truly impressive. You should send it to FHM and see if you can get 20 quid or 50 quid or whatever they give you.

    18 Jan 2006, 00:54

  4. They give money for patriotic injuries? Unfortunately I'd get shouted at by friends if I actually read FHM so I'm not familiar with how one claims cash for getting hurt… oh no, wait, I am.

    Calls Claims Direct

    Hello, leeches. I got hurt through my own actions. Can I sue anyone?

    18 Jan 2006, 01:28

  5. *re-examines pictures*

    Holly has Toblerone!

    18 Jan 2006, 01:54

  6. This is stage 1 of a 10 stage flag-shaped accidental injury project, stage 10 being a perfect rendition of the flag of Mozambique

    18 Jan 2006, 03:48

  7. Just getting a tattoo like a regular (?) person isn't good enough for you, is it?

    18 Jan 2006, 09:14

  8. It might go gold and green in a later incarnation – then you can keep everybody happy!

    Congratulations – it's very impressive.

    18 Jan 2006, 09:44

  9. clearly a candidate for Miss Great Britain

    18 Jan 2006, 17:38

  10. Moz

    You should send a picture of that to the D*ily M*il to show that patroitism is still alive and well in the youth of today. :P

    18 Jan 2006, 18:24

  11. I just looked at these photos and checked my leg and it's now roughly 50% larger and almost completely purple. Even the most patriotic intentions eventually turn into a strange mix of cider, beer and ribena…

    Strangley though there's a patch right in the middle with no bruising at and it dones't hurt when i touch it. Most bizarre.

    18 Jan 2006, 20:03

  12. the football's the problem here, clearly

    18 Jan 2006, 20:23

  13. Wait … your leg is 50% larger? Isn't that pretty inconvenient? Or at least funny?

    19 Jan 2006, 08:10

  14. Thats hilarious! YOURE HILARIOUS!

    what imagination.

    19 Jan 2006, 16:09

  15. Man alive Hol, now THAT'S a stud mark!! Makes my little scar look quite measly!

    19 Jan 2006, 16:29

  16. Dave tCB

    Ouch. This isn't a subconscious response to Gordon Brown's call for a Britain Day is it? Get the ice pack on it is my advice.

    19 Jan 2006, 17:16

  17. Evie

    that means dedication if u ask me!! come to basketball, u have NO FEAR!!!!

    19 Jan 2006, 17:45

  18. Anonymous

    The first picture shows a red, white and blue 'V' shape which, interestingly, is the symbol of the British National Party. You might get more for the rights to your picture if you offer them the tender as well as FHM. Now what would your friends make of that?

    19 Jan 2006, 22:10

  19. Anonymous 2

    Actually they look a bit hairy them legs ;-) lol

    19 Jan 2006, 23:08

  20. You try shaving what is essentially a massive bruise with some leg attached! Argh, the pain would be somewhat painful…

    It's gone purple and is going down a bit now. Although I've just discovered it is painful to run on. Looks like the double whammy of jiu jitsu and football later might not be the best idea ever.

    20 Jan 2006, 03:38

  21. I once had a cut that looked like the Nike swoosh. But yours beats it by far.

    20 Jan 2006, 15:44

  22. Oooow. That really does look very sore.

    (winces in sympathy)

    You could enter my interesting injuries competition. :P

    20 Jan 2006, 19:49

  23. oh holly you're so sexy! I never knew leg painting could be so sexy!

    21 Jan 2006, 14:30


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