January 26, 2006

No Cruise? You Lose?

It's election time and if it's anything like it was last year then the blogs (free from the censorship that the Boar suffers from (and Raw and WTV keep complaining that they would suffer from if only someone cared enough to make them suffer)) are choked with election propaganda, campaign diaries and waffle. So I'm wading in early to say:

No Cruise? You Lose!

Yes, I am not running for anything and the only people who are losing out are you! Yes, you unlucky people are going to be devoid of my charismatic leadership and devastating good looks, at least in a sexy schmexy sabb role.

Anyway just to rub it in I'm going to publish my campaign posters, hahaha.



You lot will have to cope without my leadership. Oh well, tough shit, eh?


- 24 comments by 3 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. How appropriate: I can't vote in these elections. Together we can conquer world democracy.

    26 Jan 2006, 21:39

  2. Nice quill though. =)

    26 Jan 2006, 22:03

  3. Dave tCB

    Brill! Can you play the guitar and do keepie-uppie at the same time? As an undedicated non-student of nothing I salute your indefatigability.

    26 Jan 2006, 22:49

  4. Oh my GOD… [swoons…] Thundering gherkins, you have a QUILL?! Gods’ teeth! Odds’ Blood! Forsooth! Spoon! Trivock! Tush-and-fourpence! Etc.! I want one. I want one now. I have two bottles of ink sitting on my shelf… My selection of nibs and penning implements feel suddenly… not enough… Four pints of damn and a chaser of hellBLAST I want one… Where does one buy them? (Presuming you didn’t make it yourself from a foraged feather? If you did I will actually die of jealousy… When I was very very young [you see how ancient my desire for a quill goes!], I once tried to make one from a pheasant’s feather from our garden and burst a couple of ink cartridges into a beaker for ink. It all failed and dried and I think I ruined a white school shirt. Incidentally, my neighbours [they were from Stockport, originally – god knows how they ended up in the depths of rural Berkshire] called our pheasants Charlie if they were male and Matilda if they were female. I still don’t know why…)

    27 Jan 2006, 00:01

  5. Paul, I am sorry, it was a present from a long time ago but I shall try and get the person who got it for me (I have a good idea which friend it was) and shake them for information to furnish your good self with such an item. It is lovely though I cannot take it to lectures as I'll only end up stroking it rather than taking notes.

    Excellent array of exclamations, I think we should launch a joint campaign to get gadzooks back in the vernacular where it belongs.

    Everyone else you're love is appreciated. You are all part of my non-campaign now!

    27 Jan 2006, 00:58

  6. Ah! Gadzooks! Goodness, yes! Some cunning sequence of pamphlets or fliers, perhaps, to start the campaign? Scattered from a great height whilst Odes are declaimed… [damn, if I don’t feel an Ode coming on!]

    Let all who love our Tongue rejoice!
    And to our Noble Cause give voice;
    Let drums roll and fanfares announce
    That Drudgery we do denounce!

    [etc. I may find time to expand this – watch this space!]

    “I bet we could set fire to some arses, with THAT paper, John!”
    “Damn-it-every-which-way-but-once, Peter, I think you’re right!

    27 Jan 2006, 01:43

  7. Mathew Mannion

    I'm strangely aroused

    27 Jan 2006, 05:54

  8. I was gonna run on the ticket of banning Top B, enforcing a 'jumpers-only rule' at Skool Dayz and privatising the Union's catering facilities.

    In the end I had a degree to do.

    Damn, no Cruise – I've lost. I would have voted for ya. (Can I even vote, as a finalist?)

    27 Jan 2006, 10:56

  9. To compensate, I'm going to vote for anyone with a name slightly similar to yours.

    27 Jan 2006, 14:52

  10. Vote Angst!

    27 Jan 2006, 15:07

  11. Sorry, that's just so last year.

    27 Jan 2006, 15:07

  12. Holly, I promise not to vote for you.

    27 Jan 2006, 20:08

  13. I have to say, all this election stuff is scaring me somewhat. I walked into Union South today at 11:00, which is early in my books, and the whole place was littered with fliers. I swear that it wasn't quite so bad last year, but then again in my innebriated state as a fresher i was probably too busy counting my fingers than noticing posters with catchy slogans asking me to vote people in for a TYGGYV position, or whatever the hell half are them are. I think people are just stringing random letters together and making up sabbatical positions, I don't know what half the people are actually running for damn it!

    27 Jan 2006, 21:41

  14. my position has a name rather than an acronym….abuses 'hollyzone' for campaigning.... pam-ifesto!!!
    hol for president….of like…..wales.

    28 Jan 2006, 14:34

  15. This campaign has convinced me. I promise to actively not vote for you.

    Fortunately, as a finalist I would be losing out on your leadership skills anyway, so I'm really glad that no one else gets to benefit.

    29 Jan 2006, 08:30

  16. exactly the kind of leader we need!!!

    to b honest i think that the difference between u and all the other candidates is the fact that u r at least honest and realistic about it all, and hence ask for people not to vote for you.

    altho i am curious of ur hidden reverse psychology motives!....

    anyhow, i applaud the creativity and wit!

    f.

    30 Jan 2006, 18:11

  17. Christopher Rossdale

    This is why online voting won't work – how the hell am i meant to spoil my ballot and vote for you!

    31 Jan 2006, 02:43

  18. I see you're a fan of Terry Goodkind.

    31 Jan 2006, 03:13

  19. Holly, please put some posters up, I bet some moron will actually try to vote for you in the webpages!

    I know I'm going to!

    I'm going to hack just to make it possible!

    You'll be president yet, Cruise…

    31 Jan 2006, 21:49

  20. Some years there are one or two people who nominate themselves for Sabb positions with absolutely no intention of winning, but do it as some sort of publicity statement or just to make a point of some sort. It's a shame you didn't take this option and actually stand under the "No Cruise, You Lose" slogan. Much as it goes against the spirit of the elections and generally pisses off those poor souls who have to administer the election process, it does make the elections period a whole lot more fun.

    31 Jan 2006, 22:05

  21. Long Live Damian… The People's Sports Sabb

    31 Jan 2006, 22:12

  22. 90 people's Sports Sabb, if I remember rightly.

    01 Feb 2006, 00:02

  23. People who want to get into positions of power always have an evil power complex. Therefore, the best people to be in positions of power, are those who never wanted it. There is a small amount of logic in there somewhere, you might have to dig around.

    01 Feb 2006, 14:20

  24. Give me the power.
    Now.
    All of it.

    01 Feb 2006, 21:18


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