So much profundity and yet no one asked the obvious… am I an insomniac?
I'm wondering about this on the basis that it appears that, for the last two weeks me, my normal bedtime has been 2am. Except last night when I was very good and went to bed at 1.15am… and couldn't sleep. Even going to bed at 2am means I'm not actually going to get to sleep for another 30–45mins as my brain, utterly and hopelessly inactive in the day, usually takes advantage of me to spring its lastest ideas (no, we are not replacing my left hand with a laser gun, I want to sleep). Even getting up in the morning is not hard and usually the process has begun when one or more members of my immediate family will stick their head round my bedroom door and say "Holly, are you awake?". I am now. At 8am. Nurgh.
But I don't feel too bad for the average 6–7 hours I get. Some of my housemates need decades to recover form even quiet nights in, spent playing Halflife 2 for hours on end (I told them not to get it). It is a form of bemusement to them to find me trying to write essays at 2am even though everyone knows that this is when you reach a state of purity and genius that renders all essays written at this time to be works of art. Sometimes literally if my brain wanders and I doodle all over the essay (look, I've drawn us a diagram of how cool we'd look if we replaced our left hand with a laser gu… shut up!).
Here's what you sleepyheads are missing:
Midnight This is when all TV shows abandon common sense, decency and, often, English. If it's not in English it is not porn. If it is porn I don't want to watch it cos most porn I've seen has been far too graphic (yeah yeah I know, that's the point…). This is more a reflection on my friends than me y'know. Also blogging becomes easy and all blog entries are brilliant if worryingly profound…
1am Suddenly any food where the cooking instruction is 'Add boiling water and simmer' becomes inifinitely desirable. Pastas, rice, sauce, omlettes (I can't cook omlettes but anyway) all loom large and tasy and inviting. 1am is also the perfect time to visit a 24 hour supermarket. I wish I still lived near one. I miss Westwood.
2am Essays now a doddle. Everything you write and draw challenges the greats of the genre, Jane Austen, Vincent van Gogh, Albert Camus, Geogria O'Keefe… actually I read Camus' 'The Outsider' and the prose was shite. Porbably best disregard him…
3am Now you're cooking with gas. Which explains why you have a disgusting pasta based dish in front of you. Mmm, probably should have eaten it at 1am when it was a good idea. Anyway, 3am is the perfect time to listen to drunks sobering up or to have indepth heart to hearts. Or you could listen to that 'Really Unsettling Music' playlist you made the other day. Spooky.
4am Wheeeeeeeee! This is the best time to go driving (stay sober). The roads are virtually empty, there's just the lorries and the demented milkfloats (which do not obey the laws of the road) to contend with. This is from personal experience. Bloody milkfloats.
5am Ok, by now even I'm usually thinking, "This is past my bedtime". Time to find a bed (not important who's) and sleep in it. I recommend a bed with lots of duvets as these insulate against both cold and those horrible sounds which idicate the day has started and you should get up and go to your European World (1500–1700) lecture. Or not.