December 15, 2004

Deck The Halls With Bows Of…

Dear Santy Claws,

I have been a very unhinged and emotional girl this year (please read elsewhere in this blog cos I ain't typing it out again) but I have also been a (relatively) good girl. For Christmas I would like you and Rudolph and Donna and Blitzen and Barry and Rigoberto and the other reindeer to bring me:

New Knees Cos I damaged my old ones playing football and I'd had them for ages anyway and I want some new ones cos the Nike Knees 2005 look so cool and I want them in Pale Irish colour to match the rest of my legs.

A Zane Lowe Filter When I'm at work I like to listen to Radio 1 in the evening. They play good songs. But the DJ is very annoying. Please can I have a Zane Lowe Filter so I don't have to put up with him when I'm listening to good songs.

Jen and Jimmy's Greatest Hits 27 1/2 classic tunes and one unnecessary cover of 'House Of The Rising Sun' with a Euro-Disco beat backing track.

A Microwave We need one in our house. As it is we are risking death whenever we reheat food in the oven. Except the vegetarians in the house who only eat stuff which doesn't give you food poisoning.

The List by Sam Boulby Everyone else on the train was reading it and I was feeling illiterate and left out with my copy of 'War and Peace'. I would like the hardback edition so I know I am replacing 'War and Peace' with another book which can be used as a weapon if needs be.

Smaller Feet Size 7 please.

A Nodding Dan These are cool. You put one in your car and he nods up and down and comments on everything instantly! They are cool.

Some Edam I like cheese.

The Other Other Other Natalie Oh come on, I know everyone wants one and they're all selling out (to mysterious guys with goatees it seems) but pleeeeeeeeeeeease can I get one? Everyone would be dead jealous… and I'll be responsible cos an Other Other Other natalie is for life not just for xmas.

A Laser Gun Replacement for my left hand Actually I don't want that but my brain does. Stupid brain…

Thank you Santy and if there's anything I have forgotten I will ask for it from my friends who are real and not just myths based on old saints from years and years ago. Except Niamh who is fictional.

Holly Crooooooz (aged 20 and a bit)

- 19 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. I want a nodding Dan too!

    I'm afraid Natalie is all mine though, Holly. I can see why you'd want one on account of her being sexy and amazing, but I don't think there's enough of her to go round…

    15 Dec 2004, 00:34

  2. Mathew Mannion

    Can't me and Holly get a replica?

    15 Dec 2004, 02:28

  3. That is a very cool list of totally sensible and/or desirable things to have! I didn't realise how much was missing from my life til I read this!

    15 Dec 2004, 10:17

  4. I'll swap you me for the Zane Lowe filter.

    15 Dec 2004, 11:08

  5. Nodding Dan's will soon be available from my online store, along with copies of my autobiography, t-shirts with my face on and special Dan's Hair wigs for all your nights out on the town.

    15 Dec 2004, 11:15

  6. Mmm, Natalie or the Zane Lowe Filter, I really want both that's the thing. Mmm, as it's early in the day (it is) I'd surrently favour a OON but as evening wears on and I ahve to listen to the radio at work tos top me going nuts I would prefer a ZLF. Decisions…

    15 Dec 2004, 12:45

  7. Dan, you shit! You misplaced an apostrophe not once but twice in your last comment. This kind of error is unforgivable. I'm going to have to shoot you now.

    15 Dec 2004, 12:52

  8. Mathew Mannion

    Why don't you do that in public? I've never walked into a VGDS meeting to a scream of "Dan, you shit!

    15 Dec 2004, 13:01

  9. Niamh (not Real)

    holly you swore to me dude…SWORE. do i mean ANYTHING to you???eh??why have you blwon my cover as being fictional on a freaking PUBLIC FORUMTHANKS A LOT HOLLY.. yeh that's right i'm talking to you you ugly yella no good keista which i want you to get right off my property before i pump your guts full of weedimmuneseagullsheepbirds. this may not be completely true. or real.

    15 Dec 2004, 15:03

  10. I actually's did that deliberately' to pis's you off 'Sam's Boubly.

    15 Dec 2004, 17:56

  11. He should change his surname to Boubly, because Boulby reminds me too much of Pokemon

    15 Dec 2004, 19:00

  12. Your Zane Lowe comment is soooooooooo true – was listening to Radio 1 earlier and literally had to turn it down because his voice is so bloody annoying!!!!!

    15 Dec 2004, 21:30

  13. I just got the title… I'm getting slow in my old age.

    16 Dec 2004, 16:31

  14. hey
    not to be too much of a pedant and yes, i know i dont know you, but wasn't the original christmas carol "deck the halls with boughs…"?
    sorry for uselessly commenting. i will return to my cave…

    16 Dec 2004, 21:34

  15. he's right…

    16 Dec 2004, 22:17

  16. I am not surprised as I can't spell.

    Still is better than "Deck the halls with bowels of Holly" as someone I live with suggested…

    16 Dec 2004, 23:28

  17. I fancy some bowels as decorations this year…

    16 Dec 2004, 23:43

  18. holly, you can definitely get a copy from james and me; i just started re-recording some tracks and i came up with a great euro-pop back beat…now i just need to layer 'sprinkle sprinkle tinkle car' over the top, add some backing vocals and mixdown….

    18 Dec 2004, 01:37

  19. Rock and indeed roll…

    And oi, Donohoe get a fecking blog. Do it. Do it now. Don't make me come after you with a stick again, you fictional eejit.

    18 Dec 2004, 01:49

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