All entries for Thursday 18 August 2005

August 18, 2005

Mon Frere

Yes!

As we drown now in a sea of headlines proclaiming that the A level results rise is the result of dumbing down for the idiot generation, I have decided to declare age war.

Old people who complain about A level results, pay attention!

  • We, the young, get better grades because we are smarter than you.
  • We, the young, get better grades because we are inherently superior coming, as we do, from a more advanced stage of human evolution.
  • We, the young, get better grades because we don't really remember the 1980s and aren't still in shock form what was considered fashion then.
  • We, the young, get better grades because we are all, permanently connected to the internet by broadband and have absorbed all knowledge, ever.
  • We, the young, get better grades because we like accumulating letters more, hence all our ASBOs.
  • We, the young, get better grades because we are being taught by you and if you think you're so smart then maybe you're smartness has translated into good teaching and that's helping us?
  • We, the young, get better grades because we have more exams,under more pressure than anyone ever in the universe, from an early age. It's called practise.
  • We, the young, get better grades because we have more shoes.
  • We, the young, get better grades because we you brought us up and this is your fault.

  • We, the young, get better grades because it pisses off the old, especially in fuddy-duddy Rightist newspapers, that anyone who is young can possibly achieve anything, and we want to stand and laugh as you scramble around looking for whatever pathetic excuses you can to stave off your impending and utter obsolescence.

Well done to my brother who got his uni place today. Ignore the doubters, they're just jealous.

"Because all they know is how to put you down... Cos you know what they mean, they're just jealous, cos they'll never do the things that they that they could do so well"
Razorlight 'Golden Touch'


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