All entries for Monday 16 October 2006

October 16, 2006

A Solution To The Axis Of Evil

Right, so North Korea announces it has the nuclear option and the whole world shits itself. Iran says it doesn’t and the whole world America shakes its fist at Iran telling it to disarm the weapons Iran says it hasn’t got. But as Iraq is the only member of the Axis of Evil which has so far being invaded then it is safe to conclude that it was the only one which definitely did not have nukes. Therefore what do we do about the North Korean nukes which they say they have and the Iranian nukes we say they have?

I really don’t think people have thought the whole thing through, to be honest. We are here, worrying about potential crises on two fronts (and remember, no matter what Bush comes up with, godless communists and Islamic fundamentalists are unlikely to be best friends) when really the answer is quite simple.

Venus flytraps.

If you left venus flytraps alone they’d no doubt evolve into venus humantraps and eat us. Likewise, flies are pissing annoying. But by setting them against each other we are safe, the flytraps cannot evolve, and the flies are gone. The world is safe because we set our enemies against each other. Therefore all we need do it distribute the following leaflets around Iran and North Korea and the problem will solve itself:

Obviously there might be consequences with nuclear bombs and fall out and stuff like that, but the principle behind this plan isn’t too shabby!

If you have any other foreign affair issues which need sorting, just let me know!

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