All entries for Monday 03 April 2006

April 03, 2006

Hollyzone vs The Hippies

And the moshers, and the scallies, and the touts, and the rockers, and the metalheads.

Argh, I knew it wouldn't be easy when I heard Glastonbury was on hiatus. In the Glasto years it's quite easy, you get your Leeds tickets at your leisure because most middle class twats only go to one festival a year and would rather go to Glastonbury than risk having their posh tents burned down in the last night at Leeds infernos. Also Leeds tickets go on sale earlier so whilst people dither and try to get Glasto tickets, the Leeds lovers get our tickets and wait for the deluge of desperate types who failed to get passes to Michael Eavis's party. Except there is no Glasto this year, and Radiohead ensured that V sold out instantly, so the hordes have descended onto the Leeds/Reading festival. This made getting a ticket this year quite a bad experience…

Firstly I hate it when webpages won't load and phone calls are to engaged numbers. It makes me mad. So when both are occurring at the same time, one clasped to one ear and my free hand tapping the refresh button like the metronomic beat of a New Order drummer (um, Stephen Morris, ex-resident of Northwich where I went to school (we're all connected)), it can drive an impatient soul like me to a mild form of psychosis.

More fun is when you grind your way through the slow webpages to the bit where you input actual personal details. This is when many lose their nerve, turning into gibbering wrecks, forgetting their mission, and dissolving into a heap in the corner wondering if the Twatside Jazz Festival is still not sold out yet (clue: no chance). Now is the moment to really concentrate, and is also the moment when your computer is 37 times more likely to die, suffer a powercut, or generally resign and join the Liberal Democrats' local elections campaign as Mark Oaten's personal singer-songwriter. This has actually happened!

Fortunately mine did none of these things.

What did happen was much worse. Firstly the website refused to accept that my cash card existed. No amount of telling the truth, or indeed lying, about the issue number, cardholder name or card number proper, could persuade it that it was really me and my card. Eventually I decided to use my other card which is accepted… well, it claimed it did, then it redirected me to the mainpage without any indication if I had a ticket or not. So I tried on another site which (after more soul draining refreshing) claims to have sold me a ticket. Whether it has or not is uncertain as I have had no comfirmation email and might not for another 471 years. If then.

So I might have no tickets, one ticket or two tickets. Or more. Or less. I might have negative tickets. And all that farting around took over an hour and a half.

There were tickets on sale on ebay before I even had mine. On ebay! That is fucking sick and ridiculous. Someday soon this touting must be made illegal or it will kill live music for those who like it and benefit from it the most – the young.

So currently the list of people I hate is:

  • Anyone who sells tickets because you and your systems suck and give either false info, no info or shit info.
  • Touts. Die, die horribly and die now. You have no right to profit in this way, it hurts the music fans and if they get turned off then a lot of bands will be screwed and this country's live music culture (which is strong and admirable) will be irreperably damaged.
  • One festival a year types. Not those who do one festival through financial or other reasons, I mean those who swank up to a festival, moan about the toilets rather than getting on with it, and who go to no other concerts at all and never had any intention of doing so. You poison to atmosphere.
  • The media. Easy target I suppose. Stop hyping things till after I have my tickets (hahaha).
  • Hippies. Just because.

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