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March 07, 2006

Media Node

I'm sitting here with four tabs open in Firefox, a couple of chats going, my phone just went – and I wonder for a moment: how did students procrastinate before mobiles and internet access?

I think I would probably drink more and spend a considerably larger amount of time having sex. Four of five hours a day online equates to a lot more shags on a daily basis. Hm.

Maybe I'd even work.

… chortle.

February 04, 2006

goddamn you FHM, goddamn you.

Writing about web page

i mean, what the hell.

just. god, i'm inarticulate with indignance.

what a crock of shit.

no wonder celebrities get an inflated sense of how good looking they are, and no wonder internet males have such incredible, insane standards of beauty. there are only a couple of men on there, and neither of them were really altered, but most of these women look like monsters.


November 01, 2005

things ain't what they used to be.

Writing about web page

i was – am – idly surfing the net in a funk of hungover blues (the kind which start with 'oh god i'm never going to drink again, shit, where's my watch – my rings – my trousers; bollocks' and end with 'this is my final and ultimate truth: i am a horrible human being and should probably just get the next train out of here, change my name and live in a cave, but i am so worthless that i cannot go further than three feet before i stumble over a pile of clothes which i left on the floor because I SUCK'), when i remembered the simple joy of boneheaded scientific experimentation.

thus, friends, did my mind turn to the glory days of thespark. people like okcupid just fine, and students worldwide offer thanks to the internet gods for sparknotes in their moments of sweaty, shaking-like-a-shitting-dog pre-exam/essay panic - but since the demise of thespark itself, websites without an essential purpose have generally gone downhill. what other site could just be with such grace and wit as thespark did?

so! for those of you who were perhaps not privy to the wonder that was this collection of half-arsed ideas and amusing uses of clipart, i present the current resting places of as many of the articles as i can remember:

you should probably start with stinkymeat. this was followed of course by stinkyfeet, proving that the best kind of science is the kind that rhymes. most of the other projects are also available there. have i forgotten any? i fear so. oh, and the tests are variously available at okcupid and sparknotes.

it's kind of cute that there's internet nostalgia which isn't just about who was online the earliest and weren't BBS groups better than this shit and oh my god, yes i did so join before you. fuckers.

July 02, 2005

do the right thing

ah, there's so much been said about live 8. thing is – say it loud, like bob, with swearing, like snoop dogg, or slyly in the pub if you're a student afraid of seeming – gasp! – political, it's pretty much a good idea. it's a monumental event. it's global, unifying, uplifting. i've been watching the music all day and singing along, and yes, crying again when they show the harrowing, harrowing footage of the children starving. and maybe i'm just another ponce with a wristband, lazing about in my living room, but there's a spark of belief and a glitter of hope that this might all do some good.

join the rally. every voice helps. add yours.

on the non- side [just non-, the non- that one becomes one's whole self once you get home and realise that all your friends are somewhere else and you have no money and bedtime is suddenly enforced by the whole house going dark at 11pm and the only distraction is reclining in one's shades and dressing gown, drinking absinthe – sipping – and scowling], today i looked after lois. she taught me the sign language to amarillo. i may make a photo entry giving the instructions because it's very good fun. i'm going to be forcing you all to learn it from me the second i see you again. my sister is cool.

alright, peace out.

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