All entries for March 2005

March 26, 2005

it has occured to me

sonic, tails and knuckles probably play soggy biscuit all the time, and tails always loses.

'why me, sonic? this isn't what friends do! no, not the biscuit!'

March 22, 2005

oh what a beautiful morning

today, i fear, is not going to be my day.

i woke up at 6:20 in a hotel room. don't fret, this isn't going to be some chuck-like story about finding a dismembered hooker in the bath, just a hanish story of confusion and what happens when a student has to – gulp – rise early.

i then went back to sleep and slept through my morning call, but woke up when my mother rang my phone [which was, bizarrely enough, on silent]. this was at 7:15. i rushed about, falling into my clothes and trying to ignore my puffy face in the many mirrors. the pants i'd conscientiously washed the previous night and placed on the towel rail were still fairly wet; the 'CAUTION! HOT!' sign above the rail obviously meaning to deceive me. i put them on and danced about the room a bit.

breakfast was rushed. i ordered tea and sat down, got up and got cereal, sat down, started eating and smelled [i'm tired – is that how you spell smelled? argh] the cup of liquid they'd placed at my side [which looked suspiciously like coffee]. i realised with a sinking heart that my bag and coat were gone from the floor beside my legs, which was swiftly followed by the realisation that they were at the next table along and i had my nose in someone else's coffee and was eating with someone else's spoon. i crawled back to my own table.

the cereal was a wash, so i moved onto the hot breakfast. there was only one ketchup left and in defiance of the people lined up behind me [and to soothe my bruised ego after the table confusion incident] i took it, and strode determinedly back to my table. the ketchup packet proved bastardly to get into, and when i did squeeze some out it flew across my table in a stream and possibly all over the back of a bloke sitting near me [i kept my eyes down, finished my orange juice, cut my losses and left].

the taxi driver spoke only in riddles, telling me about the fair that had recently arrived on the common; it was a crock-fair in the 1960s, he said, but every time he repeated the old term he seemed to drop the 'r' and i clutched the strap of my bag tightly to me and made understanding noises when he moved on to talk about his marriages.

so, after a night away i return to this den of poo, slightly queasy and just waiting for someone to come and fix this house so i can do the work that is the sole purpose for me remaining here. that's that.

March 20, 2005

jesus II: the second coming

basically, the drains are buggered, there is water – questionable water – flooding the back garden, i can't use the sink, shower or toilet and i can't do any washing.

being housingly retarded is one thing, but leaving a housingly retarded person alone when she is too stupid to realise that the detergent is not rinsing out of her washing and the bath is taking forever to drain and the toilet won't fill and the sink smells and THERE IS FOUR INCHES OF WATER IN HER BACK GARDEN… that's just unfortunate.

and stupid. and it's going to cost money, irritatingly enough, which is not something i have any of.

so, to my auntie's house!

March 19, 2005

data dump

  1. go to the circus, it's actually fun – and crudely sexual, manipulative and slightly smelly. there were people on rollerskates.
  2. i think i have another dose of that cold.
  3. megatokyo is actually getting good again. damn.
  4. i have an i-station now. it is my little baby. i'm thinking of taking pictures of it in a blanket. i'm hoping to get a DS and somehow breed them to create something sentient.
  5. been drinking too much.
  6. i'm going to birmingham.
  7. end.

March 15, 2005



i'm 21.

no more excuses.

March 13, 2005

the spoils of a childhood spoilt

although i have not yet turned 21 – roll on tuesday! aheh – i have garnered a wonderful haul of presents. adding to the ones from my lovely university buddies, my parents have now furnished me with my Special 21st Birthday Watch, which is pretty bling, the complete delia's how to cook [rick – we shall be eating well next term; apparently you can stuff brioche with scrambled eggs and smoked salmon without invoking the apocalypse], and a powder blue hangbag shaped like a watering can [golly, really, is all one can say to that, and it's not as cool as the one i wanted, but it makes me look horticultural and that's a first].


being in the house has its drawbacks. the toilets are a different height, so every bathroom visit is scored by a single yelp as i half-fall onto the bowl. bedtime is much earlier, the house is shut up and silent by ten and i am left to wander it like a ghost. most annoyingly, sunday dinner is delicious but does not come with the requisite five helpings of stuffing. ah well. the internet is speedy and the computers are virus-free, it's warm and clean and we have big tvs with satellite, and joy, coleslaw in the fridge. and cake. time for cake!

March 10, 2005

oh, the filth, the filth


i have such a hangover.

firstly, thank you to everyone who came, i had a great time and those of you who got costumed up looked FAB. thanks to anyone who got off with me, sorry about that. heehee. thanks to sarah for coming from oxford, you rocked that little dress baby, you knows it. and thanks to whatever bastard invented corsetry, i love and hate you. a special mention to jack daniels, also.

check out blogs over the next couple of days for pictures. and keep your hands where i can see them.

March 08, 2005




brought to you by the heavy heavy monster sound (the nuttiest sound around):

(i know people never go places til about 10, but seriously – it closes at 12 and i live in cov so there is NO after-party, and when i say)
8pm – 12 midnight
(i really mean turn up at nine, not ten, okay?)

so if you know me, which you most likely do, come along. i will be most glad to see you. especially film studies people! you know who you are, because you were born that way!

the theme is filth, and it is optional, but i am hoping to see some of the many things we listed here a while ago. dress up and let's have a mad one!

… and relax.

March 06, 2005

remember ember ember

it's my birthday party on wednesday. still not sure where it's going to be, but get thine asses to it, pronto. even if you don't really know me – reply to this entry with something marvellous and i shall welcome you into my fold [ew].

the bathroom:

do i bathe? dare i brave the bathroom?
should i cave – and seek the steam therein?
my skin enflamed! seeks the bubbling waters
of a green and pink bath
which reeks of cillit bang
not a place you'd let your daughter in.

the toothpaste stains ring the sad remainder
of the rolled up tube upon the shelf
the bin with tissues frilled reeks of danger
naked toilet rolls around the loo
a cold and heartless place to take a poo
for the toilet roll has long since hung itself.

March 2005

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