All entries for February 2005

February 24, 2005

the pursuit of hunterness

HELLO WARWICK

::TAP TAP::

IS THIS THING ON?

i'm frankly reviled. how can i approach seven people – my housemates, though fragrant, are included in this SHAMEFUL tally – and have nary a one of them recognise the name of the greatest journalist who ever lived – hunter s thompson?

hunter

s

thompson

!

he killed himself. he wrote fear and loathing, cut the american dream to shreds, existed on a diet of rum, drugs and cigars, invented gonzo journalism and generally lived about five lifetimes in his one. he was amazing and now he's gone.

on an entirely unrelated note, dammit, joel lost out on the money on brainteaser today. a shocker indeed!


February 19, 2005

small times..?

i think i may have been on the road to small times today, but yea and verily, the path was blocked by dirt and debris, and so with heavy heart and half-empty lunchbox didst i embark upon the cleaning of the living room.

and then, like a beacon of questionable stereotypes and ill-concieved narrative, the mr magoo movie came on. and there was much rejoicing.

how many times can i watch the breakfast club without getting sick of it? lots. how many times can i go to bed and attempt to sleep without fixing the bedstead? oh, lots.

i'm going to start drinking now. there's an ice-cream i shouldn't have eaten lying low in my laden stomach which i would like to get reacquainted with.


February 18, 2005

just because this is so stupid

internet for the new age: .om
internet for bush: .bomb
internet for jedis: .womwomwom
internet for pirates: .rum
internet for radiohead nerds: .thom
internet for birmingham: .brum

yessir.


February 17, 2005

i am generous

i have a lot of gmail invites to give out, so if you want a gmail account [and believe me, you do], drop me a comment. i'm so ill and bored.

February 14, 2005

GOOD GOD GIRL

Follow-up to heh from Tilting At Windmills

now the pictures are up [including a very fetching 'after' shot {CUonchubbs
inleftofframecarefullydisplaingbooksinbackgroundtoemphasiseintelligence ahem ahem essay tourettes leads to messy parentheses}], i must say this is a delicious shade of pink. it's a good job i like it, because it's all over the house now.

i am also inspired to change my hair colour again. it's been something resembling normal for a while now – and i say, a while is too long. so, blue?


February 13, 2005

heh

just found another use for cillit bang [the power of advertising forced me to part with three quid for it last week]... getting copious amounts of pinkness off the bathroom. it's a very sexual experience, watching a damp chubbs cleaning the bathroom with a showerhead. it is important to ignore the slightly pink hue everywhere, because only the sqeueaky cleanest of minds wouldn't think of bloodsports [nudge nudge].

heh, rachel got cillit banged in the face.

cillit

BANG!


February 12, 2005

we formed a band

at PJ's party, we were getting really small with it. like, dancing really small. getting our asses whipped, falling over, doin' singins, doin' drinkins, rocking the house with mixmaster rick… we shouted loudly in the car on the way home and held hands and generally were really friends, which is a good thing, because sometimes we don't all have the best time at once, and you know – when it happens all in one go it can be MAGIC.

so.

i'm partying a lot and generally getting emo about stuff. no emo! that shit is wack. yes. but, we have decided on a theme for my party [which is the party we want to have at breeze but haven't organised yet, because hey, we suck]: filth. on the ticket will be written:

butts
boobs
chaps
whips
feathers
leather
glitter
pimps
buckles
belts
bling
zips
laces
braces
boas
tits
bondage
corsets
boots
bitches
wigs
gimps
gags
sitches
lipstick
pvc
handcuffs
macs
tattoos
piercings
punk
black
strippers
vicars
not much worn
doctors
nurses
pirates
porn
crosses
vices
deadly sins
veils
rubber
needles
pins
slaves
masters
blood
dirt
grime
put it all together and we'll have a good time

which is, coincidentally, my shopping list for the week.


February 10, 2005

when will the novelty wear off?

i like numbers. i count them off on my big toes. you'll find that, without realising it, most sentences i tend to write have an even amount of letters in them. sometimes you need to count punctuation, but the rules for including the occasional cheeky comma or saucy little apostrophe are many. i don't like to have to count full stops: they're not countable unless the sentence is really uneven (that's different from odd). when i get anxious or am in deep thought, watch my feet – they'll be working away, my own personal abacus.

i'm going to have a shower and go out. i have to stop counting things on my toes.

the princess bride is not only wonderful, it's even. it's five for five, although i don't like the number five; these baseball expressions are creeping into my lexicon more than the dreaded soda, or the even more dreadful 'it's all well and good'. kill me if you hear me say that.

okay, so i'm going… now.


February 09, 2005

instant circus

i just bought a lime and then had to buy a bottle of pimm's to go with it.

i don't know who i am anymore. for a while i thought i was elizabeth berkeley, but then i realised i don't have divots in my asscheeks and i've never had a fit on kyle maclachlan's lap [what a stupid non-helpful-spellingy name he has].

in order to save my soul [but not, alas, my sanity, nor my nonexistent internet dignity] we then took pictures of ourselves making an instant circus. they are a ballerina on a horse, a monkey on a motorbike and a lion on a plinth. they grew in water and now they are living little spongey existences on our mantlepiece, along with two skulls, a headless boy, a fez, a pirate costume, a blunderbuss, bubble mixture and other assorted detritus of student living.

that's me in the shirt. i'm not that fat really, it's my dad's shirt. that is, however, my face. sadly. and my teeth are all my own, also sadly.

last night was a tip top clubbin' jam fair, a sandwich of fun on exstacy bread all wrapped up in a bag like disco fudge...

i'm going to have a pimm's. vive la revolucion.


my next door neighbours are wailing

seeing as blogs are pointless in general and focus on the events of the day, i have to say that my thighs are sore, i had mash for tea and now adrienne and i are going to sainsbury's to find another olsen twins video. then we might watch showgirls.

current events... current events... what do you think about current events, daisy? oh, current events? i... like them. i think they're quite good.

do i bore you? how about this: i'm reading the princess bride, drinking too much pop [i've been berated so often for calling it soda that i now flinch outwardly and type 'p-o-p' with a hangdog expression on my pitiful face] and dancing around the house in a pair of socks, shirt and shades, a la tom cruise in risky business.

a schlep in the fasche wit a tittie

WHACK BUNDY!


February 2005

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