All entries for December 2005

December 16, 2005

christmas party

the christmas party was great! be honest it was the first time I have had such social activity in uk during my entire study years.

It was the first time that my course director attend and had fun with us, and first time that I hang out with none-chinese classmates. (dont call me discrimination but I never hag out with local classmates before in newcastle. either they were not interested, or I thought they ae too wide…haha)

I remember when I was in switzerland I hang out with my German teacher and llclassmates for babecue events, such great memory. and I am glad that our EEE course is a small group, there is no gangs or paty separation, no others gossip around your back…..

I feel very happy since I study at warwick, and started te course. I have to say the course is quite difficult for me and a bit intensive. but being good and study hard supposed to be criteria fr every good student isnt it? we study together, cook together, go to sport centre together, shopping together…we learn from each other, not only the academic things butalso social things.

to all my classmates: today we might feel a bit hard and difficult in this subject, but in th future when we look back, all of these would become the most beautiful trousure of memories. whatever harsh we are fcing at this moment, just lead us to understand, what is bitter from the sweet.

All the best to our master degree!!!

December 05, 2005

the falling angel

Heaven is still highly in the sky,
No one knows what happened there,
But today I met a beauty in the yard,
The falling angel.

I ask why she falt,
She said all because of love,
Since sheíve loved a man here,
She canít find herself.
She drawed his picture in a frame,
She went to the earth everyday.
But God knew this got angry,
So he drove her away.
She lost her wings for fly,
She felt down from the sky,
She canít find her lover,
The falling angel cried.

Angel, please donít cry,
In this world thereíre so many guys.
Put your hands on your heart,
How much you could bear mind

Love takes time,
Love canít only depend on outside,
Love needs understanding,
Love is endless wide.
Love built up with truth,
Love built up with heart,
Love built up with fate,
Love built up with faith.

She tried to understand,
Maybe itís too deep for her,
But if she loves a human,
She must clear the entity of love.
My falling angel,
I know youíre not happy,
I know love is difficult,
I know you canít fly without wings,
But I know you can survive.

Sometimes love would be denied,
Sometimes love would be destroyed,
Sometimes you canít choose your life,
Sometimes tears couldnít impress his mind.

My falling angel was surprised,
She never knew what is the price,
Iíd rather hurt you to tell you the truth,
Better than I lie you that love is so wonderful.
Think about that, my falling angel,
What you need and what you want,
Love is beautiful because it canít last forever,
Let the experience become memory,
Maybe you could see the immortality.

She said good-bye and gone,
I never seen her again.
Maybe she is back to heaven
Maybe she is still in the earth,
Maybe she is still alone
Maybe she found her lover.
But Iíd never forget her beautiful eyes,
Sparkling with sunshine.
My falling angel.

every time I close my eyes

Itís not that I couldnít find someone else
Itís just that I couldnít cheat my heart.
Since you step into my life,
I couldnít let you go.

Itís not that I couldnít leave you
Itís just that I never want to try.
If my life without your love
There is no difference between day and night.

Every time I close my eyes
What I see is your smile
What I hear is your whisper
Thank you for staying in my life.

Every time I close my eyes
What I want is forever by your side
What I wish is our love
Could stand with stars shining in the sky.
Itís not that Iím such a weak woman,
Itís just that I fall in love too deep,
My dream is when I open my eyes everyday,
Tell you I love you face to face.

Itís not that Iím such romantic,
Itís just that I get all inspiration from you,
Life is so wonderful,
Since I can be with you.

Every time I close my eyes,
What I miss is your love,
What I pray is you can back,
What I read is my blue heart,
What I think of is only you,
What I dream is staying in your arms,
What I say is to this world,
What I have is only you enough.

I could live on loving you

My inspiration from you, my love
As the sparkling stars,
Highly in the sky,
Burning and splendid,
Even the moon couldnít open her eyes.

My inspiration from you, my heart
As the brimstone in the earth,
Even all the mighty ocean water,
Couldnít extinguish my love.
I could live on loving you,
With my heart and my truth,
Till the mountain become flat,
Till all the seas go dry,
Till the world devoured.

I could live on loving you,
With my soul and my faith,
Iíll be loving you still,
Even the rocks melt by the sun
Iíll be there for you still,
Till the sands OĎlife shall run.

novel–sword of the legend(to be continued)

smoky rain:

Actually I donít care fame. My value is not estimated by others, but my self esteem only. Fame and fortune is nothing for me, my desire is peace for this world, everyone has happy life, and I could get rid of all these worries and suffers.

But my dream didnít come true, because not everyone agrees my dream. Peace for me is paradise but for some people are just dust; the fame and fortune are the only thing they desire. So in this mortal world, too many greedy people, make up this situation.

Everyone wish to be a emperor, every one wish to have power and fortune. But such things are illusion; we could not take them away when we leave this world. They all broke the rules of killing, greed, forever tossing and turning in the mortal world. Maybe, this is what they truly wish.

I feel anxious so I left the room. Moonlight as water shine, I hold my sword ďchasing windĒ and pull it up. Sword body is sharp and shining, seems melt with the moonlight. Yes, I do have the sword in legend, I am in the chaos world now, but who is the one to change all these? Or perhaps, this world never has real peace from the first beginning.

I put the sword back, and I feel cold, and lonely. Yes, loneliness, something follows you as your shadow, talks to you all the time. Someone said, you feel lonely because you are lost, you are lost because you donít understand your heart what you desire. Where is my path? Where I should belong to? I left my home and my country actually looking for what? Do I just want to prove myself, or there is something deep inside my heart, leading me to walk step by step, towards the unknown destiny?

I am walking in the street, looking at the view. Raining as smoke, fog cover the whole city. Why people like war? Why people care about fame and fortune, lost in the mortal? The golden moment Tang dynasty is gone, now only left a legend, a memory.

This world, alive, death, sickness, aging, love apart, hate gather, desire could not acquire, happiness, anger, sorrowÖ. every thing just make human being lost more and more in the karma. Obsessed to fame is greedy, obsessed to alive is silly, obsessed to so called justice is angerÖ. All of these form a ridiculous mortal world.

Pearl white:

My Dad is a wealthy landlord in Chang An, he is such a generous person, always helping for building bridges, helping for starving seasons, painting gold for Buddha, regular donation every month. however, when the tang dynasty fade, such good person is pass away too, and my mom could not take this suffer, she pass away shortly following my Dad. So, I become a orphan. Call to mind, super rich wealth could not bring back my whole family, palace is not safer than the little cottage I am living. What I had before gone with wind suddenly, so ironic.

My cousin knew I am alone now, he said: let me take care of you. I could not see any sorrow from his eyes, maybe he is used to death and alive such things so become indifferent now. Perhaps I get him wrong, because that night, I saw him crying under a tree, for a long long time. I think my cousin may feel very guilty, because he wander around these 10 years, left his home, only contact by letters. Now the family is gone, he wish to take care, but his parents are not there any more. I wish to know if being a great guy could not cry in front of others? What a horrible torture it is?

chasing wind:

I am an old sword, a legend sword, made in 700 ago. I could not remember who made me, but I am his pride. 700 years is tiny as dust in this universe, but for human being is such a legend.

Every time I think of my young master, my broken heart has pain. When she died in his arms, I still remember it so clearly, time flies, already 300 years pass by. Yes, 300 years, she and he missed each other in the karma so many times, when their vow Ē we missed this life, we will meet again next timeĒ, this waiting is 300 years already.

If that moment I was a sword with a soul, now I am already a so called supreme sword, the sword of legend. A supreme sword, just has longer history than others, just kill more people than others, just owned by famous people than others. No one cares if I like this title, no one cares if I want to save the world. And I donít care neither, since that moon night 300 years ago, I donít care at all now. I donít even care, people gave me a new name: chasing wind. I know my heart is still the sword in my young masterís eyes: smoke cloud.

When the Tang golden dynasty faded, the world became chaos. I donít care such thing. But 25 years ago, when the nine dragon master saved a babe, I feel my heart is trembling again. Yes, it is him! I donít know if this is thrilled or up sad full of my heart, because after 300 years, he and my young master, eventually meet again, in this chaos world. So I made up my mind, this life, I wish them happy forever!

So that guy grew up gradually, I saw his kind heart, and I also saw his mystified mind. An incomplete soul how to see through the path? And my unique young master, this life, she became a wealthy lady, far away from those killing, isnít it a good thing?

My young master, you and that guy have been waiting for each other 300 years , looking for the lost part of each other, lost in the mortal world, so this life, let me help you live together happy ever after! Your biggest bliss is mine! When you are waiting for someone, I have been waiting for you as well. Although I am just a sword, I did wait for you all the time!

novelette –maple red and smoke cloud

Maple red and smoke cloud

I know Kongfung; more specific I am actually a swordswoman. I do kill people, but they are all bad people, they deserve the death. They hurt innocence, they rob and cruel, so I use their blood to feed my sword. Sometimes I will accept the missions from government to chase suspects, and use my rewards to help others who need helps. My sword is my company since I was little; itís the only present left from my father. My father taught me Kongfung, also justice in order to be a good person. My sword is a legend, it was made in 400 years ago, called unknown sword. Sword must have a name, so I name it as ďsmoke cloudĒ.

I am a sword of legend, made in 400 years ago, I could not remember who made me, but I am certainly his pride. 400 years time for this universe is just tiny as sand, however for human being, itís legend. I fight in battles; I took peopleís life over in Jianghu.

I have to declare for myself, I was not born to drink blood, but as a sword, being bloody is inevitable. My last master was a noble self-discipline man; he not only was a good swordsman, but also a highly recommended good person. Unfortunately he died because of his honesty and trusted the wrong person, how pathetic. His daughter, my present master is a young lady, pretty as fairy lady, elegant as lotus for me. I never seen her smiles, maybe because of her fatherís experience; she looks so impossible to approach. Nevertheless I understand her truly, her cold appearance contains a revenge heart, burning as fire, even burns my soul.

I adore my young master; she has the heritage from her father as a good person, and has beautiful eyes. Her eyes are so bright and shining, seems she could see through this world. Every time when she looks at my sparkling sword body, I thought she is looking at a beloved. Itís a shame that no matter how legend I am, I am just a sword, could never let her understand how I feel from her. My young master named me as ďsmoke cloudĒ, but I love her name: ďmaple redĒ.

I hold this 500 gold reward from the government in hand; I really want to take a break. I am tired for so many years wandering outside my home. However I could not sleep well until I could avenge for my father. I know that man is an officer with high reputation now, but this only made me hate him even more. If justice still exists in this world, my sword is the best proof. One day I will let smoke cloud drink his blood! And I will take my sword to a brand new place, faraway from the past. Itís weird though, sometimes I feel smoke cloud is alive. I know it is just a sword, but seems it understands my heart.

Today my young master arrived the capital city, and we knew where that bad guy lives. In the inn she clean the dust from my sword body, I appreciate it. Actually I am always clean, but she still likes doing that all the time. Her gentle touch made my heart trembling, also trembling my sword body too. I wish I could be a real human being, and then I could look into her eyes. Her bright eyes reflect my sparkling and sharp, but I am just a sword. Unlikely to human being I never hide my feeling, I will not keep the secret and sentiment deep inside when facing my beloved. I am glad to show my sparkle, also my soul, if only she could feel it, I could give her everything. My young master has many secrets, such as grief, loneliness, sorrow, and a lonely heart, which longs for being loved. Pity that I could not give what she wants; in fact I cannot give her anything, I cannot even comfort her sorrow. So I could only work with her by my reaction, I am her best mate, and I would never betray her, never ever.

Today I tried to assassinate that man, unexpectedly there is a good bodyguard protecting him. He is the famous guy in Jianghu with his knife, called ďfire unicornĒ. We fight for a while and none of us beat each other, but it doesnít mean I will lose. As the old saying, grief army must win the battle. I come for the revenge, fire unicorn only works for him, so I know I could win. I have no fear to death, also I have my swordís sharp. A fearless person with a legend sword, there is no man could escape. I will be back, at that time, I will let fire unicorn realise I will be the winner.

Today my young master was wounded, not seriously but still bleeding. Although I taste blood all the time, when I saw her blood I just feel the pain in my heart. My body could not feel any pain, but my heart could. That fire unicorn is really good at Kongfung, hurt my young master like this. I donít know why I have a funny idea that she just kept her strength. In the moment I was almost stabbing his chest, I could feel her hand shaking. As it never happened before, my young master held me back. I could tell her heart is no longer quiet as water now, instead something dropped into a pond. Fire unicornís knife is a legend knife too, when the moment we touch each other, it told me fire unicorn also distracted by something so he missed the target. I just wondering, is it what human being called- first sign love?

Today I dress up as dancer came to that guyís house. Itís a good opportunity to assassinate him. This lustful man must require me to stay with him along, and then I could just kill him. When I think about it, I am so trilled, also smoke cloud seems feel my happiness, I feel itís trembling now.

My identity was almost discovered by fire unicorn, but he has no evidence to prove I am the assassin, so I still get close with the guy, and entered his room. After I knocked him off, I go to the garden and get my sword.

When my young master holds me in hand, fire unicorn suddenly appeared in front of us, his knife shining as the moonlight. Young master starts fighting with him, so I could hear the knife again: ďmy master is up sad.Ē Up sad? What for? When my young master stares at fire unicorn, I also hear her heart was saying: ďwhy itís you and me? Why?Ē I cannot help myself to feel this grief, because of her heart. I could even hear her soul: ďcouldnít we find another way?Ē

The moon is still shining in the sky, but underneath the moonlight, itís death or alive. Suddenly I taste the blood, which make me excited, but whose blood? I saw the blood in the knife too, they both stabbed each other, warm blood full of my body, but I am so scared than ever.

My young master use me to support her stand, walk slowly back to the room, and chop his head off. Fire unicorn cannot even stand up, he just watching my young master doing everything.

Eventually I avenge for my father! So my father in heaven could have peace from now on. And I approach fire unicorn slowly, drop that disgusting head off. And I fall down, fire unicorn just hold me in his arms. I touch his face and I feel so peaceful. If we cant born in the same day, at least we could die in the same time now. This moment I am so relief, because I avenged, I have fulfilled my task, and I could die in his arms, which I love.

I saw my young master fall down, fire unicorn just held her in arms, looking at her, so emotional, as my young master always looking at me. I am so envy, I am so envy this fire unicorn! She is hurt by him but still so peaceful. I could feel her weak heartbeats are full of happiness. And I saw he kisses her, like the gentle wind in spring. She said: ďfire unicorn, we have not enough fate this life, we can meet again next life.Ē

His tears drop on her face, drop on my body, and I feel pain like being burnt in hell. I love my young master too! I love her! Why, why I am just an unknown sword? Although I have a name from her, I could never have love like a human being.

Fire unicorn whisper: ďyes, yes, we missed this life, we will meet again next time!Ē he held her tighter, I head the knife cry: ďhow deep you fall how sad you have when you apart. In this lonely season, who is staying in this sorrow yard? Even I have so many words wish to tell, who could listen to my heart?Ē

I have been watching their corpses became colder and colder, I hear my heart tore into pieces. I say to the sky: ďin this world everything is the same, when you are waiting for someone, there is someone waiting for you too. Although I am just a sword, I have been waiting for you still! Young master!Ē

From now on, my heart is broken. I am still a legend sword, but marked with scar. Not in my sword body, deep inside my sword heart.

poetry–missing you (for someone special in my life, =^^=)

Missing you

When does life begin

I should believe

The moment we met

When I saw your first sign

When does yearning end

I shall believe

The moment my heartbeat ceases

When the sun never shines again

where does our fate lie

on the path of destiny

So many words deep inside

When you charmed my mind

When you hold my hand

You hold my joyance

When you touch my face

You touch my soul

Missing you day and night

Missing you far beyond the time

you brought back my smile

you flared my light

poetry–reflection of life

So this is all I know

And this is all I could do.

Wondering what could it be tomorrow,

Wondering where should I belong to

Life is full of searching

Searching for what I wish

Life is full of challenges

Sometimes make me feel tired

Life has too much missions

Sometimes make me feel upset

Life is so complicated

I never work out why should we live for

Everyone has different reasons

For me there is long way to go.

The most far away distance is not

That the distance between the sky and earth;

The most far away distance is not

Across Death and alive

The most far away distance is

We love each other but we have to say goodbye





















fate is precious

Love is like the spring wind
Swipe my heart gently
I couldnot wait any longer to see you
A longing heart beats so fast

Time of happiness will be fair
Share the love to every couple
fate is far away from the moon
and approaching me suddenly
bitter from the sweet,
couple love each more

running in the wind with my lover
crying out I have you then I have all
wait for you to say you will
I will certainly reply I will
Never left any regret for love

moonlight just cross the fog

make couple holding each other tighter

they feel in love deeper

some love turn into hate

more love story just impressed much

decorating our lives

Happy potter 4–Goblet of fire

this Saturday I have been to cinema with my fiance to see this Harry Potter 4-Goblet of fire. I am so….disappointed!

I am a big fan of Harry Potter, from 2001 I just went to cinema for every film, but this one is not as good as I expected. my fiance even fall in sleep in the last 20 minutes.

The content for this film is not well designed, also too many points are questioned left. many WHY? HOW? full of my brain, and we have been discussed for half hour still could not find the answers. seems didnt make sense at all! wicked!

at the beginning I thought it's my english problem coz I cannot fully master this language well enough, however my fiance told me even him could not understand the film in his native language. if we could not understand, how the kids could understand??

Harry Potter, as your fame is growing, you have been exaggerated your splendor and glory so far, isnt it a shame?

As Professor snipper said: Fame isnt everything, is it?

December 2005

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