All entries for February 2006

February 24, 2006

socrates talking about breaking up sorrow

  • Socrates walked on the street, saw a young man was very upset there sitting under a tree, he asked: what's wrong young boy?

man: I broke up with my bird friend

S: I see, but that's normal. if you dont feel any sorrow after you broke up, there is no taste at all for this love isnt it? however I think you jump into this droke up sorrow more serious than you were in love.

man: ah, just lost something one step before I almost had it, such pity, such depression, you were not me how could you understand what difficulty I have experienced?

S: lost is lost, there is nothing you could do more. why not move on, there are still many grestness waiting for you.
man:I will be waiting here, until the rock melt by the sun, until the ocean changed into land, until she changed her mind and come back to me.

s: but maybe this day never come.eventually you would just watch her goes more and more further with another guy, there is nothing you could do about it.
man: then I will suecide to show my fidelity!
S: if you really did that, you lost not only your lover but also youself in the same time, you will lose double!

man: How about ruin her life? if I could not have her no one else could either!
S: this only make her run away from you further, but your intention was to get closer to her.
man: then please tell me what should I do? I do really love her!
S: really lover her that much?
man: yes
S: then would you want the person you love have happiness?
man: of course I do!

S: what if she think leaving you is the happiness she could have?
Man: thatís impossible! She said she find her happiness once when she is with me!
S: that was before she used to think, but now she doesnít think so any more.

Man: so, you mean she has been deceiving me all the time?

S: No! she has been faithful to you all the time! When she was loving you she wish to be with you. Now she doesnít love you anymore, therefore she leave you. There is nothing more faithful than this. If she doesnít love you but still pretend she does, even marry you and have kids with you, that is deceive!

Man: but who give me compensation for my lost? I have wasted all my sentiments!

S: oh no no, your sentiment was never wasted, hence compensation never exist. When you give your sentiment she gave hers too, when you brought her happiness she did the same.

Man: But she doesnít love me any more now, I still love her so much! Itís not fair !

S: absolutely not fair at all! I mean to the one you still love now! You have your right to love her, she has her right to love you too. But now you want to use your right in the same time reaving her right! How unfair it is!

Man: but as you see now, I am the one who is suffering, suffering for her!

S: suffering for her? She is happy now, I think you should say you are suffering for yourself! My boy, doing something for yourself but use other excuses, itís not ethics!

Man: so you mean, from the beginning all my fault?

S: well, yes, kind of! If you could bring her the happiness she wont leave you. You should know no one wants to refuse happiness.

Man: what is happiness? I gave her everything! My heart and my soul! You know why she left me? Just because I am poor!

S: you are a very healthy person, why you donít try to get money?
Man: but she didnít even give me a chance! Isnít she evil?

S: of course she is. But fortunately you get rid of this evil person now, you feel happy my child.

Man: Happy? How can I be? After all I was dumped, it made me feel humiliatory.

S: no, young people should only have pride, not humiliation. Remember, being dumped doesnít mean itís not a good thing.
Man: please explain.

S: once I saw an elegant suit in a shop, I llike it so much. When the sales person asked me if I want it , I said: the material is too bad, I donít want it! In fact, just because didnít have any money in my pocket. Young boy, maybe you are that elegant suit.

Man: you are good at comforting people, but you still cannot help me out from the suffer of this break up.

S: Yes, I am sorry that I donít have this capability to help you, but I could recommend a friend who has such capability to you.
Man: who ?

S: time. Time is the greatest mentor of human being. I have seen many many people were suffering by breaking up, it is time who help them to heal their pain, and chose a best partner for them, finally they all deserve the happiness they suppose to have.

Man: I wish I could have that day too. But how should I move my first step?

S: to thank that person who dumped you, and bless her.

msn: Why?

S: because she gave you the fidelity, and gave you a new chance to search your happiness.

After those words Socrates left, and the rest journey should be completed by this suffering young man.

(I wish you could learn something from this dialogue, not only in the love aspect, but also in every aspect in our life time.)

[转帖]苏格拉底谈失恋的哲学

苏格拉底想看看2000年后的不同。
但一来到人间就见到一位年轻人,茶饭不思,精神萎靡,其状甚哀。
苏(苏格拉底):孩子,为什么悲伤?
失(失恋者):我失恋了。
苏:哦,这很正常。如果失恋了没有悲伤,恋爱大概也就没有什么味道。可是,年轻人,我怎么发现你对失恋的投入甚至比对恋爱的投入还要倾心呢?
失:到手的葡萄给丢了,这份遗憾,这份失落,您非个中人,怎知其中的酸楚啊。
苏:丢了就是丢了,何不继续向前走去,鲜美的葡萄还有很多。
失:等待,等到海枯石烂,直到她回心转意向我走来。
苏:但这一天也许永远不会到来。你最后会眼睁睁的看着她和另一个人走了去的。
失:那我就用自杀来表示我的诚心。
苏:但如果这样,你不但失去了你的恋人,同时还失去了你自己,你会蒙受双倍的损失。
失:踩上她一脚如何?我得不到的别人也别想得到。
苏:可这只能使你离她更远,而你本来是想与她更接近的。
失:您说我该怎么办?我可真的很爱她。
苏:真的很爱?
失:是的。
苏:那你当然希望你所爱的人幸福?
失:那是自然。
苏:如果她认为离开你是一种幸福呢?
失:不会的!她曾经跟我说,只有跟我在一起的时候她才感到幸福!
苏:那是曾经,是过去,可她现在并不这么认为。
失:这就是说,她一直在骗我?
苏:不,她一直对你很忠诚。当她爱你的时候,她和你在一起,现在她不爱你,她就离去了,世界上再没有比这更大的忠诚。如果她不再爱你,却还装的对你很有情谊,甚至跟你结婚,生子,那才 是真正的欺骗呢。
失:可我为她所投入的感情不是白白浪费了吗?谁来补偿我?
苏:不,你的感情从来没有浪费,根本不存在补偿的问题,因为在你付出感情的同时,她也对你付出了感情,在你给她快乐的时候,她也给了你快乐。
失:可是,她现在不爱我了,我却还苦苦地爱着她,这多不公平啊!
苏:的确不公平,我是说你对所爱的那个人不公平。本来,爱她是你的权利,但爱不爱你则是她的权利,而你却想在自己行使权利的时候剥夺别人行使权利的自由。这是何等的不公平!
失:可是您看的明明白白,现在痛苦的是我而不是她,是我在为她痛苦。
苏:为她而痛苦?她的日子可能过的很好,不如说是你为自己而痛苦吧。明明是为自己,却还打着别人的旗号。年轻人,德行可不能丢哟。
失:依您的说法,这一切倒成了我的错?
苏:是的,从一开始你就犯了错。如果你能给她带来幸福,她是不会从你的生活中离开的,要知道,没有人会逃避幸福。
失:什么是幸福?难道我把我的整个身心都给了她还不够吗?您知道她为什么离开我吗?仅仅因为我没有钱!
苏:你也有健全的双手,为什么不去挣钱呢?
失:可她连机会都不给我,您说可恶不可恶?
苏:当然可恶。好在你现在已经摆脱了这个可恶的人,你应该感到高兴,孩子。
失:高兴?怎么可能呢,不管怎么说,我是被人给抛弃了这总是叫人感到自卑的。
苏:不,年轻人的身上只能有自豪,不可自卑。要记住,被抛弃的并不是就是不好的。
失:此话怎讲?
苏:有一次,我在商店看中一套高贵的西服,可谓爱不释手,营业员问我要不要。你猜我怎么说,我说质地太差,不要!其实,我口袋里没有钱。年轻人,也许你就是这件被遗弃的西服。
失:您真会安慰人,可惜您还是不能把我从失恋的痛苦中引出。
苏:是的,我很遗憾自己没有这个能力。但,可以向你推荐一位有能力的朋友。
失:谁?
苏:时间,时间是人最伟大的导师,我见过无数被失恋折磨的死去活来的人,是时间帮助他们抚平了心灵的创伤,并重新为他们选择了梦中情人,最后他们都享受到了本该属于自己的那份人间之乐。
失:但愿我也有这一天,可我的第一步该从哪里做起呢?
苏:去感谢那个抛弃你的人,为她祝福。
失:为什么?
苏:因为她给了你份忠诚,给了你寻找幸福的新的机会。说完,苏格拉底走了。留下的路便由这位失恋者自己去走了

(个人从中得到了很多的感悟,苏的话语很令人深思,不仅恋爱是这样,
个人认为有很多事情都可以从中得到借鉴。
每一句哲语对于不同人来说会有不同的启发,希望它能对大家的生活有所启示)*


February 23, 2006

thanks to everyone

Thank you to everyone! to Paul, all my classmates, my friends in china and EU, especially my mom.

cintinuously being depressed and upset are useless for me, and I should move on living happily for people who care me.

I will concentrate on my study from now on, and after graduate I will go back China to live with my mom. during these years I ignored her too much, it's time to be a good daughter.

thanks to everyone again.


some reflections

I dont know if this is true, best students get the hardest problems?? then I wish I am just a normal student, I dont need to experience hardest problems, beside I am not a good student anyway.

I remeber there is a story:

a farmer everyday pass by the jesus status, he said: I wish I could take your place, then you dont need to be hang there so hurt.

oneday Jesus seems heard his word and said: ok, you can take my place, but you must promise you cannot say a word no matter what you see and what you hear.

the farmer agreed, so he was there to listen to everyone now. many many people come to pray and talk about their problems, the farmer wish to give solutions, but he didnt eventually.

One day a rich man came over and pray: please let me keep my treasure forever! then he left, but he forgot his wallet farmer wanted to tell him you forgot your wallet, but he didnt.
there. then a poor man came and pray: please help me! I dont have any money! when he was going to leave he found that wallet. "dear juses! thank you very much! "then he left happily. farmer wanted to tell him: it's not your wallet! but he still didnt say nothing. then a young man arrived, he pray: I am going to far away now, please let me safe. at this moment, that rich man came back, and said: where is my wallet? you must have my wallet! give it back to me!

the Farmer finally could not keep quiet anymore, he said: he didnt get your wallet! then he explained what happened, and the rich man got back his wallet, the young man rush to the ship.

Juses said: come down! you are not qualified to be there anymore!

why? farmer asked: I just did the right thing!

the right thing? juses said: that rich man use those money for prostitution, that poor man use those money for feeding his whole family! more over, if the young man miss his ship, he could save his life! because that ship will sink in the sea! now you mess everythign up , because you think you just did the right thing!

sometimes, we always believe we just did the right thing, and we always try to change what happening to our lives. actually, everything is predetinated. what was set is the best choice for us already, if we try to change thing according to what we think it;s the best, maybe we could wourse the situation.

I just want to follow my fate, whatever happen, I believe it;s the best choice for me. there will be something, someone, somewhere….are waiting for me.

cherish what I have, because I would never know what will happen tomorrow.


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