socrates talking about breaking up sorrow
- Socrates walked on the street, saw a young man was very upset there sitting under a tree, he asked: what's wrong young boy?
man: I broke up with my bird friend
S: I see, but that's normal. if you dont feel any sorrow after you broke up, there is no taste at all for this love isnt it? however I think you jump into this droke up sorrow more serious than you were in love.
man: ah, just lost something one step before I almost had it, such pity, such depression, you were not me how could you understand what difficulty I have experienced?
S: lost is lost, there is nothing you could do more. why not move on, there are still many grestness waiting for you.
man:I will be waiting here, until the rock melt by the sun, until the ocean changed into land, until she changed her mind and come back to me.
s: but maybe this day never come.eventually you would just watch her goes more and more further with another guy, there is nothing you could do about it.
man: then I will suecide to show my fidelity!
S: if you really did that, you lost not only your lover but also youself in the same time, you will lose double!
man: How about ruin her life? if I could not have her no one else could either!
S: this only make her run away from you further, but your intention was to get closer to her.
man: then please tell me what should I do? I do really love her!
S: really lover her that much?
S: then would you want the person you love have happiness?
man: of course I do!
S: what if she think leaving you is the happiness she could have?
Man: thatís impossible! She said she find her happiness once when she is with me!
S: that was before she used to think, but now she doesnít think so any more.
Man: so, you mean she has been deceiving me all the time?
S: No! she has been faithful to you all the time! When she was loving you she wish to be with you. Now she doesnít love you anymore, therefore she leave you. There is nothing more faithful than this. If she doesnít love you but still pretend she does, even marry you and have kids with you, that is deceive!
Man: but who give me compensation for my lost? I have wasted all my sentiments!
S: oh no no, your sentiment was never wasted, hence compensation never exist. When you give your sentiment she gave hers too, when you brought her happiness she did the same.
Man: But she doesnít love me any more now, I still love her so much! Itís not fair !
S: absolutely not fair at all! I mean to the one you still love now! You have your right to love her, she has her right to love you too. But now you want to use your right in the same time reaving her right! How unfair it is!
Man: but as you see now, I am the one who is suffering, suffering for her!
S: suffering for her? She is happy now, I think you should say you are suffering for yourself! My boy, doing something for yourself but use other excuses, itís not ethics!
Man: so you mean, from the beginning all my fault?
S: well, yes, kind of! If you could bring her the happiness she wont leave you. You should know no one wants to refuse happiness.
Man: what is happiness? I gave her everything! My heart and my soul! You know why she left me? Just because I am poor!
S: you are a very healthy person, why you donít try to get money?
Man: but she didnít even give me a chance! Isnít she evil?
S: of course she is. But fortunately you get rid of this evil person now, you feel happy my child.
Man: Happy? How can I be? After all I was dumped, it made me feel humiliatory.
S: no, young people should only have pride, not humiliation. Remember, being dumped doesnít mean itís not a good thing.
Man: please explain.
S: once I saw an elegant suit in a shop, I llike it so much. When the sales person asked me if I want it , I said: the material is too bad, I donít want it! In fact, just because didnít have any money in my pocket. Young boy, maybe you are that elegant suit.
Man: you are good at comforting people, but you still cannot help me out from the suffer of this break up.
S: Yes, I am sorry that I donít have this capability to help you, but I could recommend a friend who has such capability to you.
Man: who ?
S: time. Time is the greatest mentor of human being. I have seen many many people were suffering by breaking up, it is time who help them to heal their pain, and chose a best partner for them, finally they all deserve the happiness they suppose to have.
Man: I wish I could have that day too. But how should I move my first step?
S: to thank that person who dumped you, and bless her.
S: because she gave you the fidelity, and gave you a new chance to search your happiness.
After those words Socrates left, and the rest journey should be completed by this suffering young man.
(I wish you could learn something from this dialogue, not only in the love aspect, but also in every aspect in our life time.)