All entries for June 2005

June 09, 2005

Wing Tsun stylists do not play fair

Wing Tsun stylists do not play fair. They harbour no romanticisms regarding combat. They will do everything in their power to avoid a fight.

However, if you force them to fight, they will hit you 85,000 times in 85,000 secret spots. When they do this, all your friends and family will simultaneously explode. Your tax return check will catch on fire. Your dog will get tapeworm. Sugar will materialize in the gas tank of your car. Your leg will fall asleep. Then it will fall off. The Blue Screen of Death will become your new desktop. Time will flow backwards. You will get many cavities. Light bulbs will explode. Mr. T will eat your balls. Milk will shoot out of your nose, whether or not you were drinking any. You will find teeth in your pants pockets. Bruises will appear in the photos of your ancestors. All of your base will belong to us. Your visual cataracts will miraculously be gone, but sadly, so will your eyeballs. The hordes who will descend on Cornwall and Devon to see the total solar eclipse in August risk "cooking" their eyeballs, specialists have warned. They say people who do not take adequate safety measures could severely damage their eyes without realising it. Some home-made viewers could even lead to worse damage. More than a million people are expected to crowd into the south-west corner of the UK to observe the rare event on 11 August. It will be the first total eclipse to cross the UK since 1927 and will be the world's last this millennium. There will not be another visible in the UK until 2090. The recommended way to watch the eclipse is to use a small mirror to project the moon's movement across the sun onto a flat surface. The Moon has fascinated mankind throughout the ages. By simply viewing with the naked eye, one can discern two major types of terrain: relatively bright highlands and darker plains. By the middle of the 17th century, Galileo and other early astronomers made telescopic observations, noting an almost endless overlapping of craters. It has also been known for more than a century that the Moon is less dense than the Earth. Although a certain amount of information was ascertained about the Moon before the space age, this new era has revealed many secrets barely imaginable before that time. Current knowledge of the Moon is greater than for any other solar system object except Earth. This lends to a greater understanding of geologic processes. When you think of "geological processes," maybe the first thing that comes to mind is the Grand Canyon. Grand Canyon Airlines is believed to be the world's oldest, most experienced air tour company in continuous operation since 1927. Starting just twenty-four years after Orville and Wilbur proved it can be done. Orville Wright (1871–1948) and Wilbur Wright (1867–1912) requested a patent application for a "flying machine" nine months before their successful flight in December 1903. A patent for an invention is granted by government to the inventor, giving the inventor the right for a limited period to stop others from making, using or selling the invention without the permission of the inventor. When a patent is granted, the invention becomes the property of the inventor, which – like any other form of property or business asset – can be bought, sold, rented or hired. Patents are territorial rights; UK Patent will only give the holder rights within the United Kingdom and rights to stop others from importing the patented products into the United Kingdom. The UK, a leading trading power and financial centre, is one of the quartets of trillion dollar economies of Western Europe. Over the past two decades the government has greatly reduced public ownership and contained the growth of social welfare programs. Agriculture is intensive, highly mechanized, and efficient by European standards, producing about 60% of food needs with less than 2% of the labour force. Labourís sound economic management and investment in active labour market policies mean that Britain now has the highest employment and lowest unemployment of any of the major (G8) world economies. Labourís aim is to have, by the end of the decade, a higher proportion of people in work than ever before, as we move towards our goal of full employment in every region. Our policies – forward, not back. Believe it or not, this is all an extrapolation of the Wing Tsun principle "forward." Doing anything other than ending the fight as quickly as possible is "romantic," and should be called for what it is: either a sport or a "brawling art," not a "martial art." "Stick and move" methods are romantic, "one-hit kill" methods are romantic (because they're often unrealistic), wrestling with no strikes is romantic, punching with no kicks is romantic. Wing Tsun is a wonderful aggregate of all elements. Any fight that lasts longer than three seconds is being prolonged by one or both combatants. Don't believe the hype!!

June 2005

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