In my last blog entry i promised my adoring public that i would cooment on how a presentation on the founding on two german states on german soil went, (and if i didnt i meant to), anyway is was quite horrible, and not just for me, my audience looked bored throughout, with some adding looks of confusion probably just to break up the monotony a little. i mean it wasnt as if i wasnt prepared (i wasnt well prepared but can you ever be?), i had my notes, i knew what i wanted to say, but nevertheless went i went up to the rostrum i still felt decidely nervous. I, of course, blame the lack of a powerpoint presentation. With a bunch of cool pictures to keep the students and the teacher entertained im sure i would have breezed through it, and alcohol, that would have helped too. But at least its over with now, i can sit back and watch the rest of the class make the same mistakes that i did, only this time itll be funny.
October 30, 2006
Last Friday (today being Monday) i went along for the first of possible many more fencing lesons which lefted me unable to walk properly for the next day and a half. This was of course nothing to do with swords or being stabbed in the leg. That would be a good story full of blood and court cases, this story however is full of running around, and lots of standing around (which was actually a lot worse). The reason for the rather disappointing lack of things with a sharp point was apparently because we (i.e. those people taking part) all had different levels of fitness, and that in order to normalise said level they were seemingly going to make us run around until we a) became fit, b) left or c) died. Now for those of amongst my wide and varied fan club who have had the honour of personal acqaintance (is that how you spell it?) you may be surprised to hear that no, i am not writing this from beyond the grave, although that would be quite cool too this close to Halloween, but do in fact have the feeling that, if i dont improve drastically quickly, i may quit. Well maybe. Atleast we werent simply running in circles for the entire time. For a lot of it we were playing a “game”. In this “game” opposing teams had to throw a rather scruffy looking ball against their opponents wall in such a way that it first hit the floor, then the wall and then the floor again. The game was fast, athletic, and invlolved a surprising amount of running from yours truly. I would like to boast of a proud victory where we smashed our darker clothed oppenents, but truth be told i forgot what the score was about 20 seconds in to the game. Leaving me with nothing more than the sense that we were the beter team, and with the advances in modern science a completely made-up score line. 12-2 to the White Shirted Sharks (better names can be suggested and will be duely stolen). Anyway im sure next week that theyll atleast let us stab each other in a friendly way, i mean what could go wrong. (Exactly what can go wrong will probably be explained after next weeks lesson)
May 16, 2006
February 20, 2006
At Christmas I was given a life-style book (of a sort), which promises to alter your life completely if you follow its edicts. Well i've been trying, although the mini-prostitution week was a bit of a failure. Anyway this week as you may have guessed is Slavery Week. I'm supposed to volunteer to be someones slave for the week, doing practically anything they ask. Now I was just going to offer my services to one of my housemates, but i thought that this showed a lack of any real flair or imagination. So i thought i'd let other people volutnteer to be the slave-master, since being a slave is all about giving up all rights and responsibilities to another (well that and a lot of hard, physical labour). So if you think you've got what it takes or know someone that would that be a good slave-master for a week then message it here and maybe i'll read it one day, like next Monday.
If your still reading, well done. You've past the first test to becoming good master. Patience. Since i'm inherently lazy (something i can't see changing in the next week) you may have to wait a while for many or all of the tasks you ask me to do to be finished. Also expect shoddy work, i think i'd make quite an incompetent slave. Shoddy work would probably be the result here of the fact that your trying to get me to do some. Something i would like to point out now thats not often true in my academic work.
If your still reading after me telling you what a rubbish slave i'd make then you must be exceptionally bored, trying to avoid doing an essay, or you really want a slave. Well if you want a slave that badly simply post any reasons why you think i should even consider you, along with your application. Remember "i'll give you lots of cash" would mean that im not technically a slave, but it would catch my attention.
Also this blog isn't intended as a springboard for people into the business of white slavery, im sorry but you'll have to try somewhere else, like psychology, theyre into mind control and such, so they might have contacts in the underworld.
June 09, 2005
Wing Tsun stylists do not play fair. They harbour no romanticisms regarding combat. They will do everything in their power to avoid a fight.
However, if you force them to fight, they will hit you 85,000 times in 85,000 secret spots. When they do this, all your friends and family will simultaneously explode. Your tax return check will catch on fire. Your dog will get tapeworm. Sugar will materialize in the gas tank of your car. Your leg will fall asleep. Then it will fall off. The Blue Screen of Death will become your new desktop. Time will flow backwards. You will get many cavities. Light bulbs will explode. Mr. T will eat your balls. Milk will shoot out of your nose, whether or not you were drinking any. You will find teeth in your pants pockets. Bruises will appear in the photos of your ancestors. All of your base will belong to us. Your visual cataracts will miraculously be gone, but sadly, so will your eyeballs. The hordes who will descend on Cornwall and Devon to see the total solar eclipse in August risk "cooking" their eyeballs, specialists have warned. They say people who do not take adequate safety measures could severely damage their eyes without realising it. Some home-made viewers could even lead to worse damage. More than a million people are expected to crowd into the south-west corner of the UK to observe the rare event on 11 August. It will be the first total eclipse to cross the UK since 1927 and will be the world's last this millennium. There will not be another visible in the UK until 2090. The recommended way to watch the eclipse is to use a small mirror to project the moon's movement across the sun onto a flat surface. The Moon has fascinated mankind throughout the ages. By simply viewing with the naked eye, one can discern two major types of terrain: relatively bright highlands and darker plains. By the middle of the 17th century, Galileo and other early astronomers made telescopic observations, noting an almost endless overlapping of craters. It has also been known for more than a century that the Moon is less dense than the Earth. Although a certain amount of information was ascertained about the Moon before the space age, this new era has revealed many secrets barely imaginable before that time. Current knowledge of the Moon is greater than for any other solar system object except Earth. This lends to a greater understanding of geologic processes. When you think of "geological processes," maybe the first thing that comes to mind is the Grand Canyon. Grand Canyon Airlines is believed to be the world's oldest, most experienced air tour company in continuous operation since 1927. Starting just twenty-four years after Orville and Wilbur proved it can be done. Orville Wright (1871–1948) and Wilbur Wright (1867–1912) requested a patent application for a "flying machine" nine months before their successful flight in December 1903. A patent for an invention is granted by government to the inventor, giving the inventor the right for a limited period to stop others from making, using or selling the invention without the permission of the inventor. When a patent is granted, the invention becomes the property of the inventor, which – like any other form of property or business asset – can be bought, sold, rented or hired. Patents are territorial rights; UK Patent will only give the holder rights within the United Kingdom and rights to stop others from importing the patented products into the United Kingdom. The UK, a leading trading power and financial centre, is one of the quartets of trillion dollar economies of Western Europe. Over the past two decades the government has greatly reduced public ownership and contained the growth of social welfare programs. Agriculture is intensive, highly mechanized, and efficient by European standards, producing about 60% of food needs with less than 2% of the labour force. Labourís sound economic management and investment in active labour market policies mean that Britain now has the highest employment and lowest unemployment of any of the major (G8) world economies. Labourís aim is to have, by the end of the decade, a higher proportion of people in work than ever before, as we move towards our goal of full employment in every region. Our policies – forward, not back. Believe it or not, this is all an extrapolation of the Wing Tsun principle "forward." Doing anything other than ending the fight as quickly as possible is "romantic," and should be called for what it is: either a sport or a "brawling art," not a "martial art." "Stick and move" methods are romantic, "one-hit kill" methods are romantic (because they're often unrealistic), wrestling with no strikes is romantic, punching with no kicks is romantic. Wing Tsun is a wonderful aggregate of all elements. Any fight that lasts longer than three seconds is being prolonged by one or both combatants. Don't believe the hype!!