November 08, 2004

Bringing a child into this world

I was walking up clemens street this morning and thinking

i really am not able to raise a child. No matter how one might want one, there really isnt anyway that i could be ready to raise a normal child…without it having problems

I mean not now. Not at this age… not being a student. Not now, not now that i am just growing up, seeing the world and getting to know myself. Not like this, with the resources i have now.

This i was thinking.

I have trouble deciding what i want to do on the weekend, what train to take, how to write an assignment; parents are meant to know things. They are meant to be the stable figures in a childs life to guide them, take care of them, help them and love them,

I know i could raise a child, i am physically able to do so,but i couldnt raise it according to "my standards". I couldnt be there for him/her to provide constant certainty and support. To help him/her grow as they should.

This thought therefore scared me. I would like to have a child but there is no way i know what i will be doing in a year or two, so what would be the point of bringing a child into this world if i cant provide for it?

Which makes me thing, how aware of the possibilities and support are young parents, how aware are they of the impact they will have on their children?

I was thinking.

- 3 comments by 2 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. me

    have u spoken to a young parent? they may not have the financial resources available to many older 'wiser' parents (i have yet to meet one of those) but the most important thing to a child is love, a sense of safety and security. of being wanted and loved for who they are regrdless of what they have. if a child grows with a strong sense of self, of their value as an individual, they can face whatever life throws at them.

    08 Nov 2004, 21:10

  2. Chris May

    I agree with 'me', and I'd add one more thing: Energy. Having kids is more knackering than you can possibly imagine, and having them at a time in your life when you can still manage Top Banana 'till 3 then up again at 8 for lectures would (I imagine) be a lot easier than waiting until you're 30 and need your 8 hours sleep a night. Young kids in particular really don't care a jot about money – they're just as happy in hand-me-downs as they are in Baby Gap.

    I don't think there's any 'perfect' time to have children – every age has it's benefits and it's downsides. 150 years ago it was, apparently, perfectly normal for women to start raising children from the age of 14–15.

    08 Nov 2004, 21:32

  3. Hear hear for the hand-me-downs!

    I spent most of my childhood in them, not necessarily because my parents couldn't afford it, but because they didn't see the point in buying new clothes that I would only grow out of in a few months. Having said that, mu Mum didn't have me until she was 36 and I really can't imagine being ready to have kids for a goodly while yet. I can't imagine being ready to have such a responsibility yet, but then you learn with everything you do, and I'm sure these things come easier than we expect when we need them to.

    12 Apr 2005, 22:53

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