June 13, 2005

Knock–out Glassball

We had the first tournament for a long time last night, but I won't spoil the surprise – Colin can tell you all about that in his own sweet time. The really fun stuff happened afterwards:

Anthony invented Knock-out Glassball, for people who don't mind playing for a long time. The middle bottle is balanced on its head in a glass in the middle of the table (with the usual 6 bottles either side). Points scored as usual, but any bottles knocked down during play remain where they fall, and the game only ends when the ball lands in the Glass in the middle. Richard beat me 70–66 if I remember correctly. What a game…

June 11, 2005


Later today, exams will be over for the entire Glassball fraternity… woo-hoo! As if that wasn't good enough news, we're celebrating with the introduction of Premium Glassball (more Colining, I'm afraid) in which the bottles consist of special edition Stella bottles – they have gold labels and everything.*
Also, Glassball is spreading – Tomoko became the first Oriental player, and with their natural inclination for table-tennis-esque sports, she took to the game pretty quickly. For a girl.

*everything, in this case, is limited to gold labels

May 09, 2005

Tournament time again…It's a record breaker!

We held another tournament on Sunday night. Contestants included, but were not limited to, David, Christine, Tom, Richard and Colin. With 6 contestants, we randomly drew for the qualifying round, playing David off Christine and Richard off Tom. Colin won his qualifying match, but since the highest scoring loser also goes through to keep the numbers happy (always a good cause), his opponent also had a place in the semis. David unfortunately beat Christine (which, an exclusive interview with the loser revealed, was "poo"), and Richard beat Tom. The semi-finals saw Richard miss, by an inch yet again, the final round, and Colin wiped the floor with David.

The final round, then, was, just for a change, a vicious fight between the two titans of the game – the current Golden Sash holder, and the hitherto anonymous person x. Person x played badly, but Colin played even worser (gratuitous grammatical errors intentional), and the score shot to 20–10 against. The final match, like four of the preceding matches, included a Jabberwock, and also managed to squeeze in a demon's score somewhere. Person x was reasonably sure of a win, but at this point began to play a bit more daringly than usual, and hence lost the next 7 points. Colin may have been beginning to hope at this point, and would have been able to boast the biggest comeback victory ever (possibly). There was a particular point which is worthy of mention. On 20–15 or 20–16 – I forget which – Colin reverted to safe mode, and with both players determined not to lose the point, the rally went on and on … and on … After about four hits, person x (who must be a bit of a saddo) decided to start counting. Good job too, otherwise no one would have known that, when aiming for a low back-hand corner, x missed the table and conceded a 16th (or possibly 17th) point on the 205th hit of the point. The first bicentennial rally ever. Woo!

Incidentally, person x finally won the Sash with 21 points to 17, and now has it proudly displayed back in his room (whose address may have slipped out in a previous communication)

Thus endeth the completely impartial commentary of the astounding win of Anthony the Inexorable and Inexcusible.

Also, a new player arrived on the scene and astounded the collected enthusiasts with her rapid mastery of the serve technique (second ever attempt sucessful), and a point-winning smash against Richard in the first game. Jude will definitely be in the Women's tournament (which quite a large number of girls haven't point blank refused to join as yet…)


More lingo, ladies and gentlemen: firstly, a 'David' – the first Glassball lingo to be named after a person – is when you serve and the ball ends up behind you, so named because David is very skilled at hitting the ball into the edge off the table, from whence it flies back towards him. David's first shot after the invention of a 'David' was a 'David'... work that one out if you can. In fact he coupled it with a 'bin shot' – the ball landing in the bin. Congrats. Two more phrases have been created for scorelines: 1–2 is known as the 'Jabberwock' and 6–6 is the 'demon's score'... probably because it's close to 666. I invented it, I ought to know… which brings me on to the latest word, a 'Colin', which is self-defining, in that it's a desperate attempt to create new lingo – so named because of many past definitions (decorations, fumble, turkey, Christmas turkey, archaic glass, semi-classic Glassball, bottle shot, Golden Sash… there are so many, and I claim the majority).

May 06, 2005

The others…

So, you already know all about the Big Three of Anthony, Colin and Richard. You've followed their exploits through the months; cheered with them, wept with them, and – in a regrettable experience for one of us – been called as character witnesses against them. But what about the others, those whose place in Glassball history is less assured, but who deserve it nonetheless. In the majority of cases. Here, for your delectation, are some of the people who have helped make competitive Glassball what it is. A two-horse race.

Name: David Lake
aka: The Fox
Distinguishing Features: The only non-Big Three owner of a Glassball T-Shirt, and also the proud owner of a (plastic) Glass with flashing LED lights. Probably the best Scouser to pick up a Glass in anger.

Name: Tom Buffham
aka: Buffers
Distinguishing Features: Currently experimenting with a very small Glass. Recently claimed erroneously that some stupid Internet game was better than Glassball.

Name: Rob Roe
aka: The Gambler
Distinguishing Features: Optimistic – despite never coming close, still believes he can beat Colin, which has resulted in his dressing gown getting an airing.

Name: Christine White
aka: The only girl ever to have shown even the slightest aptitude at Glassball
Distinguishing Features: David's girlfriend, forced to spend excessive amounts of time in the company of Colin and/or Anthony.

Name: Claire Baldwin
aka: The Worst Player Ever
Distinguishing Features: Richard's sister, she is officially the worst ever Glassball player, after losing to…

Name: Simon Thomas
aka: Tubmeister. It's an in-joke.
Distinguishing Features: Colin's brother, whose reluctance to play any sport even extends to the Brave and Noble Game. But at least he beat Claire.

Name: Andy Coates
aka: Little Andy
Distinguishing Features: A sporadic player, who still believes that being talented at table-tennis will help his cause in Glassball.

We've had other players, with even shorter-lived careers, but for that you'll have to wait for the publication of the Glassball Encyclopaedia. Keep waiting.

April 25, 2005

Tournaments a–go–go

Since the last update, we have had two official Glassball tournaments, and the Golden Sash has changed hands no fewer than twice. All these statistics, and many more, can be found at Google! Probably. Anyhow, the first tournament featured all your favourite blog-makers as well as Tom, an apostate from two floors down. The semi-finals were Richard vs Tom, and Colin vs Anthony, and there was shock and/or awe as Tom showed Richard that it takes more than a Glassball T-shirt to get you to the final – the Kitchen Champion was another casualty, losing to Anthony, but winning the third-place playoff. The final went much as expected, a routine victory for Anthony, and the Golden Sash held aloft in P41. We're always told not to give out our addresses online, but I'm sure Anthony won't mind just this once… he keeps his collection of gold ingots under the sink, in case anyone wants to know. Back to Glassball… the latest tournament had a similar line-up, with The Big Three joined by the only other owner of a Glassball T-Shirt, David. In the semi-finals, Colin beat Richard in a nail-biting game, and Anthony beat David, who then went to bed, automically (although unknowinlgy) forfeiting the third-place playoff. The final itself was as exciting as Colin vs Anthony finals usually are, the lead going back and forth until the eventual 21–18 victory by Colin. Forgetting impartiality for a while, a-woo-hoo. In other Glassball news, the desperate attempts by Colin to create new lingo have stretched to 'Christmas Turkey' – def: a turkey resulting in the opponent winning the match. For the uninitiated, a turkey is three fumbles in a row (by the same player, in the same service). For the uninitiated, a fumble is the equivalent of a fault in tennis (except, we don't get second serves in Glassball). It looks unlikely that a Christmas Turkey will ever happen, but you never know.

April 17, 2005

…and they're back

Yes, we've returned to Warwick campus, in a flurry of glass and plastic. Who knows what craziness will fill these pages during the next few weeks? Richard might even write some of his Masterclass. And Rob might win a game. And the next Pope might be Anthony. All three unlikely events.

March 12, 2005

The good news and the bad…

The bad news first: Uni is over for Easter. That means no glassball whatsoever for 5 weeks.

However, as I type this (from home) I am wearing one of the newly made Glassball t-shirts which is enough to bring a smile to anybody's face! After waiting three days for LazyLizard to get round to printing them, they got them done in 20 minutes.

Anyway, we (and by 'we' I mean Richard) also invented mini-glassball, which involves a small plank of wood on the floor and an apparently arbitrary hollow green plastic cylinder laid in the middle. Specially designed for use when the kitchen tables are being used for some crazy purpose like eating by the rest of the population of P3rd, this game is also useful for the more lethargic of players, since a slouch-like position appears to be the most effective. Gladiatorial mini-glassball needs a bit of work due to the lack of distance between players and ability to dodge…

Happy Easter All from The Big Three

March 07, 2005

Some new lingo

We here at the Glassball studios delight in bringing you more and more Glassbll-speak, so that when you play with your friends, you don't get shown up by talking about the net, the ceiling or the ash tray (bottles, decorations, glass respectively). Reasonably recent additions to the vocab list are 'fumble' – to mess up the serve (although you do actually have to hit the ball… if you miss it altogether, you don't even deserve a name) and 'turkey' – fumbling three shots in a row. Taken partially from bowling (where it's a good thing) and the world of cinema/vegetarianism (where it's a bad thing). In fact, we had our first turkey tonight, and it wasn't even deliberate – Chris, a visiting left-hander, is the proud first-turkeyer.

March 05, 2005

The first artificial Glass

Technically, they're all artificial, being made from glass, which is a combination of sand and heat (both of which can be bought by the bagful from any good toyshop). However, we now have a plastic Glass making the rounds.

A gift for David (he just turned ninety), a frequent competitor, this plastic Glass, marketed as a Romantic Ashtray, comprises a number of coloured LEDs which light up in a random, and ostensibly romantic, fashion. Looks pretty cool in the dark…

Intrigued? See link

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