All entries for May 2005

May 09, 2005

Tournament time again…It's a record breaker!

We held another tournament on Sunday night. Contestants included, but were not limited to, David, Christine, Tom, Richard and Colin. With 6 contestants, we randomly drew for the qualifying round, playing David off Christine and Richard off Tom. Colin won his qualifying match, but since the highest scoring loser also goes through to keep the numbers happy (always a good cause), his opponent also had a place in the semis. David unfortunately beat Christine (which, an exclusive interview with the loser revealed, was "poo"), and Richard beat Tom. The semi-finals saw Richard miss, by an inch yet again, the final round, and Colin wiped the floor with David.

The final round, then, was, just for a change, a vicious fight between the two titans of the game – the current Golden Sash holder, and the hitherto anonymous person x. Person x played badly, but Colin played even worser (gratuitous grammatical errors intentional), and the score shot to 20–10 against. The final match, like four of the preceding matches, included a Jabberwock, and also managed to squeeze in a demon's score somewhere. Person x was reasonably sure of a win, but at this point began to play a bit more daringly than usual, and hence lost the next 7 points. Colin may have been beginning to hope at this point, and would have been able to boast the biggest comeback victory ever (possibly). There was a particular point which is worthy of mention. On 20–15 or 20–16 – I forget which – Colin reverted to safe mode, and with both players determined not to lose the point, the rally went on and on … and on … After about four hits, person x (who must be a bit of a saddo) decided to start counting. Good job too, otherwise no one would have known that, when aiming for a low back-hand corner, x missed the table and conceded a 16th (or possibly 17th) point on the 205th hit of the point. The first bicentennial rally ever. Woo!

Incidentally, person x finally won the Sash with 21 points to 17, and now has it proudly displayed back in his room (whose address may have slipped out in a previous communication)

Thus endeth the completely impartial commentary of the astounding win of Anthony the Inexorable and Inexcusible.

Also, a new player arrived on the scene and astounded the collected enthusiasts with her rapid mastery of the serve technique (second ever attempt sucessful), and a point-winning smash against Richard in the first game. Jude will definitely be in the Women's tournament (which quite a large number of girls haven't point blank refused to join as yet…)


Colining–a–go–go

More lingo, ladies and gentlemen: firstly, a 'David' – the first Glassball lingo to be named after a person – is when you serve and the ball ends up behind you, so named because David is very skilled at hitting the ball into the edge off the table, from whence it flies back towards him. David's first shot after the invention of a 'David' was a 'David'... work that one out if you can. In fact he coupled it with a 'bin shot' – the ball landing in the bin. Congrats. Two more phrases have been created for scorelines: 1–2 is known as the 'Jabberwock' and 6–6 is the 'demon's score'... probably because it's close to 666. I invented it, I ought to know… which brings me on to the latest word, a 'Colin', which is self-defining, in that it's a desperate attempt to create new lingo – so named because of many past definitions (decorations, fumble, turkey, Christmas turkey, archaic glass, semi-classic Glassball, bottle shot, Golden Sash… there are so many, and I claim the majority).

May 06, 2005

The others…

So, you already know all about the Big Three of Anthony, Colin and Richard. You've followed their exploits through the months; cheered with them, wept with them, and – in a regrettable experience for one of us – been called as character witnesses against them. But what about the others, those whose place in Glassball history is less assured, but who deserve it nonetheless. In the majority of cases. Here, for your delectation, are some of the people who have helped make competitive Glassball what it is. A two-horse race.

Name: David Lake
aka: The Fox
Distinguishing Features: The only non-Big Three owner of a Glassball T-Shirt, and also the proud owner of a (plastic) Glass with flashing LED lights. Probably the best Scouser to pick up a Glass in anger.

Name: Tom Buffham
aka: Buffers
Distinguishing Features: Currently experimenting with a very small Glass. Recently claimed erroneously that some stupid Internet game was better than Glassball.

Name: Rob Roe
aka: The Gambler
Distinguishing Features: Optimistic – despite never coming close, still believes he can beat Colin, which has resulted in his dressing gown getting an airing.

Name: Christine White
aka: The only girl ever to have shown even the slightest aptitude at Glassball
Distinguishing Features: David's girlfriend, forced to spend excessive amounts of time in the company of Colin and/or Anthony.

Name: Claire Baldwin
aka: The Worst Player Ever
Distinguishing Features: Richard's sister, she is officially the worst ever Glassball player, after losing to…

Name: Simon Thomas
aka: Tubmeister. It's an in-joke.
Distinguishing Features: Colin's brother, whose reluctance to play any sport even extends to the Brave and Noble Game. But at least he beat Claire.

Name: Andy Coates
aka: Little Andy
Distinguishing Features: A sporadic player, who still believes that being talented at table-tennis will help his cause in Glassball.

We've had other players, with even shorter-lived careers, but for that you'll have to wait for the publication of the Glassball Encyclopaedia. Keep waiting.


May 2005

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