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March 28, 2006

Useless Email

Are you looking for an email service with the minimum of ease and use?
Welcome to Groupwise!

We promise you can access your emails up to 20% of the time! Just think – that's access to your job application news, important sequencing results and all comminications regarding where you supposed to be and when, at least once with every 5 attempts you make through the day!

For your conveniece, we have taken the executive decision NOT to transfer final year students to the squirrel system because – even though they have as much right to a decent university email account as anyone else – they'll be leaving soon and don't really matter. Please be patient with any minor faults, like being entirely unable to access your electronic communications from one day to the next. Our dedicated Customer "Service" team will periodically promise to be reviewing the system to iron out any problems. But don't hold your breath.

Here at Groupwise we are striving for continuous improvement. Our latest and most reliable communication package to date – the "Quill & Parchment" operating system – will be ready for release sometime in the near future. Watch this space!

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