All 8 entries tagged Jokes

The jokes are back, and this time they're 'poor'

Ok so I didn't live up to my promise of providing a joke a day, but here is one…

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''
The woman replied, ''Ok honey, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

(Feel free to insert gender reversal to avoid sexual stereotyping)

: 20 Apr 2005 10:30 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Penguins

This one is for you Kat…

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."

They aren't going to get any better I'm afraid

: 17 Mar 2005 17:48 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (3) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Water

What did the water say to the boat?

Nothing, it just waved

: 16 Mar 2005 12:50 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (3) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

tomatoes

Why did the tomato turn red?

It saw the salad dressing

: 16 Mar 2005 12:49 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (0) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

crisps

I was working in an psychiatric hospital as a waiter, and a conversation with one of the inmates went as follows:

Do you have any crisps?

Yes, what flavour would you like Sir?

Helicopter, please

I'm sorry, we only have plane

(True story)

After 4 in a row I am now running out of jokes, but I will make sure I put a new one up each day. If you take the time to learn these jokes for the next 100 days, then you will be able to start your own christmas cracker business. I will of course be taking a 30% cut of the profits

: 14 Mar 2005 16:33 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (0) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Oysters

• What did the Oyster do at the disco?

Pulled a muscle

: 14 Mar 2005 10:36 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (5) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Pirates

• Why are pirates the scourge of the seven seas?

Because they yaarrrrrrrr

(This joke does not work on paper)

: 14 Mar 2005 10:34 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem

Scarecrows

• A scarecrow won a nobel prize; experts say he was out standing in his field

: 14 Mar 2005 10:31 |  Tags: Jokes |  Comments (1) |  Close comments |  Report a problem