Might As Well Face It…
I'm addicted to blog.
I told my girlfriend, Sarah, that I had started blogging last night, and that I had already posted two entries that had created a storm of excitement around campus.
"People just can't seem to stop talking about my blog!" I said. "And I've only written two entries! I could never have anticipated the response that I'm getting!"
Sarah, like Simon previously, seemed genuinely excited that I was publishing my thoughts to the world.
"I hope you have mentioned me in your critically acclaimed monster of a blog." She cried in anticipation of the correct response, via the medium of text message.
"Erm, yes. Of course I have told the world how incredibly wonderful you are. And I promise I will continue this trend in future entries."
I didn't put the "erm" in the actual message. That would make it obvious that I was lying.
So I have been a little untruthful. Is that such a crime? Discuss. Post a comment. No deadline this time. Maybe you feel time pressured. Hence the lack of response.
So I have been a little untruthful, but now I will make up for it now by indulging everything you need to know about my girlfriend. Even the bits you don't really want to read about.
Only joking Sarah. I'm assuming that you are reading this at some point, and you wont be as untruthful as I was and just say that you read it, and tell me how much you enjoyed it just to make me feel much better about myself, because at least one person has read it. That would be a really bad thing to do. It might even be crippling enough to make me stop writing this blog. Imagine the (potential) number of people's lives who will (potentially) have a little bit missing, knowing that there will be no more (potentially) Amazing (yes with a capital A) blog entries to read.
I like to think that I might be providing a service to the invisible masses of the internet. An escape from their daily grind, into another world of someone elses blog. A precious few minutes where they can lose themselves in someone elses thoughts. And all free of charge! This would look really good on a CV.
Or maybe you are providing a service to me? (Potentially) millions and millions of people that I can just chat to. Knowing that you will probably never ever meet me or even know who I am. Or know anything about me. I can say anything I want to you. I can offend you in lots of ways and I will never feel the consequences. Or will I get kicked off the blog list or something? Can I swear in these blogs? If you know then let me know. Post a comment. That would be nice.
This doesn't have to be a one way thing you know. If I'm providing you with all this text then a few short words isn't really a lot to ask for is it? Just a small amount of feedback. Nothing nasty. That is defeating the object. Unless you swear, then I know that I can swear back. That would answer my question quite nicely. You would be having a go at me but actually telling me what I wanted to know. So up yours! Is that swearing? I'll leave it there and see if I can get away with it.
Right. I'm starving.
"No!" You say. "Don't leave us yet! We want more!"
Sorry. Unless Sarah lies to me about reading this, then I will give you more my friends. Have no fear. I will lead you to a better place. A place where "up your's" is not offensive. A place where a small comment is not too much to ask for. A place where "blogging" adds to my employability. The invisible masses saw this place, And saw that it was good. They called it Coventry, And lo, The gospel of Gary was born. Gary appeared unto them, and told them to worship the one true blog, and they will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only if they reply faithfully to blog entries.