All entries for Sunday 28 May 2006

May 28, 2006

Might As Well Face It…

I'm addicted to blog.

I told my girlfriend, Sarah, that I had started blogging last night, and that I had already posted two entries that had created a storm of excitement around campus.

"People just can't seem to stop talking about my blog!" I said. "And I've only written two entries! I could never have anticipated the response that I'm getting!"

Sarah, like Simon previously, seemed genuinely excited that I was publishing my thoughts to the world.

"I hope you have mentioned me in your critically acclaimed monster of a blog." She cried in anticipation of the correct response, via the medium of text message.

"Erm, yes. Of course I have told the world how incredibly wonderful you are. And I promise I will continue this trend in future entries."

I didn't put the "erm" in the actual message. That would make it obvious that I was lying.

So I have been a little untruthful. Is that such a crime? Discuss. Post a comment. No deadline this time. Maybe you feel time pressured. Hence the lack of response.

So I have been a little untruthful, but now I will make up for it now by indulging everything you need to know about my girlfriend. Even the bits you don't really want to read about.

Only joking Sarah. I'm assuming that you are reading this at some point, and you wont be as untruthful as I was and just say that you read it, and tell me how much you enjoyed it just to make me feel much better about myself, because at least one person has read it. That would be a really bad thing to do. It might even be crippling enough to make me stop writing this blog. Imagine the (potential) number of people's lives who will (potentially) have a little bit missing, knowing that there will be no more (potentially) Amazing (yes with a capital A) blog entries to read.

I like to think that I might be providing a service to the invisible masses of the internet. An escape from their daily grind, into another world of someone elses blog. A precious few minutes where they can lose themselves in someone elses thoughts. And all free of charge! This would look really good on a CV.

Or maybe you are providing a service to me? (Potentially) millions and millions of people that I can just chat to. Knowing that you will probably never ever meet me or even know who I am. Or know anything about me. I can say anything I want to you. I can offend you in lots of ways and I will never feel the consequences. Or will I get kicked off the blog list or something? Can I swear in these blogs? If you know then let me know. Post a comment. That would be nice.

This doesn't have to be a one way thing you know. If I'm providing you with all this text then a few short words isn't really a lot to ask for is it? Just a small amount of feedback. Nothing nasty. That is defeating the object. Unless you swear, then I know that I can swear back. That would answer my question quite nicely. You would be having a go at me but actually telling me what I wanted to know. So up yours! Is that swearing? I'll leave it there and see if I can get away with it.

Right. I'm starving.

"No!" You say. "Don't leave us yet! We want more!"

Sorry. Unless Sarah lies to me about reading this, then I will give you more my friends. Have no fear. I will lead you to a better place. A place where "up your's" is not offensive. A place where a small comment is not too much to ask for. A place where "blogging" adds to my employability. The invisible masses saw this place, And saw that it was good. They called it Coventry, And lo, The gospel of Gary was born. Gary appeared unto them, and told them to worship the one true blog, and they will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only if they reply faithfully to blog entries.

Another Blog Entry

Another blog entry right here.

"But so soon!" I hear you cry out.
"Yes. So soon after my first installment I return to blog again."

I appreciate that you haven't had time to fully digest my last offering. I know this because nobody has posted any comments. I presume you will come back again in the morning and reply to my last blog, and then maybe late afternoon/evening time to reply to this.


I told Simon that I had started a blog and he seemed genuinely excited. He may have not have been interested at all. I may have blown his mild interest way out of proportion because I secretly want this blog to become collossal. I want it to appear on the news, in the papers, in the Sun, in the Guiness Book of World Records (do they still have one of those?), as the most read blog ever. I want people to talk about it in the street to their friends.
"Hey! Have you seen the new entry?!"
"Yeah! Its Amazing!"
I accidentally put a capital letter on that amazing but I'm going to leave it there for effect.
A 'super–blog' if you will. Secretly. He mentioned that he expected to see lots of amusing things appearing on these pages in the near future. This concerned me. My first entry was not amusing at all really and I feel like I am letting him down. Hence the conscious effort to make this blog at least start a little more amusingly. I hope this at least makes you smile Simon. If you ever read this. And if you do I would like you to post a comment of at least 50 words. Thanks.

This blogging is actually harder than it first seemed. I don't really want to write about what I have done, or what I think. If I wanted to do that, I would tell you in person. If I know you. If I don't know you then why would I want to tell you? How do I keep an audience, who are potentially numbering millions and millions, who I know absolutely nothing about, entertained? This is difficult. You aren't going to come back for anymore at all at this rate. Let alone tell your friends. Oh well.

I was contemplating reviewing things in the blog. Like I reviewed the TCTC gig in my first entry. You know that already because you have read it and are currently digesting it ready for comment at 10am sharp. I can read your mind. You will tell your friends.

Back to the point, I can't be bothered to write reviews on everything. I have been to Pizza Hut and watched Baseketball this evening. I say this evening, it is now 1o'clock on Sunday morning, so yesterday evening. Both of which I have fairly neutral feelings on. I can't be bothered to tell you about them in any detail at all. And even if I did, the reviews would be very boring, they wouldn't stimulate any grand discussion from any corner of my huge audience. Obviously I believe rambling about not reviewing something will get you all nattering about me.

Time for bed. Congratulations again on getting to the end of this. I can see future entries being much shorter. I can't keep this pace up forever.

Well, saying that, I enjoyed writing it. And is this a particularly long blog entry? I don't know. I don't think I've ever read a proper blog before. This blog is an unnaturally long blog. Discuss.

I expect your comments to be in be 4pm sharp(ish) tomorrow (I mean today now) afternoon. Or Monday if you want. Tuesday is unacceptable.

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