January 27, 2005

A Random Collection of thoughts

Good things right now: Seminars on thw hole, vast improvement both on my part and the tutor's. The library. Makes you feel like you're doing something good even if you're not. Matt, things are good at the moment I just hope I can give him all the support he deserves. Cricket-being able to play in this weekend's tournament as well as last weekend's, I just hope I can perform. Rachel Wilson and Laura Shackleton-my best friends right now, both gems that don't realise how much they mean to me. Must correct that. My parents-missing them a bit, wish they'd stop worrying over my health but legends all the same and can't wait to see them next. Charity law-a new potential avenue for work in the future, I have found something I enjoy in my course at last.

Bad things right now: Friends who's priorities change along with their complete personalities. Normality had better resume soon. The Union website system that deletes things stupidly and won't undo the action. Competition. Uncertainty about the future. Workoverload scheduled for week 5. Early mornings. Not enough time in bed with Matt. 10am-8.30pm days on campus. Xray results taking 2 weeks to get back to my doctor.


November 26, 2004

Lucozade, Peanut Butter and Colds

Writing about web page http://www.sunion.warwick.ac.uk/ladiescricket

Well, it's definitely the dreaded lurgy. Feeling like poo after very little sleep last night and high dosages of legal pills today to keep me awake and alive. Glands up, nose blocked, and eyes near shut. Yep, I'm feeling sorry for myself again! Pissed off that my immune system has chosen to weaken now at such an inconvenient point, what with ALS exam on Monday. Got a hell of a lot of work to do this weekend. Doing less than I should this afternoon, but at least I'm trying I guess.

Getting a bit down about the approaching end of term. I'm glad a break is on it's way, but I know I'm going to miss Matt like mad, and on top of that the idea of sitting at home in an empty house for at least 3 weeks til Mum breaks up for Christmas isn't overly appealing. Especially when that time will be filled with assessed essays. Oh the joy. This had better all be worth it.

If anyone reading this can explain Bayes Theorum to me I'd be eternally grateful.

Had craving for peanut butter earlier. Smooth stuff though. Nice. Lucozade has also been treating me well, feel less guilty drinking it than Red Bull. Eaten too much today.

Missing Amy's big birthday night out to revise and recover tonight. Bit gutted. She's become pretty much my best mate this term, and it would've been ace to share the night with her. Still, I guess I get to se her back home, so all's not lost. To be honest, I think I've seen enough of the cricket mob this week anyway. Looking forward to tournament on Sunday, just hope I play well.

Should get going on revision really…and besides, Neighbours is on soon.

xxxxxxx


November 25, 2004

Poorly–sick

Feeling a bit sorry for myself today…got some form of lurgy that's making me cough, sneeze, endure sore throat and generally feel crap. Desperate to go to bed and watch some telly but must do some more bloody als revision.

Last night went well, the meal was good and I hope I didn't make too much of a tit of myself in my mini-speech. Kelsey's was ok, but people were a bit too drunk perhaps and as usual at these things, it all broke down a bit and I ended up just sat waiting to talk to people i feel i haven't spoken to in a while. Left relatively early as a result, felt it was best to leave then than just sit there.

Got home last night and cut myself. Feeling pretty shitty about that. It's been a while since I did it last and I hate seeing Matt's face when he sees. I was just kinda feeling left out again, and I know it's pathetic and I know it's something that's up to me to do something about, but every now and then you just need a release and to feel you ARE doing something. Anyway

Today was a fairly good day, bar illness. Got a lot done, a productive couple of seminars, some seminar work, some essay research and started revision. Ran the exec meeting but didn't fancy staying due to said bug and revision needs so got bus home but took bloody ages.

Waiting for Matt to get back so I can have tea and a cuddle up. There have to be some benefits to winter.

Til next time.

x


November 24, 2004

A Plus and a Minus

I realised something today. Warwick teaches you to be a cynic, and I'm not entirely happy about that. Today I had a seminar about something I find immenesly interesting. That's the plus. I finally found something on my course I'm interested in and realises what I wanted when I decided law was the way forward…the ability to help people, or at least try and think of ways to help people.

The seminar was on Truth Commissions, and whether they're a good thing or not. After my research I decided they were a good thing. A chnace for victims of atrocities to have their say, a healing process, which would also give the nation involved a chance to hear the truth, forgive one another privately, and move forwards. Leave the history as history. Draw a line and move on under a new system of government. Obviously this approach won't suit every scenario but I has a hell of a lot of advantages and deserves more than cynicism.

My seminar teacher obviously disagrees. And I mean obviously. Instead of allowing for both sides of the argument to be considered, he entered the room believing truth commissions are basically lame compared to criminal trials, and even told me at the end of the seminar that he was pretty sure I was an anarchist if I believed truth commissions were valuable in comparison. Grr. Really got my goat.

Off for the ladies cricket christmas meal in a minute. Supposed to have written a speech but looks like I'm gonna have to blag it. Ah well. Should be a nice evening, looking forward to being able to join in again after Saturday night.

Ellie xx


November 22, 2004

Monday Monday

Feeling a little low this evening. Not sure why. Deflated after the weekend I guess. Tired after 4 hours of straight lectures. Feeling shitty bout ALS exam next week.

Burst into tears in 'Cafe Library' (Kaleidoscope) earlier. Matt announced his 'dream team' for the ladies indoors. I was included near the end of the list.

I wouldn't mind, and it's not a big deal, it just made me think how much work I'm doing for the club but how I'm not getting a chance to enjoy it at all. The Ball was the perfect example. My last cricket ball as a current student and look how it ended. Me in tears wanting to get the next train home. I just want to be involved again, like I used to be. Included in things, with time to enjoy it and time to see my friends properly. I think I'm a shit President; I mean, I get the jobs done but not without getting stressed to the point all I can do is cry and so end up spoiling things for myself and thus others. Oh well. Too late now…

I have a lot to do tonight but all I want to do is sleep. Have felt like that a lot recently. Just want to cuddle Matt and sleep.

Well, better get on.

xx


Relief

Right, well what was looking to be a messy and fraught weekend has come to an end, it's now Monday morning, and I'm not actually feeling that great.
The Cricket Ball was held on Saturday with success in majority. Most people seem to have enjoyed themselves, lots of positive comments have been made, everyone was suitably lashed, and more random pulling occured. In general it went well. I had a fucking awful night. Up until the end of the meal all was fine; the bus turned up, our room was set up very well, the table plans evetually got sorted, everyone (well, nearly everyone) turned up, the food was good and Graham Lloyd was magnificant. JJ did brilliantly there, he's a star. I even enjoyed my bit on the microphone if I'm honest…being the centre of attention for a few minutes each term does you no harm I've decided.

However, the evening worsened. One of our freshers had some exceedingly bad and very depressing news delivered to her Saturday morning, and she told me all about it. I was glad she opened up, and I tried very hard to help, but it was possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I really hope she's OK. She's a damn brave girl.

Combined with this someone decided to pretty much piss in my face and make the female toilets an absolute state. Why the hell would anyone do that? Managed to clear it up, but still, can't help feeling someone was out to get me.

On top of this, my best friend was absolutely battered. Worse than I've seen her before (or maybe I just noticed it more cos I was sober). In the end she ended up slapping me and pulling my hair, pushing me against doors and scaring the shit out of me. They were possibly my worst 10 mins ever. I really was scared and it was my best mate doing it. Even worse Matt just stood and watched for a while. Still makes me feel sick thinking back to that.

Anyway, it was a good evening on the whole. I'm glad everyone else enjoyed it. Had hoped to be able to go for a drink with JJ on Sunday but I think he's a bit down. I feel crap about that, he's the nicest bloke in the world and he made the ball, he did an absolutely ace job. In the end went for a drink with Matt, Rogers and Rachel, which was nice. Still getting used to the idea of Rach and Rogers but it's nice.

All in all things went OK this weekend. Did no work and feel shit about that now. But hey, I always feel like that. Busy week this week. Better get on…

Ellie x


October 15, 2004

The weekend

Well, it's Friday at last and that means I'm gonna be going home later on today until Sunday to see my family and have my birthday there. Really looking forward to seeing everyone again and very grateful to Amy for giving Matt and I a lift back. Have felt a little homesick at times this term and I think I really need a chnage of scenery…it's been a busy 3 weeks.
Got a trusts lecture at Gibbet Hill to go to first though…which no doubt will be as totally useless as last week's. Still, I'd feel guilty if I didn't go.
i guess it's been a failry good week; I've certainly been busy, what with the Demo Moot, 4 seminars, cricket training and the social, and of course a bit of work. Feeling a bit guilty I suppose, I should've got a bit more work done. I came back this term with such good intentions. Ah well.
Right, well signing off to do some reading.
Have a good weekend
xxxxxxx

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