October 20, 2005

Burning Bits of Friends and Loved Ones

Okay, cliche question time: what would you save if your house was on fire and you could only take one thing with you?

Standard answer: photographs.

Why? What practical purpose does this serve? How exactly will a slightly singed picture of your three year old nephew drooling over his lego bricks help you to rebuild your entire life from the ground up? Let's face it, if your life's been reduced to a charred beam and a pile of smouldering cinders, a stack of pictures showing you exactly how much you've lost isn't going to be the most comforting of possessions. Besides, it's not like the people you've taken pictures of are trapped in the inferno with you. There will always be another chance to take photos of them. Better photos.

In fact,t he only half decent reason to get the photos out of your burning home is that they make pretty good kindling…

So, once again: What would you save if your house was on fire?


October 08, 2005

Million Dead/Gay for Johnny Depp (they're a band, this is a review…)

Writing about web page http://www.newbreedonline.co.uk

Warning: Contains strong language. Don't like, don't read.

Million Dead/Gay for Johnny Depp
Rock City, Nottingham

The sight of a very wasted, nearly naked Marty Leopard writhing around on the floor, screeching maniacally into a microphone threaded through his boxers is one that stays with you. So is the sight of Sid Jagger dancing to the tune of Vanessa Paradis’ ‘Joe le Taxi’. In fact, just about everything about Gay For Johnny Depp’s hilarious, madcap live show manages to burn its way into the audience’s brains. They are a band who really perform rather than just play, and between diving into the audience to steal beer and offering sage advice to the crowd (“Fucking: not cheating. Blow jobs: just two guys helping each other out.”), Gay For Johnny Depp grind out their brand of insane, oversexed hardcore with a mixture of aggression and infectious enthusiasm. This band is all about sex, and they deliver a show that’s better than it.

Million Dead take to the stage and promptly ruin everyone’s evening by confirming they’re splitting up, but the epic set which follows almost makes up for the fact. Crowd-pleasers such as ‘Smiling at Strangers on Trains’ and ‘Breaking the Back’ are mixed in with newer, more melodic material, and songs like ‘Holloway Prison Blues’ and ‘Engine Driver’ sound much more vital live than they ever did on record. Million Dead may be over but they’re going out on a high, leaving an ecstatic audience deaf, dumb and paralysed from the neck up. Fucking genius.

*

This review, and many others written by equally wonderful people, can be found at www.newbreedonline.co.uk, an ezine which you should all go and marvel at. Read the interviews! Argue with the reviews! Join the forum! Look, just go there, okay? The organisers are a bit millitant, and they want some publicity…


…and just what the hell is "puce", anyway?

So, I've found my room, stolen some space in the kitchen, got horribly lost, got horribly drunk, been horribly late for everything and almost found out what building all my lectures are in. I've wandered in a dazed, hungover haze through the societies fair and inadvertantly put my name down for all kinds of activities, which I'm now trying to worm my way out of. I've even blagged myself a job (at Tesco, but still…).

All that remains now is for me to get this blog going (well, that and doing actual work, but I aim to put that off for a year or two yet). I have another one, which you can find here:

link

…and I was tempted to just copy entries from that into here, but it seems Warwick would deem most of them "offensive material" and kick me off. Which wouldn't be good.

Unfortunately, this means I'll be stuck relying on Warwick's suggestions. What would I have written on my tombstone? "I'm watching you" written in very tiny letters right at the bottom. Slightly less witty than Spike Milligan, but amusing in an Ed Wood kinda way.

I realise that I'm just babbling now, and should probably come back when I have something of substance to say…

Been nice knowing you…


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