Bleugh
Well, I've been in Iran 5 days now and have hardly left the house. Throwing up all night is not fun, ever. Anyways, I saw a teddybear of a doctor today who gave me a nice bag-full of medicine so all should be well soon.
In my groggy state I have tried to write a few things and the latest is the VERY ROUGH first two sections of my POP sequence poem. Needs a lot of work but thought I'd blog it all the same.
I
Heathrow
slicked back hair and mascara-laden eyes,
navy blue uniform, orange-on-black striped
neck ties; manequins working shifts of simulated daylight,
gossiping behind clockfaces and weighing scales,
fingers souldered to keyboards that click high-speed
and create a percussive music: a pedal note
underlying the chatter of imaptient
snakes of human heads, bobbing forwards at
snail's pace towards conveyor belts giving birth
to bags and coats and mobile phones,
ejecting them into the florecent lights of duty free.
the last length of the labyrinth: we skim the road to
gate 29. the ground moves beneath our feet,
propelling us toward the neon doorway,
where gloved hands will usher us into our economy seats.
II
Mehrabad
groggy, we emerge from our shared cacoon
and breathe in the stale exhaust fumes that hang
like parched drapes in the Teharn city air.
(a headscarf takes getting used to, adjusting it
to cover hair from roaming male eyes and to cover
mouth from the powdery residue of the fumes.)
rows of yawning faces obey the invisible barriers of passport inspection,
hanging like heavy beads upon the official's thread, willing
him to reel them in and bless their visitation.
sweat pours beneath heavy winter coats: we expected snow
and were greeted by springtime weather. everyone here
is praying
for rain to come and wash the air clean, wash
the streets clean, wash the country clean.
a bearded man behind a glass screen preys
upon our faces with his cold eyes, mumbles, stamps
my passport and dismisses us with a wave of his hand
as if he were a king or prince (soldier on a power trip).
Good poems! Hope the medicine gets you better.
14 Dec 2005, 22:29
Hullo Sho! Found your blog! :D
Oh dear, hope ya get better soon. Hope you have fun in the homeland! :)
15 Dec 2005, 00:45
Heya!
Sorry you're not well hon: sending you lots of positive vibes (not quite as effective as antibiotics, but hey…) Hope you get well soon, and have a fab rest-of-holiday. :)
As to the poems, I don't know if you wanted crit, but I really like Heathrow, though you're right, the other one needs some work.
15 Dec 2005, 12:21
Thanks! and yes, I would love crit on the poems! xxx
15 Dec 2005, 14:23
Hey Sho, I also found your blog and I'm very happy I did ;). Kinda like knowing what people are up to, especially if it is somewhere fascinatedly far from the bubble. I'm still in it, at least til the 23rd of December. Oh well.
I really like the idea behind these two poems, and quite a few of the lines are very good (ex: and were greeted by springtime weather./everyone here/is praying). So are your emjambments. Well done. I think with an idea like this you could make a long sequence of poems about different airports/places you've been to. It would give the reader the pleasure of reading about all these exotic places, and it is also an opportunity for you to display your skill for describing very different situations, giving them different colour, etc.
These is just a suggestion though. By no means listen to what I have to say. hehe.
Anywho, have a good xmas and i hope you feel better soon!
Besitos!
15 Dec 2005, 18:47
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