All entries for April 2005

April 28, 2005

Yummy…the taste of music

Your Taste in Music:

90's Alternative: Highest Influence
90's Rock: Highest Influence
Alternative Rock: Highest Influence
Classic Rock: Highest Influence
90's Pop: High Influence
Progressive Rock: High Influence
Punk: High Influence
Ska: High Influence
80's Alternative: Medium Influence
90's Hip Hop: Medium Influence
80's Rock: Low Influence
90's R&B: Low Influence
Adult Alternative: Low Influence
Country: Low Influence
Dance: Low Influence
Hair Bands: Low Influence
Hip Hop: Low Influence
Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence

Pretty fair I'd say, although I do like my folk

4 Pecks Maketh

Whilst at the Black Country Living Museum it finally became clear what I am… would appear that I am a 1/4 of a Bushel (hopefully not of the Gary variety)

This finding was brought to you via the brain of Shallinee Singh , the creativeness of me and MS Paint

April 27, 2005

Limb, persons unknown

Who's does the hand on Tess' shoulder belong to?

Does Badgers have extreme arms?

Particle void

I didn't find any milk particles and to be brutally honest I feel short changed, leaving me with a void in my soul which could only be filled by said milk particles.

Natural effect of what is something I would like to ask?

April 20, 2005

Tickets for Titches

I am a short person, I am a person who enjoys going to gigs, I am a person who does not drink and smoke whilst trying to push infront of other people in order to block others view/lose half my drink/burn those around me/use up space people have created so not to die in a crush.

The sort of people who do this don’t half get my goat (hmm, must research that saying), it is quite pointless me as a short person even attempting to get relatively close to an act, as you can guarantee some heighty usually over-weight idiot will stand directly infront of me within 5 minutes.

I therefore have no view whatso ever of what going on, proof of this was at GreenDay in The Brixton Academy when I didn’t realise that they had gone off, so the lack of encore confused me until the train journey home.

So I think I might start a campaign – allocate tickets on a height to age ratio (that would mean I wouldn’t have to be surrounded by fuppin’ kids with their continuous moshing – it’s Brahms, you can’t mosh to Brahms you gimps!!).

All I’m asking is for fair treatment, we pay the exact same price as everyone else and yet we miss out in half of the fun and frolics. People in wheelchairs get to go further to the front so they can see, so why can we!

Tickets for Titches!

April 19, 2005

S'no Joke

There are just some days when I want to be part of Warwick Snow!!

As my dear friend Martin once said (I have since palmed off as my own) "Alcoholics go to meetings, I am therefore a drunk)

This is a Vanilla Ice, those who came to the Ninja Party probably experienced my hybrid bastardisation of it in the form of "Almond Nice" tis very lovely all should try!

April 16, 2005

Stand as One

Once in a lifetime there comes someone who's genius knows no bounds, who's passion is uncontainable that man is Dennis Madalone

Dennis "Danger" Madalone labelled the class clown by school friends has grown up to be a well respected stunt co-ordinator not only on Star Trek but on the student acclaimed Murder She Wrote, uncredited vocal talent on Lord of the Rings (1978), World Recorder Breaker (in jumping and crazy shit), a star Store Clerk in Beverly Hill Brats, and now Patriotic Rock Genius!!

Join me in sending money to Denny so that you too can have a DVD full of his love and Americaness, so what if 9/11 was a fair while ok, Dennis has brought out his own weapon of mass destruction, destruction of fear that is, this song released on April 5th 2005 is sure to get our necks flushed with red.

Notice how this Adam Sandler-Alice Cooper hybrid is at ease with the child's head (much like Michael Jackson). See the firemen, the angels, the Fuck Yeahs and be proud to know that if indeed America do stand as one they will be an easier target (possibly for their own troops)

Stay tuned to hear whether Deno does agree to have an interview with Chris Carter

April 15, 2005

What should you vote for

Who Should You Vote For?

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Liberal Democrat

Your actual outcome:

Labour -18
Conservative -41
Liberal Democrat 72
UK Independence Party 9
Green 52

You should vote: Liberal Democrat

The LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Now the sceptic in me would say "What if it's a ploy and the results are tampered with", the evil in me would say "hmm, excellent way the sway voters" but the Liberal Democrat in me goes "Wow 72! Crumbs I know my mind"

Vote kids, it is big and it is clever!

April 12, 2005

Customer Bingo

Days at work are altogether so soul suckingly dull, as some of you may know I spit roast for a living, even on the Lord's day.
This doesn't mean I am a sex worker, oh no, it means I'm one of the people behind the Food to Go counter at a store in the RLS.

As a relief to the boredom as well as an investigation into the shopping demographic, I have created "Customer Bingo" for myself and my co-workers (the literate ones) to play.
The rules are quite simple
– Each player has a sheet (3×4 table) with various customer types
– When you personally serve a person corresponding to one of the types on your sheet you may tick the box
– The first person to a full house wins an extra 5 mins break

So if you are one of the people who come to my place of employment and treat me as if I were an idiot, ask a foolish question such as “What’s in the gammon exactly”, you may be lucky enough to feature on a Customer Bingo card.

April 07, 2005

Speeding Victorian Style

I am glad to say that previous suspicions I have had about the speed cameras in use by the British Police have been proved correct.

As the road signs show us, speed cameras aren’t creations of the digital microchip, no no no no they are indeed using olde cameras which Louis Daguerre would be proud of.

This confirmation does also mean that we can all quite happily zoom past these new fangled camera jobbies as they are nothing but lies.

April 2005

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