June 05, 2005

The Landlord, The Chav and The Digger


Picture the scene it is 10am on a Sunday morning in June, 2 days until I start my exams, 2 days before my housemates have to finish their 3rd year projects, 3rd housemate having to research company for interview.
The sun is fairly hidden behind clouds, I'm showered have munched my way through an orange, am just about to go upstairs when Jamie and I see 2 chavs walk past our living room window.

"What the fup?" is our first reaction, this is swiftly followed by "What in all that is remotely right in the world" as we notice these fellows have a decent sized digger aimed towards our house.
Our landlord would surely have infomed us if he was intending to have our lawn dug up, I mean there is that little thing I like to call The Housing Act and something which I believe is called common curiosity.

Oh wait no no no, as you may have guessed from the photo they did indeed start to dig up our garden, oh and wait a minute what's that pretty green line in the earth.
Could it possibly be our NLT cable, could it, could it? Yes yes it bloody well is!

Now, I'm only a tax dodging scrounging git of a pseudo-student not a trained driver for a piece of Plant machinery, however I'm guessing it weighs somewhere between 1530 kg and 3582 kg, and I know damn well fibre optics don't like being drove over.
Yet our clever chavs didn't seem to realise this! Oh no, so I have had to relocate my household to campus, meaning that I am now 3 hours behind schedule and unbelievably irritable (apologies to people who get samples of my wrath).

Oh yes icing on cake:
– Chav asked us for a cup of tea
– Landlord didn't give a flying fup, and didn't realise he should have told us in advance
NTL aren't picking up the phone
– Chav and landlord were laughing at us and the problem
– Chav didn't actually apologise for killing our internet connection
– Landlord and Chav laughed at the idea of us having exams and work to do

Had I the energy to cry I would!


- 19 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

[Skip to the latest comment]
  1. Casper

    I can scarcely believe what I'm reading! Where the fuck do these guys get off!?

    05 Jun 2005, 13:10

  2. What the twat? Check your housing contract – our landlord would at least have to give 24 hours notice, and if your landlord is in breach of contact he might owe you £££!!!

    05 Jun 2005, 13:31

  3. Poor Milly :(

    Definately report the gits!

    05 Jun 2005, 16:00

  4. 05 Jun 2005, 16:02

  5. What a muppet, so that explains why me and Jamie got confused the other week by your landlord and a couple of chavs standing outside your front-room window looking at the lawn and umming and aahing, what a bastard!

    I feel your pain, I nearly kill some kids every summer, they insist on bouncing a basketball all day, every day, from roughly the middle of June til the start of October. NON FUCKING STOP. Also, the house behind us seems to need to chip wood and chainsaw trees on alternate weeks.

    05 Jun 2005, 16:28

  6. Funts.

    05 Jun 2005, 17:30

  7. Blimey… what utter muppets! I recommend you hijack their digger and say "hey chavs, dig this!" before pursuing them down the road..

    05 Jun 2005, 18:32

  8. Adam

    Tossers! Get money out of this!!!

    05 Jun 2005, 20:30

  9. Total gits!

    Drain the digger fuel tank with a bit of hose that will keep the chavs umming and ahhing for at least a day while they can't get there heads around that why the digger isn't working.

    Or take their burberry baseball caps (is that still in chav fashion?) which is a mind control device which the chav of chav's uses to control all the other chav's and they might turn back to normal people.

    Revision certainly makes me the imagination flow…

    05 Jun 2005, 21:47

  10. Bashmore

    Fupping Chav Funts

    I feel your pain Milly…we've got some fat loser builders out the back near our house and it sounds like they are digging a channel tunnel connection from Tile Hill…which they have to start at 8am…tossers

    06 Jun 2005, 11:07

  11. Bashmore

    Fupping Chav Funts

    I feel your pain Milly…we've got some fat loser builders out the back near our house and it sounds like they are digging a channel tunnel connection from Tile Hill…which they have to start at 8am…tossers

    06 Jun 2005, 11:07

  12. Bashmore

    Fupping Chav Funts

    I feel your pain Milly…we've got some fat loser builders out the back near our house and it sounds like they are digging a channel tunnel connection from Tile Hill…which they have to start at 8am…tossers

    06 Jun 2005, 11:07

  13. Milly

    Nice stutter there dude!

    06 Jun 2005, 11:43

  14. Jimmy

    Surely he's just hammering home his outrage through repitition?

    06 Jun 2005, 11:44

  15. He seems to be doing it on other people's blogs too! It's clearly the result of (Brummie x Exam) + Alkyhol

    06 Jun 2005, 11:51

  16. He seems to be doing it on other people's blogs too! It's clearly the result of (Brummie x Exam) + Alkyhol

    06 Jun 2005, 11:51

  17. Double double-post self-pwnge.

    06 Jun 2005, 12:03

  18. Milly

    NTL are coming over today – WOO! Cheers everyone, it's nice to know we're not just being shitty little gits

    Our landlord is a knobber, we have to find our house contract to see if we can get anything back off this. As it stands we don't think we can do anything about them actually coming a destroying our front lawn (gardens being landlords responsibility and all that), but they will be paying for the NTL repair and that's for freakin' sure!

    My anger is now directed at the Chavs nesting next door!

    06 Jun 2005, 12:14

  19. Hmm, I did check that it hadn't put it up already, having accidentally gone to another comments box before it finished loading and it wasn't there….more fool me

    06 Jun 2005, 19:54


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