All entries for Wednesday 03 February 2010

February 03, 2010

Hush fond youth

You are a baby stripped naked,
whimpering on a double bed
in the shadows of the intimate
western towers ahead.

Your clocks are set by Dali’s time,
boundless, blinking 88:88s,
blinding your writhing body
as the date dribbles away.

Hush fond youth, let the lullaby
of infancy stretch your limbs
let your language bloom,
your beautiful body, tall, slim.

And in your adolescence I will peel
your carcass from the sheets,
that merciless mattress scent
that sweaty midnight reek.

In drunken tantrums you swipe,
vomit up teeth, milk and books,
etch scornful slurs into my arms
scars that will forever stain my looks.

Hush fond youth, dance like you did
sing in that high key, sing for me
in photographs and video cassettes,
in a dizzying trance of eternity.

But you just sleep, fitfully
beneath a blanket, a mere child,
warm but bewildered when awoken
by a future you with a smile.



Extracts from a letter

How are you? I disregard this too much and yet am often scared to ask because it does no justice to our relationship. It sums up so little in these analytical heads and overzealous hearts. Tell me how you feel, what you think, you opinion on your life, your future, your past. I want to learn everything again because I feel uneducated when it comes to you right now. I feel like I have no place in asking what’s happened here and why is this and what was that about… I know not of your events and you know not of mine.

So I’m bridging the gap, and please don’t set this one alight. We’ve been so bitter, so agonisingly stubborn. I just want to sit inside your head again, like I used to, reading over discarded memoirs and learning about the brutality of your Father, the indifference of your Mother. I want to hug your mind, and fall across the photographs of your youth, tracing your history in a hazy set of polaroids.

I will be yours again, and I hope you will be mine. I let it slowly fade. I took a picture of us and left it in the sun until the edges curled and our faces paled into insignificance. I let your light go out. Someday our love will be resurrected. Leave this letter in the sun, and let us start again.



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