All entries for November 2005
November 21, 2005
For anyone who is wondering, the title of my blog today comes from one of tonight's many episodes of Coronation Street. I don't normally watch this, but decided there was nothing else on while i wanted to settle down with my wedge of toffee cake… in fact i'm glad i stuck with it, at least it has made me realise that things could be worse in a lot of ways… and that quote just sums it all up perfectly…
I was listening to Robbie earlier, and the words to Something Beautiful really hit me today…
"If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might"
"All your friends think you're satisfied
But they can't see your soul no, no, no"
Just thought that hit the nail on the head pretty well… i'm just left waiting for something beautiful to come my way.
Haven't written an entry since my friends left, so i think it's time for a brief update… Saturday was indeed the big night out we had planned… in fact it was fucking huge in all the wrong ways. I ended up getting incredibly drunk and doing and saying things that did not need to be done or said. True, they had been there in my head for some time, but they did not need to be expressed. It blatantly was not going to produce the kind of results i wanted, but i was too drunk to realise what the hell i was doing, and it's produced a pretty shit mess and a lot of upsetness.
Waking up on Sunday was one of those moments when you just want the earth to swallow you up so that you'll never have to face anyone again. Unfortunately that was not an option… i was hungover as hell yesterday, my ears were still ringing, and some arse had trodden on my foot so it now feels like there's a hole through it (naturally i don't remember that happening though…). I don't remember much actually, obviously i can imagine what happened, but the tiny details of words used etc are missing, and can never be retrieved.
Even after all our visitors had left yesterday, i couldn't face the massive clear up mission that was waiting for me, and i just didn't want to face up to the issues in my head. I ended up wasting a lot of time, but i did have a long chat with Chris, who was absolutely lovely, as usual, and sent me many hugs and helpful comments. After everyone else had gone to bed i started talking to Lewis as well (an old ex-boyfriend who is still a great friend of mine), he was just as worried and sent me hugs, saying all the right things again…
Eventually went to bed at about 4 am, then was woken up by banging around in the house and loud male voices this lunchtime, followed by Shed knocking on my door to announce the fucking plumber was here. Our shower has been dripping for weeks, and this is the bloody day the plumber comes… amazingly i felt absolutely no better today, in fact i looked even worse, if that was possible. I have finally started cleaning up (all my sick from various places around my room, landing, and bathroom – you really needed to know that didn't you?? yes, i was THAT drunk!) and general sorting out from the chaos after having 2 other girls sleeping on my floor over the weekend. I'm starting to get straight now. However, i still haven't started my essay. This is the assessed essay due in on Wednesday. The same essay i meant to start on Thursday so that it was under way by the time my friends came, then thought it was ok, cos i could start after they left on Sunday. Ha. Then thought, it's ok, i've got all of Monday and Tuesday. Yep, just like usual, no matter how hard i try and plan otherwise, i now have just the one day to do the bloody wanker. And my head is at such a good place to concentrate on Greek Tragedy, obviously. This makes for an interesting essay…
Bollocks to the world. That's all that needs to be said.
November 19, 2005
I had a really shitty day yesterday, got less than 4 hours sleep on thursday night, then my lectures just dragged on and on… lost the plot completely, made no notes, but did some doodles of possible outfits for going out on Saturday!! Never mind…. fortunately, the girls turned up after i'd only been back about half an hour, and instantly made themselves at home… you can't get in my room now for piles of bedding and all their stuff, it's great!!
We had a trip round sainsbury's to stock up on the essentials for a good weekend, then went out to the pub… ended up doing a ken pub crawl and drinking rather more than i was expecting… i told you this is what happens when Emma comes to visit… put the 3 of us together and you get slightly more than you bargained for, hehe!! :-)
We went to eat in the Green Man and had a bottle of wine, then went to the Bear, then the Lion. Got chatted up by 50 year old men in the Lion, was quite amusing!! Saw Laura and her visitors through the window of an Italian restaurant down the highstreet, went in to say hi and thoroughly embarrassed them :-) Went back in the Lion to wait for them, and they joined us eventually for a few more drinks. Had a good laugh!! Burst back into the house, crying with laughter and collapsed on the sofa… i think Amy and Shed were a bit concerned, hehe!! Carried on drinking (even though "there's no fuckin point!!!!", hehehe!). Took our wine to bed with us, and passed out eventually…
This morning Emma and i feel fine, Helena's a bit delicate but will be absolutely fine in a bit. We're just going to go for a little walk down the highstreet soon, then bring on tonight baby, oooh yeh!!! :-)
November 18, 2005
So we've just had an interesting incident… I was just getting out the shower in our girlie bathroom, and i heard Laura go downstairs to use the loo. A few minutes later the pump was still running very loudly, long after it should have stopped. I nipped down to investigate and found that it kept re-filling and wouldn't stop flushing. I tried flushing it again, but no, it kept on going. I went to ask Laura what the hell was going on (she hadn't even realised it was still going), so she came to investigate too. She also tried flushing it again, but still it didn't stop. We tried to lift the lid off the back of the loo, but that wouldn't come off. We stood staring at the toilet, pondering the matter for a few minutes, then decided we would have to wake the Shed to see if he could do something to shut the wanker up. I don't think he was overjoyed at us waking him up at about half past midnight, and then us laughing about it, cos the story seemed so ridiculous, but he came to have a look. He couldn't lift the back off either. So he turned the water off (peace, beautiful silence), and then back on again. And thank Zeus it didn't start flushing again. Shed then tried to flush the loo, and surprise surprise it wouldn't stop… So he turned the water off again, and back on, and everything was quiet once more. We now have an 'Out of Order' sign on the downstairs loo door, and Shed will be calling his parents' plumber tomorrow, i shall talk to my dad, and Laura will ask Chris… and there we have it, the story of the toilet who's flush would never end!
Other than that, today has been lovely! I had… wait for this…. 10 whole hours of wonderful sleep last night, it was fantastic! And i was so out of it that i didn't even hear our fucking smoke alarm go off at 7 this morning (although Laura didn't hear it either… i guess we would have burned to death huh?!). I'm so glad it didn't wake me up cos i would have been SO pissed off if that fantastic sleep had been interrupted!!
Anyway, i've done a variety of productive things today, including cleaning jobs round the house, writing a letter to my parents (which i never do, so i'm hoping they will be pleasantly surprised!), venturing out to post the letter, reading Electra, and doing a tiny bit of reading towards tomorrow's City of Rome seminar… also watched the Take That programme we taped last night, was fab, they really were the best boy band ever, no one can ever replace them… just want to put the CD on now, but i think that might be the last straw for Shed!!
Right then, i must go and dry my hair and finish this seminar reading and go to bed! I've got to be up again in just over 6 hours… i guess my night of long fantastic sleep was just a one off and won't be repeated again for about another year… sigh
November 16, 2005
Also Amy's little problem with her knee bone and pint of water was highly amusing, and made me cry with laughter for the second time today, thanks hun!
Right then, Rome and Lost are finished, so i am therefore going to bed immediately! Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams ;-)
Well, things aren't seeming that much better today after all… i think it's just that i'm very tired, but i'm still really out of it.
Didn't manage to go to bed early last night cos i stayed up sorting my life out and doing various odd jobs that needed to be done. I felt better for doing that, but it didn't help the sleep issue :-( The sorting out of my life included making a list of the work i have to do before the end of term so i can get myself organised. This consists of:
- Read Electra
- Read Women of Tracchis
- Write my assessed Greek Tragedy essay
- Write a presentation for my Augustus seminar
- Do a load of reading for my City of Rome seminar
- Complete my first proper Dissertation chapter
So there you have it. My official 'jobs to be done' list, there's no going back now!
Today, i had a lecture about the living conditions in Rome, which was pretty interesting, but i kept yawning and letting my thoughts wander… I also spent an hour finding books in the library for my next essay (happened to find a book that looks fantastic for my dissertation too!). Met up with Amy for lunch, and then with Siggy to go and see Fame in the Cooler. Other than a few problems with the microphones and sound at times, i thought it was excellent – i was drawn between wanting to get up and dance, and just wanting to go to bed!! Was very good though. By the time we got back, i'd got a headache and was gradually feeling worse… so since then i've had my tea and sat in front of the TV… had an amusing moment when Shed pulled the christmas tree apart and ended up throwing it around the living room :-)
Had a text from Emma earlier, and yes darlin i am sooooo ready for your arrival at Warwick… bought our tickets earlier, so anyone else who is intending to be at Time Tunnel on Sat with us (i.e. Lauren, Amy O, and Siggy) please get your arses in gear and get your tickets!!).
We have a slight issue tonight cos there's a Take That programme on which us Ken girlies really want to watch, but it's over the same time as Rome and Lost, so we've come to the conclusion that it makes more sense to watch Rome and Lost as normal and tape Take That to watch tomorrow. We've already found the tape!!
So now i'm going to sit in my chair in front of the TV, watch Rome and Lost, and then I AM GOING TO BED… straight away. No arsing around sorting out my life, i'm going to bed when Lost is over… and i'm so looking forward to curling up and being all warm and cosy and getting loads of beautiful sleep… :-)
November 15, 2005
Ok, the essay is done… after a long few days i managed to complete it well before normal, was pretty impressed with myself. Progess was slow on Sunday due to a lot of arsing around and wasting time, so i ended up staying up til 4:30 working on it because i wanted to get to a certain stage before i went to bed. It worked though, because then it was a lot easier to finish off yesterday. The whole thing was finished and printed (after a minor stress that i had run out of ink) before dinner time, so i was very pleased with myself… of course it was probably a pile of bollocks, but i don't much care cos it's done now! Have eaten a ridiculous amount of junk while working on it though – cake, icecream, a whole block of galaxy, two packs of haribo… all in a couple of days, not good :-( i just can't work without having something to eat, i can't help it!
Anyway, my amazing early finish meant that i could indeed go to Top B, although it was only me and Amy who went in the end, and we didn't go til later. But we randomly had a really fab night, was just right, and we had such an appreciation for Top B last night – we didn't have to queue at the cloakroom or even in the market place bar, they played good music, we didn't get anyone chucking purple over our heads, and we didn't even get that many people standing on us… was highly successful! Also managed to get a taxi pretty easily and the driver happened to be a particularly nice one. Stayed up for a bit having tea and toast and discussing the world afterwards… it's all good babe :-)
Had to get up much earlier than i would have liked today though to hand the bloody essay in… got it signed into the book 5 mins before the deadline (ok, some things will never change…!). I then rewarded myself with an hour of piano playing in the music centre, was just what i needed :-)
Then had a careers talk about getting graduate jobs in the local area, which finished much earlier than i was expecting, so had a quick dash round sainsbury's and was back nice and early :-)
Since then i've been feeling pretty weird. I can't work out what's wrong with me, i think i'm just overtired so i'm letting little things get to me much more than they would normally. I've just not been with it at all this afternoon, there are so many things i needed to sort out today, but i haven't looked at any of them. I should be on a huge high now, with this essay in, having had a good time last night, and a fantastic weekend planned…. i still can't wait for that!! My best mates from home, Emma and Helena, are coming on Friday and staying till Sunday. Laura's boyfriend Tom and his mate Mark are also visiting over the same weekend, and we have a MASSIVE night planned on Saturday at Time Tunnel, it's going to be fantastic… but i do warn everyone in advance, i'm going to be wrecked, i know it will happen, and trust me if you think you've seen me drunk, you've seen nothing til you've seen me out with Emma!!
I am still very excited about these plans, but even thinking about that hasn't cheered me up today, what the hell is wrong with me?? (ok, don't try and answer that anyone!). Anyway, i ended up sitting watching Hercules before dinner (which was obviously fantastic – who put the glad in gladiator? Hercules!), having more icecream, and now i'm sat here with another fucking bar of galaxy. I need to stop this. Think of how huge i'm gonna be by the time i've finished my dissertation… oh dear :-(
Right, i really should go and do something useful then i suppose, then hopefully get an early night and lots of beautiful sleep! And everything will seem so much better tomorrow. Sorted.
November 14, 2005
| You scored as Mermaid. Mermaid: Mermaids are also known as Sirens. These creatures were beautiful women who tricked sailors into becoming completely entranced by their haunting voices and found death soon after. Not all stories of Mermaids are about gentle loving sea people. They are mystical, magical, and extremely dangerous. They have a way about them that brings anyone they are around to seem enchanted. They are very mysterious creatures and to meet one... Would mean certain Death. Let the song of the Sea fill your soul, for you are a Mermaid.|
What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
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Under the sea… darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me…
| You scored as Slut. |
What type of girl are you?!!
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Anyone surprised by this revelation??
Shame i don't look like that though huh?
| You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.|
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
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Few friends or allies??? what's that all about then? how rude! i can see myself as bat-girl though…!