Well, supposedly i should have finished my dissertation chapter by now, so that Lewis could come and visit tomorrow… i'm afraid that what has actually happened, is i've done fuck all. Having a run of such productive days recently was clearly a complete fluke, and i have now returned to the useless non-working Emma who everyone knew before… I have absolutely no inclination to sit down and do this bloody work, and that in itself is now pissing me off.
I wasted a huge amount of yesterday, and i have now wasted all of today, so far (i suppose i'll still be up for hours, so there is hope for me yet!)... What i have achieved is to eat a load of rubbish and so make myself feel disgusting, and also to get worked up about things which really isn't good for me either.
On the plus side, Top B last night was fab, as usual. I just want to make the point straight away that my blog post last night reflected in no way on the Top B experience. I was actually far more drunk than i realised (isn't it frustrating when u realise that the next day??), and had a good old boogie in the marketplace. Huge thanks again to Chris for the lifts, having seen how bad the snow / ice was, i'm convinced we would have ended up sliding all over the place and going arse over tit in a big way trying to run for the bus, so it is much appreciated, thank you!
Also thanks to the random group of lads who wouldn't let me through on my way back from the bar, telling me it was someone's birthday, and would i give him a birthday kiss… I think it marked the return to my old ways, really it is so much easier for me to live like that… i need to stop getting disillusioned and distracted, and just do what i know and what i do best… bollocks to it, Emma's back!
There are so many reasons contributing to me feeling down and a bit weird, and the fact that i just cannot wait to get out of here… i can't explain properly on the blogs, but trust me i've had enough of things, and i just know that this break is going to do me the power of good… bring it on :-)