All entries for May 2005

May 31, 2005

The trials and tribulations of mina….....

Where to begin….... Ever get that feeling during an exam when the invigilator says "you may begin." You turn over the paper, and all the self confidence that had kept you bouyed up during the pre-exam jitters sinks like a lead balloon and all you want to do is cry?......welcome to my world. That was development economics on Wednesday. the biggest bitch of an exam I have EVER had. Why why WHY do lecturers feel the need to punish their students? I think that lecturers are really masochists at heart. They stand there lecturing all year. And every time you miss a deadline, or scive a seminar, or do not know what the "Big Push" is, they nod, and they smile, but inside? ha. Inside they are rubbing their grubby little hands in glee, thinking about PAYBACK. What is payback you may ask? The finals. That three hour paper that is the culmination of a lifetime of scholastic torture. Call it Murphy's Law, cosmic karma, masochism, whatever. The bottom line is that there will always be that one lecturer who picks that one line in the piles of handouts to set 50% of the paper on. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!! What I want to do to that one lecturer who's name will not be mentioned is not the kind of conversation one conducts in civil company.

What does any student do when faced with a paper they have possibly failed? No, after they cry. Yes, they calculate what marks they will need to get in all their other papers to still graduate with a 2:1. It is meant to calm us down. It didn't. Unless I get at least one first in my other papers to even out this one dismal mark, I'm screwed. Woop de doo.

Ok, what do you do next? The usual student will go out and get completely and utterly trashed. That option was not available given that I had another exam at 9:30 the next morning. So what did i do? Went home and studied. gag gag puke.

May 18, 2005

Calling all procrastinators…...

It's official, I am the QUEEN of procrastination! Exams are swiftly looming on the no-longer-so-distant horizon and this is what I've done today;

7:34: crawled out of bed, had shower got dressed.
8:00: Made sandwiches for lunch
8:30: Arrived at dungeon of doom
8:31: Decided to go apply makeup
8:50: Finished applying makeup
9:00: Went to my spot to look for my notes. They'd gone. Moved by library security to lost and found after I left them all on the desk without leaving a note ( Normally leave my "I'm a lazy cow, please leave" note on top of my files)
9:10: Found my notes. Apparently I'd left two BOXES of them in the library.
9:15: Found a trolley to wheel all my stuff back to the fifth floor
9:20: Started revising
9:25: Ate a sandwich
9:35: Ate another sandwich
11:30: Went to check my email
11:40: Bought eyeshadow on eBay
12:34: Writing blog entry

As a result, this is what I'll be doing come Friday:

8:30: In Library
9:00: Have panic attack
9:30: Try to read one year's worth of notes in one day
24:00: Library closes, get kicked out
24:05: Find empty room to study in
02:00: Run out of Pro Plus. Run to ceffee machine to pay £2 for muddy water
03:00: Realise the coffee isn't helping, get chocolate instead
05:00: Run out of change
09:00: Listen to everybody talking about Schumpeterian Economies of scale before exam (Your guess is as good as mine)
09:15: Cry
09:30: Get exam paper…..cry again
10:00 Start eating chocolate after having written everything I know in 30 minutes.

14 July: Collect my robes for a graduation I won't be attending

Blast. I guess I better get back to revision huh?

May 11, 2005

Dear Arts Centre…You smell like fish.

Dear Arts Centre,

I am writing to inform you of something that has been bothering my fellow students and I for quite some time now, namely, the all-pervasive and incredibly powerful stench of fish that invariably pollutes the Arts Centre.

We have noticed that this smell, although present throughout the day, seems to build in intensity as the day progresses until, by the evenings, it is enough to render a small animal unconscious.

While we understand that yes, there is nothing wrong with the smell of fish per se and yes, you cannot smell it yourselves, we feel that it is our duty as conscientious and helpful students to let you know that we would rather not have to walk through a fish monger's every day and that the reason why you cannot seem to smell it yourselves is that, rather unfortunately, you have become oblivious to the stench due to prolonged exposure.

We would greatly appreciate it if you would look into installing a more effective ventilation system, cooking less fish or, failing those two, that you would consider distributing sachets filled with fragrant herbs (lavender or rosemary would suffice) to all those brave enough to venture through said enclosure.

We hope that you will take our views seriously and not dismiss them as a joke which we assure you, they are not.

Yours faithfully,

The Students.

Library 0, Judi 1

Woohoo! To all of you who actually visit the dungeon of doom that is the library, you would have noticed the whiteboard with the new "exam only" rules that we're allowed to consume fizzy drinks and juice provided it's not in a can and in a screw top bottle! God complaining is fun! It is a direct result of Judi and Sophie's complaints that…believe it or not….have gone up on the "You say We say" board despite the fact that Judi's comment is addressed to " the Library Nazis"!

That's the lovely thing about this country….freedom of speech! If I had done that at my school back home I probably would've been called into the headmaster's office and gotten a strict talking to!

I speak from experience…..We got this REALLY crap art teacher at school who was so bad that I ended up teching all his O and AS level students instead of him! I complained and ranted and raved about his utter incompetence to anybody who would listen. The result was that I got bannned from the Art room! lol! I miss school!

May 04, 2005

Return of the library nazis (aka library stewards)

Follow-up to Waste of time…..? from Mina's blog

Today we got handed a little leaflet entitled We know revision time can be stressful. No shit Sherlock! Does anyone know how many of those leaflets they actually have???? I saw him shuffling through a whole sheaf of them before he handed out that one!

Welcome to the Pro Plus generation!

Today I finally took that one tiny step on the precarious balancing act that is Pro Plus. I was determined not to go down that road after last year left me looking like an extra from Night of The Living Dead. Then….I went to stock up on chocolate at costcutters when I walked past the damned things and couldn't resist. Incidentally, they have stocked up on rows upon rows of the innocuous looking little white pills in anticipation of the desparate hordes of students who have their "light bulb moment" and realise they have only two weeks to study 4 modules.

Does anyone actually know what happens to you if you have more than 2 of them in an hour?

May 02, 2005

Waste of time…..?

hmm. I have three things that I think are a waste of time;

1) The library nazis (Yes i KNOW that that's a very Un-PC thing to say and my German/Austrian friends have already complained about me using it so let me clarify; the library nazis are those people that wander around aimlessly around the library, handing out little bits of paper with things like To avoid being disturbed, keep your food out of sight and Talking on mobile phones while in the library will incur a 10 fine ) Not only are they a waste of our time, they are also a waste of money. Whoever here thinks that library resources would be better spent buying books to supplement our pathetic (and recently cannibalised in the name of the learning grid) supply of books instead of prowling around handing out bits of paper printed in colour (Note the added expense) to people who have ( SHOCK-HORROR) been eating a satsuma in the libarary, hands up. Yup, I thought so. I'm not the only one. Incidentally, Judi had a huge "discussion" with the library people about this then put a note in the suggestion box addressed " Dear Library manager/library nazis" . It is yet to appear on the "you say- we say" board!

2) Men who take your number, say they'll call, then don't. All the women out there know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Why on earth do guys take a girl's number then don't call back? It's not as though we sit next the phone constantly jumping when the phone vibrates only to find out that it's a delivery report from a text message we sent three weeks ago to T-Mobile asking them to top up our phone or anything but, I mean...WHY???

Judi has a very valid point here…. All men should be given a questionnaire to fill in when you meet them along the lines of;

  • single? tick here
  • living at home age 35? tick here
  • got a foot fetish? tick here
  • Watch Star- Trek Enterprise? tick here

and last but not least,

  • Will you actually call me if I give you my number? tick here

If wishes were horses eh girls?

And Finally

3) Blogs. Does anyone ever read this damned thing anyway?

May 2005

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  • Indeed. by Andrew McFarland on this entry
  • Indeed. by Andrew McFarland on this entry
  • I myself enjoy the smell of fish. A little too much. by Luis Rosero on this entry
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