Dear Arts Centre…You smell like fish.
Dear Arts Centre,
I am writing to inform you of something that has been bothering my fellow students and I for quite some time now, namely, the all-pervasive and incredibly powerful stench of fish that invariably pollutes the Arts Centre.
We have noticed that this smell, although present throughout the day, seems to build in intensity as the day progresses until, by the evenings, it is enough to render a small animal unconscious.
While we understand that yes, there is nothing wrong with the smell of fish per se and yes, you cannot smell it yourselves, we feel that it is our duty as conscientious and helpful students to let you know that we would rather not have to walk through a fish monger's every day and that the reason why you cannot seem to smell it yourselves is that, rather unfortunately, you have become oblivious to the stench due to prolonged exposure.
We would greatly appreciate it if you would look into installing a more effective ventilation system, cooking less fish or, failing those two, that you would consider distributing sachets filled with fragrant herbs (lavender or rosemary would suffice) to all those brave enough to venture through said enclosure.
We hope that you will take our views seriously and not dismiss them as a joke which we assure you, they are not.