All 12 entries tagged Boohoo

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September 30, 2005

an honest man doesn't really have the knack for this sort of thing

quel jour. firstly, i don't really look like that picture up there any more, cos i've had a ridiculous haircut. hopefully that's me done with visiting the hairdresser's for another four years, though! i had a wonderfully northern irish encounter today with a GP whose advice i sought regarding my ridiculous knee. it went something like this:

Me (entering surgery): 'Hello'
GP (very unfriendly): 'What is it?'

There follows a lengthy description of my housemaid's knee

GP: 'Right. Right. Right right right.'

Long pause

GP: 'And do you feel sick at all?'
Me: 'Not really, just the knee.'
GP: 'Well, you probably have an infection. All you can do now is wait until your knee gets really swollen and painful, and you feel terrible, and then go to Casualty.'
Me: 'Oh.'
GP: 'I'll write you a prescription anyway.'
Me: 'Please don't let it be for ibuprofen.'

GP hands me a prescription for ibuprofen

Grr! nevertheless, all is well. i'm feeling quite strange with my short hair but i'll get used to it soon no doubt. an evening of DVDs and of knee-elevation awaits!

September 06, 2005

i don't want people asking me about grim fandango

well now, well now!
i haven't posted on here in a good wee while, due to being hindered by my incapacitating, dodgy knee and my incapacitating, shitty job. nevertheless, here i am.

firstly, the story of the fish.
last week we purchased three happy, smiley fish from the local pet store. obviously not exempt from the canley curse, however, these fish are no longer looking good. so much so, in fact, that one of them (mitch ryder and the detroit wheels) is, in fact, dead. diana ross and the supremes is looking incredibly peaky, and martha and the vandellas has lost much of her spark. watch this space for latest fish updates. we have quarantined them into different tanks. we may only hope and pray that they survive the night. we may only hope…and pray.

anyway, other than that.
the canley kids have gone back to school, after purchasing their shitty school uniforms from me in my crappy job. on their return from school today, however, they broke into our house (of course they did!!) and stole some sweets. the one who always smells of piss told us that he'd got in trouble that day for punching someone in the face. there is, truly, no hope. we now have internet access in the canley abode so, sadly, are no longer forced to surf from the relative sanctuary of the zimbabwe-esque canley library, decorated on the outside by an interesting jungle mural, in which can be heard that unique canley soundtrack – a mixture of the revving of mobility scooters, the screaming of children, and the snoring of fat women with moustaches. of course, we haven't lost touch with our roots, being still from the block as it were, and so we experienced a wonderful canley moment earlier. crossing the subway under that shitty road that leads to vile tile hill, we were able to witness some of the following, delightful graffiti (pictures one day if i can bear it):


"kill all chi-chi mans"

"fucking clener clen this you bitch"


"big boobs 4 jonny"

and, my personal favourite…

little remains to be said.
by the way, why does no one ever try to figure out the obscure film references which make up the titles to my blog entries? the prize of my love goes to the first one of you to work some of them out.

not my love love, obviously.
cos, you know, that's like prostitution.

September 02, 2005

it took a lot of courage to step in front of that plasma bullet

well now!
apologies for the lack of posting over the last few days. i've been pretty much house-bound by one of the lamest complaints ever, even by my standards…

i have housemaid's knee

that's right, my kneecap reached watermelon-like proportions over the last few days, but a long period of lying on the sofa watching re-runs of 'average joe' appears to have aided its restoration process, and i'm hopping along quite nicely now.
sorry, the next bit has to be staff/student viewable only. i've already incriminated myself enough on this thing…

July 13, 2005

nonsense (sorry)

alrite then, here's an entry for you, as requested.

a love poem, by Ravenz23.

'Have I Ever'

Have I ever told you
that if I sit really still and silent,
sometimes. I like to think
I can hear your heart beating
in time with mine?

Have I ever told you
that when I watch you speak to me
through lines and cords,
and bytes and ram,
I imagine
your voice,
whispering into my ear?

Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day
in anticipation,
only an hour or two,
just a second in space and time,
to feel close to you?

Have I ever told you
that there has been times,
when I ached for you,
ached for you so badly,
that the emotions overwhelmed me..
and so I sat and cried?

Have I ever told you
that sometimes,
I will reach out,
touching your name
on this cold screen before me,
I could reach in
and pull you to me?

Have I ever told you
that after the first time I heard
the sound of your voice,
thousands of miles away,
I sat up all night,
turning the conversation over and over
in my mind,
examining it,
like some newly discovered species of flower?

Have I ever told you
that I would give everything up,
just for one night
to be able to lay near you,
to feel your chest rise and fall
with each breath you take,
just to know that you are real?

Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of you reaching out
and touching my hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,
and everything is okay?

Have I ever told you,
have I still yet to tell you . . .
that I love you?

jesus christ, i'm glad i didn't write that. alright alright…if u want a proper poem…i won't try to beat 'somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond' by e.e. cummings. 'nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands'? too right!

July 12, 2005


so, i got turned down by tesco. that's right.

turned down by tesco

and i know they're after people, cos there are posters everywhere. oh well. i just registered for unitemps, but all it will tell me, no matter which link i click on, is:

"You have no current jobs"



i'm so stressed!!!!

June 27, 2005

jobs? jobs? jobs??

i'm keeping my fingers crossed for the post of 'entertainer' at a well-known tour company's 'holiday village'.

June 07, 2005

sad car news

both of the front doors of my car have now officially given up opening, and the back two can only be opened from the inside. hence, it is now only possible to enter my car from the boot.

May 23, 2005

doorbell monologue

well now, well now.
i've just finished up the run of 'noir way out', all is grand, except that i am completely christing exhausted, bruised and generally in need of a bit of a chillout, a prospect impeded by my impending dissertation. still though, can't complain; i'm just grateful that i don't have exams. one of our housemates has moved back home, the ramifications of which were already being made apparent by last night's debauchery.

here's a wee bit more now.
I made number 34

May 05, 2005

class dog / MY BROKEN LIFE (boohoo)

this dog is so class.

other than that, i'm feeling pretty relaxed. handed in my essay, voted, car door entirely broke which means i'll probably have to get a new one. but even that's cool. i can deal with a harlequin car. in fact, i think it'd look pretty ace.

rehearsals continue for 'noir way out' which will be shown on the 20th and 21st May – please do come along.
and, just when we thought it was safe to get back in the water, carter and i are heading back to rainbows again tonight…watch this space!

one last thing which has just struck me… if you're thinking of working for fitness first, don't. i worked for the cannon park branch last summer, have still not been paid despite contacting them at regular intervals since then, and my job consisted of trying to convince toothless canley-ite inbreds to join the gym and being told to fuck off. it wouldn't have been worth it for a great deal of money, and it certainly wasn't worth it for free. i'm not going to give up though.

my dissertation 'work in progress' presentation so far consists of the following words..

"Dissertation ‘Work in Progress’ presentation".

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