All entries for December 2004

December 31, 2004

Review of the year

well now, i've seen on a few other blogs that lists are being posted about the top five great or not great moments of the year and other such malarkies. i thought about this myself, then realised that it would be very difficult to create a list of the best or worst events. so instead, i thought i'd do a sort of spectrum going from the worst bits to the best, so that it all ends on a positive note. this too is difficult, as most of the things on the list will probably turn out to have both good and bad sides. but i'm going to try, just to preserve the year in summarized, list-y form. great!

The worst bits of the year..
– the irrevocably worst bits without any good side were obviously natural disasters such as the tsunami and, well, the bush re-election…but that goes without saying…
– going on holiday to ayia napa for a bangin' two weeks on an 18–30 tour. okay, so that was a lie
– feeling a bit 'crisis of self'-ish in the vacuum following graduation and seeing a lot of others feel the same
– getting food poisoning from a coleslaw sandwich – although it did have comedy value. but i never want to see coleslaw again
– having to flirt with an unappealing man named karl in a bid to get paid for the crappy job i did during the summer
– asking the manager of the 'flagship shopping centre' in bangor if i could have a job busking inside the centre. he was quite keen on the idea, and asked me to do a sort of audition by playing for a couple of hours in the centre – no problem. he also wanted me only to play christmas carols – also wouldn't have been a problem. except that this was in august. i didn't get the job because i wasn't playing enthusiastically enough. i wonder why that was…
– experiencing maximum cases of warwick's red-tapeness and its tendency to defer all questions as much as possible (example – being continually sent between 'university house' – and told to use the back entrance! – and the rootes building in a bid to sort out my PLU housing) i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about. good old warwick!
– the respective releases of 'my neck, my back', 'babycakes' and 'call on me'. rubbish
– my worst and stupidest bit of the year was having a bunch of arguments with someone whom i love very much and generally being maudlin about the entire situation for a long time. sorry about that. it's only a worst bit out of preservation though, because i think things are much better now. and if you're reading this, you know who you are, and sorry, and thanks for being so ace. so..

The pretty good bits of the year…
– coming home to ireland and finding that i like it more and more every time i return..still a bit dubious about the vast spide population though
– moving into my new house on che-sham street – which would be a great bit if it wasn't for the fact that every appliance in the house then proceeded to self-destruct
– discovering lucky jim, 'little britain', and ready brek. ace!
– starting to get into my MA and dissertation topic, even though it does involve studying 'ground force'
– dying my hair grey at willes road and wearing a paisley dressing gown for a week. happy times!
– driving to glastonbury whilst incessantly screaming 'wilderness' (great game)
– being indirectly told by a woman who watches all-day coverage of her street through an elaborate CCTV system that my inappropriate actions made me unwelcome in canley. grim, but worth a good laugh too! in fact, canley in general is worth a mention. seeing the kids from next door to roisin jump up and down on a mattress has to go onto the list somewhere
– working for a well-known chain of gyms in a branch in cannon park. this would definitely be a worst bit if it hadn't have been for the fact that there were great people around with whom to laugh at the crappiness of the job, which involved trying to convince the toothless inbreds of canley to join the gym and being told on a regular basis to 'fuck right off'

The amazing bits of the year…
– having some absolutely incredible times in willes road with alex, damien, kate, ruth and rod. i'll never forget living there. highlights included the absolute extremity of filming 'the limes', lying out in the garden during the summer and listening to the sociopathic dog next door screaming, and growing to love my crazy womb-room with its pink flowered wallpaper, pink curtains, pink carpet..
– going to see bill bailey in the arts centre and him talking to roisin whilst on stage about hitler..and also going to see michael moore
– the amazing, amazing freshblood cabaret on the 4th of february in kelseys
– discovering the debonair. it never fails to deliver!
– graduating together with the amazing bunch of people from film studies; especially going outside on the piazza and throwing those crazy hats into the air
– the last week of term in third year which had my three huge highlights of the year squeezed together very quickly…'attack of the killer bee people' in the arts centre on wednesday, degree results on thursday, and off to glastonbury on thursday night
– glastonbury – it was totally amazing, and being camped in a big group of around 20 people and generally feeling completely at one with everything was incredible..not to mention the amazing bands, running across the grounds with kate after having seen Love to catch The Bees being a particular highlight!
– the christmas panto 'blingarella', great times!
– having two great holidays…majorca with becky, and safari with my parents
– having some of the best friends that anyone could ever ask for, and getting to know some new ones this year. it's cheesy but it's very very true!

there will probably be more as my memory returns to me!

Googlism–ness–esses. yep

well, having googlismnessed my name, just for the cotton-pickin' hell of it, i received this almost entirely accurate information:

Googlism for: eimear ballard

eimear ballard is twenty years old from northern ireland

eek! 'eimear' was more productive:

Googlism for: eimear

eimear is not ready for that yet
eimear is running to the microphone
eimear is a solicitor and member of both the law society of england & wales and the law society of northern ireland
eimear is ideally qualified to develop the festivals on the international stage and i'm sure you'll
eimear is ideally qualified to develop the festivals on the international stage and im sure you'll
eimear is a pupil of rachel smyth
eimear is celebrating her birthday and would love to have a drink with you all
eimear is willing to do light housework
eimear is a key defensive player in the backfield
eimear is like
eimear is another of the lunatics in our class
eimear is responsible for project coordination and office administration
eimear is our little irish treasure
eimear is 20
eimear is a director and owner of o'sullivan shoes limited
eimear is ready for a come back after having a litter and should run there in a veteran race on final night
eimear is directly responsible for some of the greatest fun i've had in dcu so far
eimear is the chick
eimear is set to study at trinity college of music
eimear is only 6 but her drawing is clear and detailed and expresses exactly what she wants in the area where she lives
eimear is expecting their third child next may
eimear is expecting their third child
eimear is a doctor
eimear is the newest member of team denners and has not yet been issued with a title
eimear is having some problems with her pony puca
eimear is expecting their third child in may
eimear is outwardly a serious woman but those who get close to her can tell you she has a warm and fun loving character
eimear is still in the hospital
eimear is a very pretty girl
eimear is in her 60s and has been active in her community for many years
eimear is a second year communications student
eimear is now doing a diploma in business studies at the smurfit business school in dublin

go on, have some crazy times yourself

The shower: UPDATE

allegedly the shower has been fixed.
i'll believe that when i see it!

December 30, 2004

Loon watch: UPDATE

latest loon-spotting work was by kate kordel… innocently making her way through london, young kate was accosted by a female american loon, who proceeded to scream: 'i hate us americans. only americans would listen to a daughter argue with her dying mother. now, fuck off.'
good work kate!

Accident and Emergency, rubbish!

well! it's been quite an eventful day for me. after experiencing my 5th-ish day of ridiculous chest pain, i went to A+E at the ulster hospital for a fun-filled day of sitting. luckily, i was able to experience that heart-searing excitement of total panic at an early stage, when a rakish young doctor wackily suggested that i may have deep vein thrombosis, or perhaps a collapsed lung, which would have been a suitably extreme way to end this unbelievably extreme year. ECG and x-ray, however, proved neither of these to be true. so i'm still none the wiser. but i have many, many painkillers.

December 28, 2004

Play in a Day

hang on a's not on's on saturday!
simon's comment has reminded me that i have to remind all you lot (muh) about…
…this is an annual event held by freshblood theatre in which students are invited to spend 24 hours working on short plays which will be shown up in zippy's, or the graduate club as it's now known, on SATURDAY WEEK TWO. a meeting will take place in which those writers who haven't got their own actors or production team can be allocated a cast and people to help out, and the 24-hour slot preparation time is intended for actors to learn lines and props etc. to be sorted. it is possible to write the play in this time too, but obviously it makes things a little, if you've got any ideas for a short play, get writing! – or if you'd like some help in developing an idea, then contact us on watch this space for more details of dates and times, or email us to join the mailing list.

December 27, 2004


Afternoon all! Hope everyone had a very merry Christmas indeed. Mine was great, especially as I woke up on Christmas morning to find that my house had been miniaturised and placed inside a shakable snowscene. Ace! Anyway, one of my favourite parts of Christmas is the 'jokes' inside crackers…here are some of my favourites, with a bit of a farmyard animal theme…

'Why did the farmer call his horse Blacksmith?'
'The horse kept making a bolt for the door.'

'What do you get if you cross a sheep with a grasshopper?'
'A woolly jumper.'

'What are the initials of a hungry horse?'

'What is yellow and a whizz at maths?'
'A banana with a pocket calculator.'

'What comes out of the ground at ninety miles per hour?'
'A turbo charged carrot.'

'Why is it hard to steal canals?'
'Because of all the locks.'

'A pie walks into a bar. 'Sorry' says the barman, 'we don't serve food in here'.'

And my personal favourite…
'What cake flies through the air and comes back again?'
'A boomerangue.'

I would have more, but I slipped into a coma at an early stage of proceedings during Christmas dinner. Can anyone beat these?

December 22, 2004

Of course…

Follow-up to POLL: What is the grimmest thing in the world? from Talking Behind the Psychic's Back

Thanks Roisin – I forgot OF COURSE to add the indian man wanking and crying on the bus to coventry…how could i have forgotten that?? does that beat the toothless woman in the debonair thanking me for everything i'd done for her son?

POLL: What is the grimmest thing in the world?

What do you think? So far, contenders (both spotted by Roisin) are…
1. Two chavs squeezing each others' spots in front of a cash machine in Loughborough
2. An obese woman wearing a muumuu and a sombrero, and riding on a mobility scooter, at a donkey derby in Coventry
Can anyone beat that?

Safari pics online!

Hey all, photos from safari are now up..check 'Safari' in the 'Galleries' malarky on the left!

December 2004

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