March 29, 2005

one of us, one of us…gibble gabble, gibble gabble…one of us, one of us

things which i have spotted in other peoples' gardens this week:
– innumerable fake palm trees
– a 6foot dalek
– a dog in an armchair
– a WOLF.
i've been trying to get a photo of the wolf but i haven't succeeded yet. i'll keep trying, though. it looks a bit like this, if you can imagine this tied up in a chav's garden.

carter, my mum's just asked if you are my boyfriend. jesus. can you imagine?
i've just seen 'goodbye lenin' for the second time and it is such an incredible, beautiful film…i very highly recommend it!

How insane are you?

Dangerously Insane!

I would image that most people try to avoid you at all costs. You think nothing of going on violent rampages or saying 'bleep' for absolutly no reason. You're a bloody maniac.

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is it any wonder, considering where i live?
well now, it's late march, and that can only mean one thing for belfast… it's time for the annual Titanic festival. with no hint of irony whatsoever, 'titanic: made in belfast' generates a week of festivities during which the northern irish capital celebrates one of history's biggest metaphors. great stuff! very well done, belfast!

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  1. Ballard, you and I could never be romantically linked for several reasons.

    Firstly, I am an insufferable bastard with a bad attitude and no time for unnecessary pleasantries. You, by contrast, are an excessively polite girl from Northern ireland who wastes far too much time talking to people she has no interest in.

    Secondly, I am a fashion icon whereas you habitually wear bad jumpers.

    And lastly, of course, your taste in music is so fucking god-penetratingly awful that were I to have to be subjected to any more of it than is absolutely necessary I would probably be forced to violently slash your jugular with an Os Mutantes disc.

    I love you, man. Come back home soon!

    29 Mar 2005, 11:22

  2. One last thing, as beige hits a new potential low:


    Please tell me this is some kind of joke that I'm not in on…

    29 Mar 2005, 11:32

  3. well, yes, carter. thank you for letting me down gently. i forgot, of course, that you are indeed a fashion icon, and that therefore our love can never work.
    anyway, i really don't think that's a joke, from scanning the rest of the guy's blog. a worrying group of beigeniks is emerging here…i won't mention any names…but they're easily discernible if you can turn your brain off for long enough to wade into the mire that is warwick blogs in general (this included, of course, as this blog probably makes sense to about three people, myself often excluded). but that's no surprise when you consider that the vast tsunami of beige would soon wash over an activity which already contains such potential for geekiness. it was only so long before those stagecoach bus conversations would be represented in blog form… and all of this begs that eternal, beige question:
    'what's your favourite flavour of pie?'

    29 Mar 2005, 12:53

  4. Or better still, which do you prefer – soup or spaghetti hoops?

    Have you met my pet bee?


    (Incidentally, the command centre for Operation Beige UK appears to have opened up for business here – link – for all your beige needs).

    29 Mar 2005, 13:11

  5. well, as i said, i didn't want to mention names; but yes, that is the beige epicentre.
    not only is beige damaging to your eyes, ears, and mental health, it has now been proven to cause dietary disorder! check out the 'ban the beige' diet:
    Ban the beige

    29 Mar 2005, 13:56

  6. Roisin

    Why is there such an epidemic of beige at the moment? It's bizarre to meet a 22 year old woman who only owns 4 CDS and whose favourite film is Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – do you think that the beige is some weird genetic throwback? It must be eliiminated – maybe that giant dalek that lives near you could do it?

    29 Mar 2005, 20:33

  7. i would absolutely love to see the dalek exterminating said harridan. or maybe the herd of elephants stamping on her. i don't know why there's so much beige around but i think it's because they've just been allowed to GET AWAY with being completely non-descript. it must end!!!

    31 Mar 2005, 00:40

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