August 18, 2005

looks like you got everything but a tall redhead

maybe this will work a little better than my ill-fated 'bad poetry' competition.

i want you to send me…
the worst-written piece of pornographic fiction you can come up with

best entry gets…
a night of passion with carter.

- 24 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

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  1. Cath

    Self-composed or just some more dross found on the internet?

    18 Aug 2005, 19:42

  2. hehehe you said "best entry".

    erm, i'll think about this and get back on the porn case.

    18 Aug 2005, 20:35

  3. Konstantin

    now, two things, one good, one very bad.

    lets start with the bad thing:
    and I thought Greece would be the one place where IT wouldn't pester me. and, yes ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about CRAZY FROG! walking down my local high street (think Parade, only instead of McDees we have a souvlaki place), a beautiful sunset, everyone out and about walking and windowshopping and… RINGADINGADINGDING. this dude who thinks he's COOL drive down the street in his Skoda or something with the FROG in full volume. it's spreading like the plague. INGHHH.

    Good thing: 11pm at a seaside restaurant, sitting by the sea. rocks. a big piece of bread on one rock. a crab on top of the big piece of bread eating it. I could see glee in its movements. king of his castle.


    and I heart Eim. and Roisin.

    18 Aug 2005, 22:28

  4. Konstantin

    …oh, and I am sure I can dig out some bad pornography. I did do creative writing, after all, didn't I? :-D

    18 Aug 2005, 22:29

  5. hmm, self-composed i think. i was inspired after reading this website:


    i love you too, kons! and i think i will see nick tonight, so i will get him on the case. it's another reason for you to come visit us!!

    19 Aug 2005, 12:54

  6. Carter

    Change of prize: both the best AND worst entries win a night of passion with me. In fact, all entrants do. Desperate times, desperate measures…

    19 Aug 2005, 12:57

  7. Cath

    I'll come up with something semi-original anon, but here's some dross to tide you over. And leave Carter be…



    19 Aug 2005, 13:55

  8. eh? carter would like nothing better than a heated exchange with a writer of bad pornographic fiction! this i know to be a fact.

    oh christ i've almost finished my dissertation!

    19 Aug 2005, 14:40

  9. Uh-oh, impending vast empty hole in your life alert.

    19 Aug 2005, 18:17

  10. i can't wait for a giant life-hole!

    19 Aug 2005, 18:18

  11. Resists temptation to say something very rude.

    19 Aug 2005, 18:43

  12. yes yes yes

    very good

    19 Aug 2005, 18:44

  13. On reflection, I shouldn't have resisted, after all, isn't this a bad pornography post?

    19 Aug 2005, 18:47

  14. well, exactly!

    19 Aug 2005, 18:48

  15. Cath

    trademark cliches in bad pornography:

    misuse of the word "engorged"

    and "his rapidly-hardening penis"

    I can link you if you want to this french canadian woman I met in Toronto who thinks she's a vampire and sends me her erotic blogs on a regular basis

    19 Aug 2005, 20:04

  16. Konstantin

    Hollinghurst is the god. 'knob-flaunting speedos'

    19 Aug 2005, 20:06

  17. Yoko

    I think you found the tall redhead

    21 Aug 2005, 12:38

  18. Roisin

    I heart you too Konstantin! I'm sitting in Canley library using the computer there and it's actually quite state of the art, with a stealth matt-black keyboard and monitor, and although it's in Canley it's not nearly as grim as you might imagine.

    Overheard this morning – Pam (crazy next door) saying to her friend who was off to sign on – "Don't get a job!"

    Also, Kev's Nik Naks may be closing down, they're having an 'everything must go' sale – what will Carter do now?!

    22 Aug 2005, 13:18

  19. Konstantin

    I have just been messaged on gaydar by crazy frog. I'm not kidding. I'm depressed for the week, now.

    only a roisin on a scooter will cheer me up.

    22 Aug 2005, 18:57

  20. Gordon R

    would that be Roisin "Frisbee hands" Muldoon??

    Crazy frog, eh? What happened to all those lovely UK guys?

    23 Aug 2005, 00:12

  21. Konstantin

    if I'm approached at the bar by sweety the chick, then I'll be really worried.

    YES! where the eff are all those lovely UK guys? eh? eh? eh?

    23 Aug 2005, 03:06

  22. Roisin

    It may well be Random, these hands are frisbee magic, and they help me run as well. Konstantin, when you come back, come visit us in Canley and I'll scoot away to your heart's content :D

    23 Aug 2005, 13:25

  23. Smoogle the Earth Diplomat

    buy more bananas, i think that may help.

    Feck nuts.

    23 Aug 2005, 18:00

  24. Oh my god.

    I think they've actully put me off for the forseeable-I'll just keep remembering how ridiculus that all was!

    23 Aug 2005, 23:56

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