April 12, 2005

eim's art school: LESSON THREE

alrite, pupils, i hope you're sitting comfortably. today's art lesson will be on wassily kandinsky. now, kandinsky really sucks balls, and his paintings should be exhibited nowhere other than pizza hut. look at one of them for just a moment:

do you see that it sucks? good. your homework is to try and tell the difference between kandinsky and his equally sucky counterpart miro:

what a mess!

good luck with that.
holly cruise, i await your reponse!


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  1. You're only doing this to bait me really aren't you? Personal opinion here is that Miro is better than Kandinsky who was always a little too wild with his colours for me. Miro on the other hand comes up with stuff like this and this showing he's more versatile.

    I went into Fopp yesterday and thoguht I was safe because they didn't stock half the CDs I wanted… then I saw all the art books on sale. Where is that goddam loan when you need it?

    12 Apr 2005, 13:31

  2. hmmmmmmmmm…but then miro did paint 'wind amongst the bullrushes' which, you must admit, is rubbish. who else do you like? i bet you're a picasso fan. boik!
    fopp will be the downfall of us all!

    12 Apr 2005, 13:34

  3. Gordon R

    I think I painted that second one in primary school! Is he plagarising my work? Next we'll see Miro's take pastiche of Three Cats that I won a prize for (and I was in the local paper – oh the fame, the fame!!)

    12 Apr 2005, 13:46

  4. gordon random, you're not working at all. you're merely avoiding my questions, which is only compounding your velvet underground-esque femme fatale status.

    12 Apr 2005, 13:47

  5. Gordon R

    I am wooooooooooorking. Just had to write a short snippet about my time with the disadvantaged children of Tower Hamlets.Bless them.

    Femme Fatale – what's the male equivalent??? I'm keeping myself gender free

    12 Apr 2005, 13:49

  6. gordon random, you're a girl. that much has been established.
    of course, should you choose to keep yourself free of gender definition, that is a more than legitimate cause which is very close to my own heart – maybe you'd be more prepared to elope with me if you didn't think of me as 'miss ballard' – i don't know. but i'm pretty much sure that you already revealed yourself to be a girl. which doesn't narrow it down much..

    12 Apr 2005, 13:53

  7. Gordon R

    I wonder what gender indentifying speech I have laced my comments with? Perhaps if I lead you to think I am female, but am actually a man, then I've sort of created a clever deception, much like the double spy people (what are they called??? help, someone). Or I could be a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman in a post-ironic way (what a lovely term to absently throw around).

    As for the herring, you did well there. I think you should keep with the herring's colour and build on there. But I don't actually want to reveal myself, this is too much fun.

    12 Apr 2005, 14:39

  8. brain explodes

    12 Apr 2005, 14:40

  9. Collects exploded remains of Eimear's brain and puts them on a canvas

    I'm a fackin' artist, inn'i?

    And Picasso kicks arse. Don't diss the man.

    12 Apr 2005, 16:28

  10. Go to Miro's gallery in Barcelona. It is awesome. By far the best gallery i've been to. You have to actually see the canvases in real life to get the sense of what they are about. And before hand, read the first few chapters of Felix Guattari's Chaosmosis, which doesn't refer to Miro, but really does explain it.

    12 Apr 2005, 20:18

  11. Or perhaps you think that painting should be more than just a joyful expression of form, colour, texture, life, chaos and emergence. In which case, just don't bother.

    Although you'll be missing out on the giant fluffy cat, which really is something quite special.

    12 Apr 2005, 20:22

  12. Gordon R

    Robert O' – would you say the paintings have an autopoietic advantage over other paintings, in that they don't need the viewer to place an appreciative value upon them? They just exist in a self-referential, self-mainting value system? They just…....exist. Or perhaps the paintings can only achieve sense/value when someone constructs such sentiments for them.

    I must stop throwing 'autopoietic' around. Perhaps I'll come for…..............your bike!!!!

    12 Apr 2005, 21:45

  13. robert – i'd be more than willing to have some proper discussion of art on here. clearly, the opinions expressed on these posts are not those which come out of my actual, real brain. still not a big fan of miro though.

    13 Apr 2005, 12:04

  14. You have more than one brain? Cool.

    13 Apr 2005, 17:17

  15. Gordon R

    Robert'O!!!!!! How's the bike???

    13 Apr 2005, 17:17


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