January 23, 2006

Catch a boat to England, baby

Well now!
Monday morning, I appear to have been the first person into the union today, which is especially not cool as I'm not even a student any more. However, I'm not going to worry, no, I'm just going to hope that Jobseeker's will seek me out a decent job after my appointment with them on the 25th. All is well in Canley apart from the arrival of an apocalyptic crow which has taken to roosting outside our house and screaming 'BWAH!' just as we wake up. The utter hideousness of the heckling neighbours has been nullified, anyway, by the injection of sophistication to the Can which was the awesome cocktail party – much dignity and discussion of French music, good. Good news also is that Random and I are taking a holiday to Stockholm in February, just after my birthday, so I'm feeling pretty happy despite being unemployed. My jobless status makes it perfectly justifiable for me to watch television programmes such as 'The Jeremy Kyle Show', 'Celebrity Big Brother', and, last night, 'Britain's Best Psychic Ever' (or similar). Presented by Trisha (remember her?) this was a gameshow in which contestants competed to be crowned The Most Psychic Idiot in England. My scepticism about this was compounded by the show itself, in which hapless idiots determined to be bowled over by the extrasensory capabilities of more hapless idiots engaged in conversations such as these:

Fake Psychic: 'I'm getting something… it's… some sort of figure is appearing…'
Hapless Idiot: 'Oooh, yes! That must be my grandmother!'
Fake Psychic: 'It seems to be taking on…a female shape…she's telling me that she cares for you very much…was this a maternal figure in your life?'
Hapless Idiot: 'Oooooh!!!'
Fake Psychic: 'I'm getting the letter… A?'
Hapless Idiot: 'Hmmm…'
Fake Psychic: 'The letter B?'
Hapless Idiot: 'Ooooh! My second husband's middle name was Barry!'
Fake Psychic: 'She seems to have…more spirits around her…'
Hapless Idiot: 'Oooooh! Has she got my rabbit? And how's Grandad Smith?'
Fake Psychic: 'She seems to be holding an animal…perhaps a pet? And she's with a male figure…'
Hapless Idiot: 'Oooooh!!!'

My god. Surely, the televisual equivalent of the latest advice given by 'Ruth the Truth' in this week's 'Chat' magazine:

'Joanne from Portsmouth, your dad wants you to know that he's very happy on the other side, and he's got both his legs.'


- 2 comments by 1 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. If only you were as psychic as they are, you could have predicted it was going to be rubbish and not watched it.

    23 Jan 2006, 13:29

  2. Hehe, brilliant blog, I'm glad you've watched it so I don't have to! Well sacrificed =)

    24 Jan 2006, 19:57


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