All entries for Monday 24 January 2005

January 24, 2005

Baby, i'm bored

god in heaven.
i'm bored already, i really should go to the library but i can't be bothered. out of sheer finger-twitching indolence i've done a google image search for 'eimear' and 'eim' (because that is my name. and its abbreviated version) and i've found a bunch of pictures. come on, everyone does that, don't they? here are my favourites from the first couple of pages of results….

what in the name of all things holy is this?

pfffft….hehehe….sorry. that's really lame.


well, that was a surprise!


what? rubbish!



euch! okay, i'll stop this now. extra special bonus points to those of you who can spot the picture that actually is of me. bizarre!

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life, doo doo doo doo

…as Des'ree once said.
anyway, life is grand over here. i've missed the whole blogging malarky over the last few weeks; in fact, i've missed the outside world in general as my brain has been growing a horrible shell of 'what is reality?' cells during essay chaos, which i've melted over the last few days by enduring far too many episodes of '60 minute makeover'. anyway, extremity still reigns at chesham street and no-one has yet solved the mystery of the 'help help help' sign. i've got a car…it looks like this (but this isn't it, exactly)...

it's great to have a car but unfortunately it means i have to be accompanied at all times by that appalling chris carter, the world's worst backseat driver. just kidding, carter. i loves ya. but as long as you sit in my car, you listen to my 'soul of brazil' tape, and that's that. thanks to all who turned up to the freshblood music night at kelseys, it was a big success and there were some fantastic acts on. for those of you who saw carter and i doing our version of elliott smith's 'twilight', you may remember that we dedicated the song to 'sue'. now, i've tried to tell the story of sue, but i don't think i could articulate it as clearly as the unfortunate soul who experienced this phenomenal lady in all of her true loon-ness. so, over to you, roisin…

"So anyway….Sue…well, she responded to an ad I had on teletext looking for something, and we started to write to one another. I was 15 and she told me that she was twenty. She wasn't that freaky to begin with but then I gave her my phone number and she started to phone me all the time, like every night. So after a few months she finally confessed that she was nearly 30 and in a wheelchair, living at home with her mum who could hardly talk because she'd had like 3 strokes, and could I ever forgive her for lying to me. I said I didn't really mind what age she was and the same about the wheelchair thing, so she sent me loads of presents to say thanks for being so forgiving and stuff. I got so much post from her, seriously a parcel every day, and the mail started opening it because I think they thought there were bombs in it or something, it was really stupid. If I mentioned I liked a band she'd go out and buy me the entire back catalogue and send it to me, and she was always sending sweets as well. This went on for ages and eventually my parents told her to stop ringing me because I was doing my GCSEs. She also kept trying to get me to visit her in London. Eventually in lower 6th she came over to visit, with her entire family, and stayed in a hotel in Cookstown, and got really pissed off with me because I couldn't go and see her every night (clealy I had school so I couldn't) Emma and I took a day off school to go to Belfast with her and she bought me everything I even looked at (it was totally ridiculous) and in Primark at the back (you know the back door) she asked me to marry her!! I was totally astounded and obviously said no, but that we'd always be friends and that was fine….then a few nights later we went out to Clubland, and I got totally wasted and was talking to a friend of mine, Eamonn. He was lovely and a good friend, we used to get off with each other all the time but nothing serious came out of it, he was just a REALLY good kisser and we got on so well. Well, I hadn't seen him in ages and he was upset because someone had broken into his car and stolen money and his stereo, so I was chatting to him for a while. We didn't even kiss, but Sue went completely mental and screamed at me for deliberately trying to hurt her when I knew she was in love with me, and that I loved her too…it was awful because I was too drunk to defend myself properly. Of course I had never told her I was in love with her. Then she grabbed me by the wrist and told me that she knew I loved her but couldn't say because it would upset my parents, but that if I wanted to I could go live with her in London and it would all be okay. I had to get out, so I got Emma and we left, and she followed me down the street shouting at me. My dad was collecting me but hadn't yet arrived, and Emma and I were standing waiting on him and she wouldn't go away, and eventually my friend Dave came over to stand with us, he hugged me and tried to calm me down until my dad arrived. The whole time Sue was right beside me, the next day I had bruises on my ankles from where her wheelchair was digging into me. She went away whenever daddy came though, but she phoned me the next day to try and sort it out. Daddy answered the phone and wouldn't put her through, and she went home later that evening. She wrote me a few letters telling me that I loved her and she knew it, but when I ignored them she sent really nasty ones and kept sending them until I started returning them unopened. It was totally messed up. She kept in contact with Clare Casey, and when Clare fell out with me for going out with Ryan (she's gone out with him for a week and then dumped him) she wrote to Sue and said that I stole him, and Sue wrote to me saying "I know who you're going out with – RYAN MARTIN - and I know who you walked over to get him!!"!!! I haven't heard from her since. Clare stopped writing to her but got a random phone call about a year ago saying that she'd totally moved on and was living with a woman who had five kids!! Mental! Good old Sue though, you know I didn't even know what she looked like until she came over, she had only sent me one photo of herself, and in it she had a bucket on her head!! She was a proper Timmy too, loser!! So that's the story except there's this whole other fing wot I don't even know about, cos I know that all came out a bit Vicki Pollardish!"

jesus christ. see you next time!

January 2005

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