All entries for Thursday 21 April 2005
April 21, 2005
i just put 50p into the vending machine outside the library. 'polo mints, please,' i said. the little whirring mechanism happily whirred around; '15 pence change, and a good day to you', it answered. unfortunately, nothing was dispensed. our friend mr vending machine had no more polo mints, no it didn't, no more.
either i'm seriously distracted or i'm a complete moron.
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE OIL THAT CHRISTING DOOR?!?!
there is no point in designating a section of the computer rooms by the library for silent study if the pissing door makes a noise straight out of 'anal llama sleepover part eight' every three-fifths of a second
let's get some WD-40 in here, please. i will be happy to come oil the doors as part of my middle-class / middle-age sunday activities which also include dusting my window sill and washing my car.
anyway, according to the 'internet', this is the worst joke in the world:
"A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant. They peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef's special chicken surprise. The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Jesus, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and again he sees two beady little eyes looking around before it firmly slams back down.
Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.
"Well sir", says the waiter, "What did you order?"
"We both chose the same", he replies, "the chicken surprise."
"Oh I do apologise, this is my fault" says the waiter, "I've brought you the Peking Duck."
jesus christ. can anyone do worse than that?!
today's lesson will address that contentious issue of cubism. cubism was an artistic movement which developed in the early twentieth century under the influence of picasso and cezanne. the basic theory behind it was that the sphere, cone and cylinder were the basis for all physical formations and that every aspect of the subject presented could be seen at once with the appropriation of multiple points of view, if you will. cubism had run its course by the end of the first world war, but its influence could be felt throughout twentieth-century art.
unfortunately, it was a total pile of piss.
it seems that i will be going to rainbows this evening (guh). so if any of you characters fancy coming along, i'll see u there!