All entries for Thursday 16 February 2006
February 16, 2006
In prelude to the forthcoming entry on 'Tesco and all of its evilness', allow us to entertain you with the following.
Now, Random and I made a little trip over to P.C. World earlier today, in order to fulfill our relatively simple request for a new hard drive. Computer illiterate we may well be, but still, we expected service of the calibre promised to us by that stupid T.V. advert, with salespeople appearing from within our very bodies and handing us USB cables, frankincense and myrrh. Instead, what we received was something along these lines:
Fleur: 'Oh, hello. I was wondering if'-
P.C. World Employee: 'What?'
Fleur: 'Well -'
P.C. World Employee: 'No, sorry.'
Fleur: 'Excuse me -'
P.C. World Employee: 'Not my section, mate.'
Fleur: 'Can I just have a hard drive?'
P.C. World Employee: 'None in stock, mate.'
Fleur: 'But I just phoned you, and you said you had several.'
P.C. World Employee: 'What?'
Fleur: 'Do you have any?'
P.C. World Employee: 'There only is one, and you can't have it. It doesn't work.'
Fleur: 'Then why are you selling it?'
P.C. World Employee: 'Well, it does work, but you can't have it.'
Me: 'Do you have any scanners? I'm looking for a scanner, but not a printer, just a scanner on its own.'
P.C. World Employee: 'Say that all again.'
P.C. World Employee: 'Hmmm. Well there are two models available. One of them is much better than the other, and much cheaper.'
Me: 'Oh, so why is the other one more expensive?'
P.C. World Employee: 'You what?'
Me: 'Well, I'll have the cheaper one then please.'
P.C. World Employee: 'We haven't got any.'
Fleur: 'Look, can I just please have a hard drive?'
P.C. World Employee: 'You can't take that one, it won't work.'
Fleur: Oh. (to other P.C. World Employee) Will this hard drive work okay?'
P.C. World Employee: 'Yeah mate! No problem!'
Fleur: 'Oh. I'll have this then please.'
P.C. World Employee: 'Okay, but you can't take it out of the (plain unlabelled cardboard) box until you know it'll definitely work, cos we can't return it when the seal's broken.'
In conclusion, then, the idyllic world promised to us by television is proven once again to be nothing but a falsehood. For this was what we expected:
but this, dearest reader, is what we received.
For God's sake!!!
If you owned a clothes shop in the middle of a busy and popular part of town, where tourists might stroll past catching a glimpse of your wares, how would advertise your products and create a stunning window display?
a) arrange the clothes artistically following a colour theme, perhaps a seasonal theme, give examples of accessories to go with the clothes..
b) go for a traditional mannequin display with blank eyed women staring out of the window at potential buyers, with the clothes hung in a formal but proficient manner that demonstrates how they would fall against the body..
c) use taxidermed animals in the window front, a hideous witchy looking woman with a big hooked nose, more taxidermed animals but with human noses and ears stuck on them. The final insult after being killed (or dying of natural causes), stuffed and displayed in a clothes shop window..
What's your choice?
That there folks is a hedgehog with a funny bill stuck on along with a sailor's cap, a small puppy, a grotesque monkey and a ferret/weasal/stoat thing in the background. Sadly the picture doesn't show the congor eel, the duck, the mongoose, the kitten, the small piglet, oh, and the horrible woman with the hooked nose.
Any swedish speakers please please translate what the little signs are!!!
This really is an awful awful painting. Found in the window of an eclectic arty-type shop in Sweden. It appears a suggestion was made to the artist that they used a geometry tool to get the perspective on their paintings more to real life. Instead the artist drew a set square alongside a bottle of wine and a lime type fruit that now all appear completely out of proportion to each other and presents evidence for the largest set square and the scariest sized lime ever to be found.