All entries for Saturday 06 November 2004

November 06, 2004

Latest chav quotations

the social phenomenon of the chav is one which never ceases to amaze me. i think that my main fascination comes from the old chicken / egg argument…was there one original chav group who spawned all the rest, or did a whole section of society decide to adopt the unique language / clothes / attitude with which we so associate this noble group of Britons? i don't know. but either way, they provide a constant source of amusement. especially when they utter such sterling phrases as these…

Enter Chav Mother, pushing pram which contains a screaming, herpes-ridden baby covered in sores.
Chav Baby: Waaaaaaaaaaaah!
Chav Mother: That's it! I'm eatin your fuckin happy meal.

Aboard one 'Virgin Voyager' train, en route to Leamington Spa from Derby.
Chav One: 'How dya spell 'Leicester'?'
Chav Two: ''l e s s t e r', innit?'
Chav One: 'Nah, i fink it's l e s s t a r'
Chav Two: 'Is fer two esses? Maybe l e s t e r'
Chav One: 'Nah, fat's a name, int? I fink's l e s t a r'
Chav Two: 'Is fer not an I in it?'
Me: (silent scream)

Outside Boots on Belfast's Royal Avenue, Saturday afternoon.
Chav One: 'Whata fuck is youse guana dee now, here?'
Chav Two: 'I duano. Bur me fuckin eyelids are sweatin.'

Jesus Lord! What is the NEED?

And by the way, whatever anyone says, Belfast chavs (or spides as they are known) are the world's worst. Check out here for further proof:
The Spide Generator

Is this the world's grimmest pizza?

well, now…i couldn't think of any better way to start off my blog than to mention this, truly the grimmest pizza the world over. this must be even grimmer than vialli's 'marco polo funghi', which comes without tomato sauce (ketchup optional). it is…
the domino's double decadence. it contains one pizza-y layer of goodness, one base, one PASTE OF CHEESE AND HERB, and one more base.
honestly, what is the need?
HONESTLY? look at all that paste!

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