All entries for Tuesday 06 September 2005

September 06, 2005

hang on, there's more…

Writing about web page http://www.dolls-house-parade.co.uk/making-food-tips.html

sorry, just found this one too. this is a website giving guidance in the delicate art of making food for dolls. my favourite part of this site is its opening line:

"Whilst dolls cannot actually eat, there is nevertheless a huge range of wonderful looking food, which can grace the kitchens and tables of your dolls house."

jesus.

yes, indeed.


erm…

Writing about web page http://www.rosiered.co.uk/rosiep17.html

attempting to find an amusing picture to accompany the last entry in my own inimitable style which you, dearest reader, do know and love, i happened upon this monstrosity. with my long career as a purveyor of internet tat, i had thought that little would surprise me. this, however, truly does take the cake, as it were.

this is the official site of some loony woman who makes dolls' heads (not whole dolls, just the heads) out of watermelons and then makes hair for them. i cannot really say any more than that, i'm afraid. just go and look at it.


i don't want people asking me about grim fandango

well now, well now!
i haven't posted on here in a good wee while, due to being hindered by my incapacitating, dodgy knee and my incapacitating, shitty job. nevertheless, here i am.

firstly, the story of the fish.
last week we purchased three happy, smiley fish from the local pet store. obviously not exempt from the canley curse, however, these fish are no longer looking good. so much so, in fact, that one of them (mitch ryder and the detroit wheels) is, in fact, dead. diana ross and the supremes is looking incredibly peaky, and martha and the vandellas has lost much of her spark. watch this space for latest fish updates. we have quarantined them into different tanks. we may only hope and pray that they survive the night. we may only hope…and pray.

anyway, other than that.
the canley kids have gone back to school, after purchasing their shitty school uniforms from me in my crappy job. on their return from school today, however, they broke into our house (of course they did!!) and stole some sweets. the one who always smells of piss told us that he'd got in trouble that day for punching someone in the face. there is, truly, no hope. we now have internet access in the canley abode so, sadly, are no longer forced to surf from the relative sanctuary of the zimbabwe-esque canley library, decorated on the outside by an interesting jungle mural, in which can be heard that unique canley soundtrack – a mixture of the revving of mobility scooters, the screaming of children, and the snoring of fat women with moustaches. of course, we haven't lost touch with our roots, being still from the block as it were, and so we experienced a wonderful canley moment earlier. crossing the subway under that shitty road that leads to vile tile hill, we were able to witness some of the following, delightful graffiti (pictures one day if i can bear it):

"NICOLE W. IS A FUCKING HO"

"kill all chi-chi mans"

"fucking clener clen this you bitch"

"COV R SHIT"

"big boobs 4 jonny"

and, my personal favourite…
"NICOLE W. GOT RAGGED UP THE SHITTER"

little remains to be said.
by the way, why does no one ever try to figure out the obscure film references which make up the titles to my blog entries? the prize of my love goes to the first one of you to work some of them out.

not my love love, obviously.
cos, you know, that's like prostitution.


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