All entries for Saturday 22 April 2006
April 22, 2006
I believe for a general studies resit I wrote an essay on what would be my ideal home, which went on a tangent to explain that what they expected would be I want a mansion in the California sun strip, but a home is much more than bricks and mortar… in fact that is just the house. And yes there is a difference. I count a home as a place that you are wanted, where you feel accepted and where you dont prefer to hide away in order not to annoy the hell outta someone. So on that score, I think maybe there are few times during uni that Ive felt at home.
Maybe some people would point out the fact that it doesnt help alienating oneself in that position. Or maybe due to visiting parents in the holidays, Im home sick…. I doubt it, Ive not lived at home now for 4 yrs, and although a nice change I dont feel truly in my place, though I do enjoy staying, its more a holiday.
Ive never been one to invade other peoples privacy and if that gets to the levels that I feel that Im really not wanted around certain bodies, I will make myself scarce. Its one of my many talents that I can pick up vibes and respect the fact that my presence isnt on the agenda. So I walk off…. creating depression? No far from it. It makes me even more certain that I have a better view of things than some I dont care to mention, and that me having problems with people are usually completely open, if they originate from something I dont like. I could be confrontational. I could be angry, but to be honest Im just not that way inclined anymore. People can get on with their own things, if they dont get in my way. I say whatever, Im the happiest Ive been in I dont know how many years, Im guessing since the 16th July 1998, random date I know but reasons. And believe me, no1 is gonna change that.