All entries for Wednesday 22 February 2006

February 22, 2006

Coronation Street


Before I finish my JET interview blog, I just can't stop the feeling within me to rant about a certain TV program.

A certain chain of events has been leading to this moment. Don't say I didn't warn you.

So, what's the most watched TV show in Britain? No, it's not sodding Eastenders anymore. It's the every more (insert every possible deragatory profanity here) rubbish Coronation Street. Something like 11.5 Million people sat down to watch the poxy programme over the last week.

Sorry, but a descriptive word will precede every mention of the programme in mention.

What does it say about today's culture and society when 'The Programme That Shall Not Be Named' is the most watched entertainment from the cathode ray dispenser?

Not only that, most of it's viewers are too lazy to even name it fully, shortening it to 'Corro' or it's referenced to as 'The Street'.


When Jeff marries Martha, Fred's estranged brother twice removed cousin previously Esmerelda sex changed girlfriend, Bob hits Tony, his half father shopkeeper prostitute serial killer lover, because he wants to marry Martha, his step mothers split personality.

Seriously, no, that's actually next weeks story line.

When people try to argue that its actually good. You have to ask them why. Then, it's like they weren't expecting that question. It's like they expected the totally undeniable 'Corro Force' will brainwash you into liking it for them. If that fails and they actually have to come up with reasons, normally the shock causes brain failure and the replies chortle nervously something along the lines of 'Cos it is'. Well, our survery says… uuuh.

Ok, so that's cruel. So drop me some justification. It's well written? Let me describe the 'too many cooks' problem. Then, actually go back and read some of the plot lines. Think to yourself about them for a while, you'll find a four year old must have been on the writing council. A sadistic four year old who knows only four words. Die, Kiss, Split, Kill. See how many story lines you can make with the characters available in the programme. Oh look, loads, and they all seem like ones they actually used. Told you, four year old.

When there are soap esque drama's out there like Desperate Housewives that are written a darn sight better (not quite perfect but give me that) why is this pap watched?

Then, viewers are shocked by the events on screen more often than not. But, they've read it last week in a gossip magazine so know what's going to happen. I pray for these people.

So if it's not well written, where's the next bit of justification coming from? Oh, it's well acted?

Uhhu. Please. Casualty is better acted. Yes. I said casualty is better acted. I saw some of Highlander the other night. That was better acted. Yes, yes it was.

Why, if it's well acted, have these people never been offered anything remotely better than a backwater job in a poor British soap opera? Ok they have? They've only turned it down because their job is secure for all 60 years of their working life as a regular.

Oh god there's more in this rant. But if I continue, I will insult and possible maim.

The backlash to this post will be more painful than any of you can possibly imagine.



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