All entries for Friday 14 October 2005

October 14, 2005

Places No–one Should Ever Have To Go


This week, no I have not been wearing thongs, a very annoying thing happened….......that's rubbish, 'a very annoying thing happened' where did I learn creative writing…jeese.

Anyway, my resident case worker or as she is fondly known nuts person control (NPC) left my folder at our last meeting.

So, the phone conversation goes as follows:

Joan, you've left your folder here.
Really? Dammit. You've not read it have you?
Not yet.
What's that supposed to mean? I don't want you reading it. Understand me?
Why not, what the hell have you left behind?
It's all confidential paperwork. Just leave it, i'll collect it asap.
You've not had a problem showing me 'confidential' stuff before.
That's because what you've been allowed to see you can deal with right now.
Are you suggesting I couldn't deal with some stupid bits of paper?
They aren't stupid, how many times do I have to tell you.
Look, you can't leave it here and not expect me to read it surely?
Listen, it's your personal file ok. You're not supposed to see it at all.
Joan, i'll try not to read it, but I can't exactly promise I won't. That's the best you get.
Fine, but if you do, we could be in a lot of trouble. Second to that, I'm not overly keen on picking up the emotional pieces of anything that comes from you reading it.
Ouch, is it that good?
Don't be funny.
Just drop me a line when you can grab it.
…..bla bla bla

So, i've now had, read and had collected my personal 'nuts' file.

All I can say is, she was bloody right. That was in no uncertain terms, not a good idea.

It's very difficult not to take a lot of it to heart. Learning what someone else (a professional) thinks about you in some depth tends to shed some light on nasty shadows you want left in the dark. If your mind is open enough then some of what's said you can learn to admit and deal with.

Frankly, I'm just starting to attempt to figure out how I deal with what i've just read. My first thought is simply…............ouch.

I think my comfort Jumper, comfort food, comfort book and comfort TV is a good start.



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