All entries for October 2005

October 30, 2005

England's Cultural Heritage

Chavtastic


Gain an hour, lose your patience

Early this morning the clocks went back an hour. This is a good thing, in that we gain an hour's sleep.

This is also a bad thing, because it means that, instead of simply setting the fire alarm off at 7 on a Sunday morning, they end up setting it off at 6.

But it was ok, since they turned it off after about 15 seconds. Realising their mistake, at about (the new, all-improved) 7am, the fire alarm may be set off again (waking me and probably everyone else up after having got back to sleep), meaning another fun trip all the way to Lakeside with four hundred foreigners.

Seriously guys, £90 per week should not equate to five fire alarms per week. You're all bad, bad men.


October 27, 2005

I have nothing to say to these people

No, no, no. This is not funny anymore. It's 02.41 and I have to be in a seminar at 10.00.

Look, here's one workable definition: Read this if you are stupid

If you don't understand, then please leave this halls, or I will find you. You will suffer.


October 24, 2005

Encore une fois

Well, at least tonight's fire alarm was at 11pm instead of 1am…

A year abroad makes you love Johnny Foreigner

No more Monday. Classes are cancelled.

Instead, Ladies & Gentlemen, we shall go in search of the dirty, loathsome, mentally deficient, uncivilised, non-fluent English-speaking little shit who managed to set off the Heroinbank (yes, that's not a typo) fire alarms at 1am on a Sunday evening. When it was pouring with rain. Meaning I had to walk across the bridge and stand outside Lakeside for 10 mins getting wet and cold, whilst waking up from my then-drowsy state and being assailed by every conceivable form of foreign language known to man.

So, my friends, tomorrow is the day we spend hunting down the culprit and depriving him of his front teeth, whilst he cries out in Chinese/Japanese/Greek/Korean/Gibberish. But, you know, probably Chinese.

Maybe if multi-cultural Warwck decided that the concept of integrated Warwick was more appealing, they might decide that putting all of their ten-grand-a-year, no-need-to-give-other-people-room-on-the-pavement, international, what's-a-smoke-alarm?, I'm-international-therefore-I-don't-need-good-manners students in the same, very expensive halls wasn't an idea conducive to such an ethos.

Hang on a minute…Maybe we need a new science building? Yeah, just stick 'em all down there next to the lake


October 15, 2005

The Blog I'm Not Reading Is Better Than TV

Today has been a quite successful day. It's been relatively warm and sunny, and I've managed to read Freud's "Das Unheimliche" and ETA Hoffman's "Der Sand-Mann". The problem is, two questions still worry me:

1. Why do I live so fucking far away from everything?

and:

2. Why is heron shit green?

These are the nightmare existential conundra that perplex my brain.


October 2005

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