February 16, 2006

Deeply saddened

ulek mayangIts time again to write.

I read the news again, as i religiously do so each day. But today, the things that i see, i read, i hear, struck a chord in my heart.

Last night, i came to the sudden realisation, or "enlightenment" if u like, just the same as how i used to. Thank you my dear friend for bringing me back to perspective.

In the midst of internship aptitude tests, interviews, tests and the building up of work for during easter, I somewhat forgot or got distracted from my true role and ambition.

Reading about Somalis dying of thirst and many more at risk of it, the Horn of Africa really showing its devastation through a terrible drought, children drinking their own urine in desperation..it was just too much to read.

I then went on to see the Oxfam page. As i always do each time i visit it, I could not help but ponder. Would it be better for me to commit to such monthly donations ( 2pds a week can feed 133 little mouths each mth!?!) or better to just give a one off donation. I wonder if many many others in the world wonder too, whether their money is really being used to its full potential..or rather than keep donating in small lumps, is there a better alternative, a funding towards something that could really alleviate this world from its torture or as some say, deviation from God's orders.

It made me think too, of how i am myself not being the world's best Muslim. But i acknowledge the fact that God is with me, and he knows my thoughts and feelings, better even than i do myself. I am almost at peace. But it just fuels me to be better, to work harder – not for myself, but for the betterment of the world. What, i wonder, could i do?! This idealistic girl cries for guidance.

For now, i shall stick to the conclusion that i always come to – study up economics. See how you can make a difference.

Haha…at the same time, i have holiday plans, interview dates, and working shifts to settle for easter. And people around me are complaining of depression over the ending of Malaysia Night practices! Oh what ignorance is blinding us all. Oh what ignorance is blinding me for thinking that i am not blinded too. Haha..i'm just as blind as the rest of them.

On a different note, i am extremely excited to reaching my 3rd and final year in Warwick. For one, i'll be back on campus – Sports Centre and LG would be accessible again! I'm staying in Claycroft so 2am shopping nights will soon return!! =) Boy, oh boy, am i excited!! NO more early mornings. NO more waiting for buses in the cold. NO more, i tell you!

Sorry ma, for not writing up much. And sorry for not saying much. It really is quite different now. I doubt it can ever be the same again. And BTW, the girl u saw on the page was INDIAN! and her hair is STRAIGHT! and her arms are 1/10th the size of mine!! I do take offense on that accusation. I can even print screen, zoom it up and send u the copy of a close up picture of her. It is NOT your DAUGHTER.

i miss my ma.

- 2 comments by 0 or more people Not publicly viewable

  1. anonymous

    it's nice to know that there are still people who think bout the sufferings in this world that some of us tend to forget about..just because they are not directly affected by it..i enjoy reading ur blog..keep up the good work!!

    19 Feb 2006, 20:58

  2. Albert

    Good to hear from a Malaysian who is aware and compassion. Each of us have only own challenges… which will in time make us a better person. Do your best to help (within your abilities and limits)... and make this world a better place.

    All the best in your studies and be a better econoimist… keep up the good faith, work and blogging.

    18 May 2006, 15:03

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